Second Sight
by kowabungabrittany
Summary: Post Eclipse. Bella chooses Jacob. Edward joins the Volturi. A new nomad pack of werewolves enter La Push. Could an all out war break? Can Bella live with her choices? And what does Mike Newton have to do with it? Enjoy.
1. The Long Road

Disclaimer (I do not own any of these characters, Stephenie Meyer does)

This is my very first fanfiction, so be nice :)

**CHAPTER ONE**

**The Long Road**

It would be the longest road that I had ever been down, or at least it seemed so at the time. My heart was pounding in an attempt to break out of my chest…but I didn't have to worry about that anymore. It wouldn't be an issue now. It's kind of an odd feeling not having to worry about my bodies reactions. You see with Jacob that wasn't a problem, it kind of became one of the final factors in my decision. Being with someone shouldn't be so hard and with Edward I had to watch myself.

With Jacob I could be myself.

Jacob couldn't hear my heart pounding when I came near and he certainly couldn't read my every movement. And best of all I could breath. I could gulp up the air at any rate I wanted. He wouldn't notice, he wouldn't even know it wasn't him breathing in so rigorously. I know this sounds confusing but it really isn't. You see Jacob and I are one, we are soul mates and apparently without my knowledge this is how it worked when your one true person was a werewolf.

The funny thing is he doesn't even know yet that I chose him, and worst of all neither does Edward. Although I assume on some level that they do already know, some how they just would know. I'm not looking forward to what lies ahead of me and that is why this will be the longest road that I will have ever gone down. I need to talk to Edward and he is waiting right at the end of it. I can actually see him right now, because he isn't rushing to me is the reason I know that he already figured out my decision.

I know Jacob knows because he isn't following me from behind the woods anymore. He knows that he won, ever since that kiss. He knows that I chose him over my sweet Edward.

I'm ranging in on about one-hundred yards from him now, he can feel my pulse, he can smell my blood. Once he told me that my sent was unlike any other, that it striked his senses in a manner not capable of being put into words. I was his and he was mine. I guess it will always be that way on some level, but for my sake I have to push that at the back of my mind. Pack it away for a while.

I love him, but I have to leave him.

I was getting closer, the air started getting colder. My eyes were closed and my fists formed balls to my sides. I could feel a hole ripping across my chest forming a wound that I knew could never be healed. I'd felt it before.

I stepped up to him as close as possible without actually touching him. I knew if I got any closer then things would have gotten out of hand. I took in his sent for one last time. Sweetness filled my nose leaving a tingly sensation. I'd miss that. My mouth opened and I spoke.

"Edward, there's something I need to tell you"


	2. Goodbyes and Hellos

Disclaimer: (Stephenie Meyer owns everything and I own nothing...this disturbs me)

**CHAPTER TWO**

**Goodbyes and Hellos**

His eyes were tense just like his body, but he let go of his statue like stance to put his hand on my shoulder. It was cold.

"Edward", I said again "I made up my mind…and I chose Jacob". Why did I say his name? That would only make it worse…and it did. I could see the hurt in his eyes. He removed his hand and penetrated his gaze into my eyes. He spoke.

"Are you positive this is what you want?" Why did he have to be so good about this. I deserved much worse. Meekly I said "yes".

Edward leaned in and kissed my forehead sending shivers down my neck and through my spine. I was in awe at his ability to make me feel like this. I had just ripped away all that we had and still I welcomed his touch. He clutched the crook of my neck and pulled me in. I didn't stop him. Our lips came so close that I could fell his ice cold breath tingling my nose.

It was like a moment of frozen solitude. As if I was meant to have chosen Edward, but I knew better. He slid his free hand onto the small of my back and motioned a circle with his finger.

God I wanted him, I wanted to choose him. I wanted to be capable of that. It could have been so easy but I had to make it so hard…like I did with everything.

Continuing the motion with his fingers he leaned further in, our lips slightly brushed against each other- then a cry came from the woods. It was Jacob, it was a wolf. I instantly stepped back. Edward retraced his thoughts and kissed my cheek.

" I will always love you Bella Swan", and he was gone, leaving me standing in a deserted road of wood.

Now the road didn't seem so long, in all reality it probably took me no more than fourteen steps to get to him. It was dark now and the wind started rustling the leaves. I was cold.

"Jacob get out of the woods, I can see you". He didn't come. It didn't feel right, why wasn't he there? I waited two minutes that felt like a lifetime. Then I ran.

The trees were a blur, my heart was pumping and suddenly my foot made contact with a rock. Tumbling to the dirt path I hit something hard, but instead of the ground it was a person.

"JACOB!" His face formed a smile verging on the side of cocky. Then he grinned.

"What took you so long". I was lost for words, how was he here when I'd swear I'd just seen him in the woods a few yards back. My mouth spoke without permission from my brain.

"Something…in the woods", I stumbled. His smile grew.

"That was just Seth"

"What!? Why?"

"He was looking out for you"

"You have other wolves watching me now!" If It we're possible his smile grew even more.

"I had to make sure you made the right choice". I smirked. I could beat him at this game.

"And what might that have been?"

"Me". He grabbed my hands and pulled my body as close to his as possible. The heat of his chest against mine made my heart skip a few beats. I could tell in his eyes that he could feel it. I blushed.

He smiled. "Are you nervous Bella?"

"No". I lied. I had only just made the most important decision of my life.

"Good". He moved in closer with a speedy fashion, his mouth attached to mine. His lips were so hot I could actually feel mine sweating against his. He slowly moved his tong against the corner of my lip then grazed his hand down my back sending shivers everywhere. Had I no control? Could I fall into something so easily?

The more he rolled his tong the hotter it got. Even with my eyes open all I saw was red. Our pulses had become one, working in synchronization. The heat was nice. Jacob slid his hand down past my hip and his lips moved to the crook of my neck. He grabbed the back of my knee and thrusted me against his body. I gasped in surprise, this was good.

Almost as quick as this happened it stopped. Jacob paused and took a step back.

"I swear I'll be right back" I was confused.

"Where are you going?"

"There might be a problem about a mile down the path, I just need to check it out. I'll be right back". I put my hand against his russet face and smiled.

"I understand. Wolfy business". He went to step closer to me, but second thought in hesitation turned and ran.

"Five minutes", he yelled. I stood there. I knew Seth wasn't just there to watch me, he was protecting me.

**…**

Two hours later Jacob was still gone and I was stranded in the woods. It was dark and I didn't have a sweater. The wind was growing stronger and my body started shivering uncontrollably. A blur formed about fifty yards down the path, I didn't even have time to be scared. Alice stopped in a graceful jerk.

"Alice!" She didn't wait a second to speak.

"Bella we need to go, quickly"

"…but what's happening, why is Jacob not back?"

"Jacob, what?…that doesn't matter, the problem is Edward!"

"Edward?" I shyly questioned. I knew of coarse that he must not have been having the best night. "What's wrong with Edward?" Her face became a sea of emotions. Sadness, regret, desperation then anger.

"He left to find the Volturi". I was in shock.

"Why would he do that!"

"Don't you know Bella, are you dumb? He's got nothing left here, he's gone and he has no plans of returning. His family, his life, he's left it all. And because of you!" My face turned a deep shade of red. I could feel it.

"But why…"

"Bella we have to go now!" With that Alice picked me up in one great wisp. However dainty she appeared to be the real strength could never have been guessed. She ran.


	3. Kitchen Counters and Accusations

Disclaimer: (I still own nothing. Stephenie Meyer is the genius)

_please review...i'd like to know how i'm doing. thanks._

**CHAPTER THREE**

**Kitchen Counters and Accusations**

Through the woods Alice ran. Branches skimmed my face and drew blood. I could feel it trickling down past my chin. My stomach was getting queasy, I still hadn't gotten quite use to the speed of a vampire.

The next thing I knew my feet hit the dirt. Alice stopped and led the way to the house without looking behind to see if I had followed. I ran to catch up.

"What's happening Alice?!"

I stepped in front of her, she walked past me without any effort and kept heading for the house.

"You'll find out when we're inside". I continued following. "Oh and Bella I'm mad at you".

I stopped in the path for a brief second, Alice had never been mad at me before. I couldn't even remember any time that I had even seen her slightly angered. I had to jog to catch up. Of coarse she was mad, I just left her brother and how he was missing because of me. Edward left to find the Volturi because I had broken his heart. Where he was heading could kill him and the blame was to fall on me.

We stopped at the door and Alice turned to me.

"They're mad too". She opened the door and walked in. I slowly tracked behind.

I walked into a circle of vampires. Every Cullen family member was present, staring at me with intense glares. I didn't know what to do, why did they want me? No matter how much I loved them and how much I had planed to join their family it didn't happen. I had to take a different path. I needed Jacob.

Esme walked up to me and put her hand on my shoulder right where Edward had just a few hours before. She knew that, I'm sure that's why she did it.

"Bella, we are not here to blame you tonight. The purpose of this meeting is for Edward, we need to go over a few things".

"Okay". That was my only response. I never had a good track record for thinking on an impulse. She continued.

"When he left did he say anything unusual, maybe confusing?"

"No"

"Are you sure Bella?" I could hear desperation in her tone.

"Yes, I'm sure"

"Okay". She seemed to have given up as she stepped back and Carlisle walked up to her side. He spoke.

"Bella did Edward act in an odd manner?" I thought to myself, how was a person suppose to act when their heart had just been ripped out? I was pretty sure Edward had taken it pretty well.

"No", I answered. Just then I noticed Jasper in the shadow of the staircase. He was tensing his hands. I put my hand to my cheek and instantly remembered the branches that had hit my face. Blood was trickling down my neck now. Carlisle came closer and examined my face.

"This looks deep Bella, how did you do this?" Without giving time to answer he grabbed my arm and lead me into the kitchen. As I went through the door I could see Jasper relax. "Get up on the counter", Carlisle ordered. I obeyed and as soon as I got up he had bandages up to my face. He wiped away the blood and hid the cuts with the bandages. "There you go, much better". He glided towards the door. "Bella you can stay in here for a few minutes while we discuss some things". The door swung shut behind him.

I was alone on the counter sitting like a frozen gargoyle. Since when had I not been involved in family discussions, especially those regarding Edward. Then I remembered Jacob. My mind had been in a different time. A time when I was trusted and loved by the Cullen family . When I was in love with their Edward, my Edward. That hadn't changed, I was still in love with him, my body still craved for his touch. But I was also in love with Jacob and I chose him. This would be a decision that I was going to have to live with. Then a new load of worry hit me, where was Jacob and why hadn't he returned within those five minutes? I felt panic coming.

"It's her fault!" I heard past the kitchen door, this sounded like Jasper. "If she hadn't done this then everything would be fine still"

"It's not her fault Jasper, he would have gone sooner or later" This was now Esme. "It was only a matter of time". Rosalie interrupted.

"He couldn't have gotten far, he only left a couple hours ago."

"No Edward's long gone, he's probably halfway there", interjected Alice, "besides he was determined, we all know there wouldn't have been much we could have done if he had only been five minutes ahead let alone two hours".

I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to get off the counter and walked towards the door. When I walked through they all stopped arguing immediately. I froze.

"Yes Bella?" asked Esme. Why the hell did I get myself into this, what could I possibly say to them to make things better. Nothing. But I had to say something.

"I um…wanted to say that I made a mistake". Alice jumped from the couch and stood tall, well as tall as she could.

"Damn right you made a mistake. This is your fault. I love you Bella, but right now I really hate you". It hurt, but I deserved it.

"I didn't mean to cause this whole mess. I just-" my eyes started streaming, "I just had to choose one. I had to pick". Jasper left the room and with him he took the calming aurora. Rosalie and Emmett closely followed behind, but she didn't leave without sending me a harsh glare. Normally this didn't effect me so but all I could do was blubber. This time I actually deserved her attitude. Emmett sent me a look of clemency. At least he didn't hate me.

"I'm so sorry. I love him. I love Edward, but I love Jacob too". I turned to Alice for justification. "I couldn't just stay in the middle, I had to pick". She frowned and left the house. I was left standing by the kitchen door when Esme walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. She kissed my head.

"Sweet Bella, it's not your fault. Edward chose to leave. The blame is on him and him only".

I mumbled. "I just feel so…bad". She walked me across the living room and continued up the stairs and down the hall. She was taking me to Edward's room. I stopped.

"I can't go in there!"

"Bella you need to rest, you haven't slept in days".

I repeated. "I can't go in there"

"Bella you must, you need to sleep and there is an empty bed". She lead me in the room and tucked me in the over-sized bed. The one that Edward had gotten for me. I felt like a child. "Rest well Bella, the day has been long". And with that she left the room.

Against my will I succumbed to sleep.

An hour or more passed and I woke. I couldn't stay in the bed. That was Edward's bed, how could I even consider sleeping in it! I grabbed a pillow and a throw blanket and moved to the couch. Next thing I knew everything was dark, I fell out of consciousness instantaneously.


	4. Through My Bedroom Window

Disclaimer: (Sorry, still no ownage. Stephenie Meyer did it first)

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**Through My Bedroom Window**

I woke up in my bed. At some point last night one of the Cullen's must have shipped me over. I peered at my alarm clock and it read eight-thirty-four. Then I looked out the window only to see a dark sky. I must have been tired. Calculating the math in my head I figured I was nineteen hours worth of tired. I just laid there.

From the living room I could hear the t.v., Charlie must have come home early. It sounded like football but I couldn't be sure. Slowly I made my way across my room and headed towards the door. My feet were bare and the floor was cold. Why did they take off my socks? I pushed my question back and opened the door.

I found myself in the shower with the water running hot. I felt like I could have stayed there forever with the cleansing water washing over me, it took my worry away. With a simple turn of the knob the water stopped and my mind was put back in order. There was just so many things going on I wouldn't have been surprised if I went into a catatonic state, but instead I was just confused. I wrapped a towel around my body and started towards my bedroom.

"Bella?" Charlie stopped at the top stair. "I didn't see you come in". I took a deep breath.

"I came in last night". Hopefully he hadn't checked on my room like I knew he probably did. He questioned my answer with a stern face, but apparently he decided to leave it at that.

"Are you making dinner tonight?" He asked.

"No, I don't feel very good. I think I'm gonna lay down for the night. I moved through my door and added, "I'll see you tomorrow". I shut the door and waited. He stood for a moment outside my door then retreated down the stairs back to his game.

I breathed in deep and suspiciously glanced at my window half expecting to see Edward climbing through, but all I saw was the cool night air. He wouldn't be coming through there anymore and I decided that, not him. I trampled over towards my bed and fell into a heap of blankets. I didn't remember leaving my room in it's current condition but I didn't bother to care. I just wanted to close my eyes.

…

It was two am when I woke up. Something was scratching at my window. In my just woken state I stumbled over to see what it was. It was pretty dark so I couldn't quite make out the figure. When my eye's finally adjusted I quickly pushed open the window.

"JACOB!"

He smiled and crawled through the opening, taking a hold of my waist as soon as his feet hit the floor he pressed his warm lips against my neck and slowly slid down to my shoulder. There he kissed me. I almost succumbed to this, but then remembered his absence for the past day and a half. I pushed him away.

"You said five minutes". His grin grew.

"I know, but I was in dog mode"

"I don't care Jacob. You said five minutes and you've just returned almost two days later!" His grin turned into a serious expression, his lips pursed.

"Bella I was just watching out for you". I pouted.

"Well I hate it" His smile returned.

"I do to". He pushed his hand into mine and pulled me across the room. Somehow he managed not to stumble over the heap of cloths in our path. "Bella I really missed you". He sat on the bed as I stood in front of him. He pulled me in closer and propped my legs against his waist. I loved it when he did this. I unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it to the side.

"Jacob Black since when do you were shirts?" I asked in a mockingly tone. He grinned.

"Since you've asked me to". I smiled.

"That was before I started sitting with you like this". I grabbed his hands and placed them behind my neck. I could feel his pulse. "And besides aren't we past shirts now?" He grinned and ventured his lips to mine. We kept the motion for a while then I used my weight to push him into the heap of blankets. Somehow I accomplished this task. I looked down on him and his eyes were black, blacker than I'd ever seen them before. He seemed to have noticed my discovery by placing his hand to his eye.

"Jacob, your eyes?" He tried to look away.

"I know"

"Why are they so dark?" He looked straight at me.

"You"

"Me?" What was he talking about, how could I cause his eyes turning black?

"I don't know for sure, but when I'm around you my eyes kind of go black. Like I'm seeing something else. They burn". He placed his hand on my cheek. "And unless I'm touching you it feels like they'll…burst". I couldn't believe what I was hearing, this situation seemed so familiar. Instead of thinking further I leaned in and kissed him. Jacob took a hold of my back and thrusted me towards him. His arms were strong and his body heated. He slipped his right hand up to my neck and continued to my hair. I copied and started twisting his dark locks with my fingers.

The kisses turned into a blur and the heat was amazing. I slid my leg along his, my knee meeting his hip. Why hadn't he ravaged me yet, we were closer then ever before. I proceeded with my other knee only for him to surprise me by taking a hold of my hips. With this he flipped me into the blankets and heavily breathed over me. His hands went to work brushing up and down my sides. He took control of my neck smothering it with heated kisses. I maneuvered my hands towards his belt and slowly unbuckled it notch by notch. He thrusted deeper and slid his hand along my shirt. I unzipped his pants and tried to move my leg slightly, but failed.

His knees were like iron barriers keeping my legs buckled. I looked up and he seemed like a castle overpowering me. His lips ventured to the back of my ear and continued their fiery kisses. I moaned, almost uncontrollably I let it out again. Jacob stopped and looked at me. He smiled. My eyes met his and I fastened my hands to the rim of his jeans. He interjected and took my hands holding them hostage over my head. He smile widened. Embarrassingly my panting grew.

"What exactly are you doing Ms. Swan?" I smiled and answered.

"You know what I'm doing Jacob". I freed my hands only for him to fasten his grip. Why was he doing this? "Jacob I'm gonna need my hands!" He laughed. Then he laid his body over mine and kissed my parted lips, leaning back slightly just enough to make me want more. His breathing deepened. I felt his body tense. At first I thought he was joking until I realized that he really wasn't going to loosen his grip.

"Jacob what's going on?" He hesitated.

"Bella I…I can't do what I'm pretty sure you want to do". I gave him a scowl.

"And why exactly not!"

"It's complicated"

"No it's actually pretty simple, you see when a girl and a boy-" He interrupted.

"Bell I'm not exactly a boy. I'm a werewolf and when I get really into something I tend to change into one". I was in shock, he continued. "Do you have any idea how much restraint it took me just to kiss you?" I didn't. "It's hard Bella". His arms loosened and he backed off the bed and stood in front of me. "I really want this Bella, but just not now. Believe me it's on my agenda to figure out". I let out a deep sigh.

"I guess it's okay", and I smiled. " I will wait for you Jacob Black. Forever and ever"

"Good, because Bella I really want this. I just need a little time". With this he headed towards the window putting one leg out. "I need to go now, but I _will_ be back in the morning". Why was he leaving me? I had to see him again…sooner than later.

"I have to go into town at nine, but I can head to La Push after". He grinned at me.

"I'll see you then Bella". He kissed my hand and disappeared through the window. I was alone again.

Slumping over to my bed I realized something. This always happens to me! No matter the guy I never got past second base. Realizing now that I must have looked less then desirable from my twenty two hour nap maybe I needed to change my attitude or give my hair a touch up. I certainly knew how to attract the guys. Giving up on my inner rant I pulled up a blanket and drifted into sleep.

I had to visit town in the morning.


	5. A Bad Dream

Disclaimer: (I wish Jacob was a boy of my imagination, but for reals guys Stephenie Meyer had him first)

_sorry this may be a little intense...but it will all be explained later. i promise._

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**A Bad Dream**

_The light was flashing through my wind shield. Green. Yellow. Red. I just sat there watching it. The rain was getting heavier blurring my vision. A flash of red went by. It came closer and closer until it stopped. The flash was Edward, but he wasn't red at all. In fact he was in his usual attire. It was his eyes that sent the flash. Red as fire. _

_He stopped and stood with his hands rested on the hood of my truck. His eyes were so…penetrating. I slammed my foot on the accelerator and … _

…

It was seven thirty, my alarm had fifteen minutes left before it was set to wake me. I turned to face my window. It was raining.

After getting ready to hit town I headed down the stairs and grabbed my keys. The cruisers set was already missing so Charlie must have left to work early. I continued my way out into the rain, I didn't even think to grab a rain coat so by now my hair was sticking to my face. I probably looked like something out of a horror movie. I pried the door open to my truck and climbed in starting my engine as quick as possible. Before I hit the gas I remembered my dream. Why would Edward let me run him over? I decided to forget it and headed down the road. I was going to need to stop in the grocery store, the house was running low on supplies. After that I could get to where I really wanted to be. La Push. Jacob.

It took a little longer than I'd expected it to, but it was still morning and I was driving through the woods of my favorite little town. It was uncanny how much this place felt like home to me. My heart was here. My future was here. My trucked bumped it's way up to Billy and Jacob's house, if they weren't awake before then they definitely would be now.

The path to the front door wasn't very long, but Billy still beat me to it. The door opened and there he was, smiling in his wheelchair.

"BELLA! Welcome, welcome". He waved his hands persuading me to come in. I peeked through my curtain of wet hair.

"Hi Billy"

"It's been a long time Bella, what was it two months since you've come to visit me?" By me he clearly meant Jacob, his smile gave that off. I chose to ignore his inability to be subtle.

"Yeah time certainly flies". That was a lie, the past few months had been hell and felt like forever. I was stuck in the middle of a Jacob-Bella-Edward love triangle. Try saying that three times fast.

"So Billy, is Jacob in?" His smile mimicked Jacob's trademark expression.

"He sure is, right in his room. I haven't heard any noise coming from there yet so he's probably still sleeping". I walked past him and started for his room.

"Thanks Billy". Squeaking open his door I saw that Billy told it right, he was sleeping. I kicked off my shoes and climbed into his bed. Whenever Jacob slept he transformed into the shy lovable friend I knew. The one I met on the beach. Awake he was close to the same aside for two exceptions. One he certainly wasn't shy anymore and second, his eyes. Just looking at them you could see the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was interesting to depict the differences between the two. I loved them both.

Placing my head on his chest I could feel the rhythmic beat of his heart. His skin was so hot, it seemed like that all the time. Poor guy probably bathed in ice. I snorted at the image. I slid my arm around his and maneuvered my leg against his leg. His breathing was steady and hot and I was in complete comfort. Almost slipping off to sleep I started to hear a beating. It was Jacob, his heart rate was easily increased by two from when I first came in. I turned my head to look up. He was smiling.

"Bella"

"Yes?" He wrapped his gigantic arms around me.

"You are one sneaky little devil"

"No, you're just the champion of deep sleepers". He laughed.

"Either way", he paused and kissed my forehead. "I like it". His hair was overflowing past his eyes. I pushed the stray locks to the side.

"Jacob?" His eyes questioned my tone.

"Yes?"

"I have to tell you something". His smile faded and was quickly replaced with a serious expression.

"What is it Bells?"

"When I told Edward about us he took it…well he took it pretty well"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well the problem is, he's gone missing. The Cullen's think he's headed to Europe". He smiled.

"Business or pleasure?" I smacked his chest.

"Jacob! This is serious, Edward is going to see the Volturi!" His smile lessened.

"Bella what does this have to do with you? Your with me now". My voice dropped.

"You know how it is"

"No I really don't". My voice turned to a whisper.

"Don't be like this Jacob". I took my hand out of his only for him to take a hold of it again.

"Jacob can I have my hand back". I felt distant to him.

"No"

"Jacob please can I have it back!"

"No Bella". He nuzzled his nose against mine and spoke. "I love you Bella…and you love me. So your hand is my hand". He smiled. I had no idea what he was playing at.

"Then what hand is mine?" He lifted his hand.

"Mine". I put my hand against his and held it there.

"Jacob, why was Seth watching me?" He dropped his hand and sulked.

"I told you"

"No really, why was he there?" He started to turn from me.

"Bella, I really don't want to talk about this"

"Jacob…please". He sat up and leaned against me letting out a deep breath.

"Sam noticed something a few nights back…a smell. It was a new sent that we hadn't come across before, or at least for the past few generations". He laid his head against my neck and continued. "The basics is…there is a new, well old I guess, pack of wolves. They aren't good and I'm kind of on their hit list". He peered into my eyes looking for understanding. Some kind of hope that I knew what he was talking about. What it meant.

"Hit list?"

"This is a pack from long ago, goes back since before ours. Apparently they had a falling out with our pack and a large number of theirs were lost in it". He took a second to let that settle in. "Now they've had a few years to up their numbers and they've been planning". Innocently I had to ask.

"But why would this involve me?" His face seemed desperate.

"Can't you see Bella? They'd do anything to get to me. Weather it's Billy or even you". He closed his eyes and put his hands up to my cheek. "And I couldn't live with that".

We sat in silence.

"So what do we do?" Jacob sat up.

"What do you mean _we_? This will not involve you. I won't let it"

"Jacob I'm already involved". I took his hand. He shook his out of my grasp.

"No Bella, I can't let you be in this". He got off the bed and started digging through a pile of discarded clothing. He slipped a shirt on. "Besides it won't come to that. We've tracked the sent and we're gonna find them first". I got off the bed and started for the door. He quickly stood in my path. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going home Jacob. You clearly don't need me". With this he leaned his forehead against mine and whispered.

"I always need you Bella". I interjected.

"Then why do you push me away?" He nuzzled his face into my hair.

"It's dangerous". I smiled.

"I like dangerous". His grin grew.

"Do you?" He placed his hand against my back and pulled me to him. He was so hot. Then he kissed me. Gentle at first then it became as if it was more of a need. His lips became greedy pulling at mine. This was odd, since when did Jacob act like this? Usually he was happy enough just to be holding me, let alone having his way. I couldn't stop myself. Soon my hands found their way to his neck pulling him closer.

"Oh Bella", he gasped. He propped me up against his waist and started for the bed. Dropping me on it he quickly made his way on top of me. Moving from my mouth he ventured to my neck. I felt his teeth against my skin. It hurt, but it wasn't too bad so as to stop him. His hands above my head now sketched my body, sending shivers with their trail. His left hand slipped to his jeans and I heard a zip. Was he really doing this! Did he actually think now was the time? I looked up into his eyes and they were totally black. He was facing me but it was like he wasn't even looking. His body started pushing against mine back and forth. I let out a cry-

"Jacob!" His breathing started getting heavier and his body more eager. He placed his hands on the rim of my jeans and undid the button. What was he thinking?! I cried out again.

"JACOB STOP!" Still he ignored. Finally I pushed him away with my arms using all the force I had. He sat up and looked at me, apparently my reaction had made some sort of dent in his decision. His eye's were so dark. He went to lean back in…I'd had enough so I punched him square in the jaw, probably breaking something in the action. Not his jaw but my hand cracked. Instantly his eyes faded back to their normal chocolaty brown. His expression was confused.

"Bella?" His brows smoldered together in concentration.

"What was that Jacob?!" Realization hit him, he stood up off the bed and zipped up his jeans.

"I'm not sure…" His voice grew. "Why did you let me do that!" This took me by shock. Why was _he_ mad at me? What did I do? He continued. " Bella I told you I wasn't ready". Instantly I felt like I was shrinking. He was a hawk and I was the helpless mouse.

"…but I didn't do anything". He trampled to the door and held it open.

"I think you should leave Bella". I sat there in disbelief. Why was he acting like this?

"I think I should too!" I got off the bed and stormed past him. He grabbed my arm.

"Bella-". I Interrupted.

"Goodbye Jacob". I heading down the short hallway storming right past Billy and looked back as I stepped through the door. Standing in his doorway his face was torn. It looked like I just ripped his heart out. I shut the door and left La Push.


	6. Attention All Personnel

Disclaimer: (I do not own Bella, Jacob, Charlie or Jessica...or even MASH)

_hey guys...leave me some reviews. oh and don't worry, jacob will return. he's cute like that_

**CHAPTER SIX**

**Attention All Personnel**

When I got home I went straight to bed. I didn't change my cloths or brush my teeth. I just hit the pillows and cried.

…

When I woke up I took a shower and dressed for the day. I walked into the kitchen and started to pour a bowl of cereal. Charlie walked in from the sofa.

"Bells, you've got a message". I squished a foot loop with my spoon, why did they have to be so…colorful.

I mumbled. "Well that didn't take long". Jacob was already calling with his apologies. "What did he say?" Charlie paused for moment to take me in. I was mumbling. I hadn't brushed my hair. And I most likely gave of a gray atmosphere. Down right depressing.

"_She_ wanted to know if you'd like to go over to her house today"

"She?"

"Jessica, your friend from school."

"Oh…okay". I continued squishing.

"So are you going?" It would have been too nice if he had left it at that. But I guess I couldn't blame him, he was my father. He was warranted to his concerns.

"Well I have some things to do, but I guess I could pop by-". His whole face brightened up. For some reason he loved it when I socialized.

"Good Bells, I know she'd love to see ya".

"Yeah…wait did she say when?"

"Around eleven. Something like that". He retreated back to the couch. It was about nine now so I had some time to kill. I sat down and watched the game with Charlie. I suppose watched wasn't the right word, I kind of just looked. Then it hit me…the last time I did this was with Edward.

…

I stood on the sidewalk staring at Jessica's front door. Why was I doing this? Did I really want to see her? Did I really want to listen to her frivolous talk? No I did not.

"I'm so glad you could make it Bella, I feel like I haven't seen you in years!" I walked through the door.

"Yeah, it has been a long time-"

"Really Bella, it's nice to see you". Her face was all in smiles. I could only assume she had some news for me. "Come in, lets go up to my room". She ran up the stairs while I slothed behind. She pulled out a stool for me to sit on then hopped on her bed. Way too much spunk then I needed to see.

"Bella?" Here it came.

"Yeah?"

"Is something bothering you? Sorry but you kind of look in the dumps". I guess I wasn't looking my happiest.

"No Jessica, I'm fine". She seemed convinced or at least distracted enough not to care. Either way it didn't matter to me.

"Good….cause Bella I have some totally awesome news!" I knew this was coming. "Mike isn't moving to California, he's picking a school in Portland!" I wasn't sure how this was suppose to effect me so I just smiled.

"That's really cool Jessica, but what does this mean for you?" She was basically standing on her bed in excitement.

"I'm not moving to Michigan! I got into a Portland school too! Now me and Mike can officially be together!"

"But you guys aren't together?" She lowered on the bed.

"Yeah, but we could be. I mean now that we'll be going to the same university"

"Oh". She paused and didn't say anything.

"You know Bella you could be more excited for me". Why would I be excited? There wasn't anything for me to be happy for anymore. Edward was gone. Jacob was…different and I was alone. I let it out.

"Well…I'm not having the best week! Edward left town and I'm pretty sure he's not coming back!" Why did I just say that? Her face dropped.

"Wow Bella…that's really crappy. Why did he leave?"

"Because he had no reason to stay"

"Bella, of coarse he had a reason…he's got…". Then her face turned into a frown. "Did he dump you?"

"No, Edward would never do that"

"Then what happened?"

"I left him for Jacob". CRAP! Why was I telling her this stuff. It was like my mouth didn't know when to shut up. Next thing you'd know I'd be telling her I was in love with a werewolf and a vampire.

"Bella you and Edward broke up! But it seemed like you two would get married". I mumbled.

"It seemed…". She continued talking.

"And I've been rambling on about nothing!" We sat in silence for about fifteen seconds. "Wait! Jacob! Jacob Black! I backed up a few inches. "Bella you and Jacob Black are together?!". I tried to make my face convincing.

"Yes"

"But he's so…rebel like". Clearly she didn't approve. "I love it! You guys could totally click!" I didn't expect this reaction. "Bella he could be totally good for you". I couldn't take it anymore. I had to come up with some sort of excuse to get out of there. This is all I had.

"Jessica I'm really sorry but I actually need to be going. I promised Charlie…err my dad that I'd hang with him for the next few days". That didn't sound right, I needed more. "But thanks for the break". That sounded good.

"Oh too bad Bella, I really wanted to do some college planning. But if you need to go then you need to go"

"Thanks Jessica". I headed for the door. She popped her head around the hallway.

"Say hi to Jacob for me!" I put on a fake smile.

"I will!" If I ever saw him again.

I started walking along the sidewalk towards my house, it was a pretty hot day so I tried to stay in the shade of the trees. Not many cars were going by so I decided to walk the yellow lines in the middle of the road. There was more shade there. As I was nearing my house I heard a speeding vehicle. A truck. It zoomed by me hitting the brake. The driver stuck his head out his window and looked at me. I didn't like it, it was as if he was identifying me. The truck speed off and left me in the dust. Who was that? The face seemed so familiar. Now I walked with a bit more speed then probably necessary. I wanted to get home and I wanted to get there fast. Without Edward or Jacob looking out for me I was more likely to be in a lot more danger then usual. Staying home would probably be my best chance of staying in one piece. I guess I would really be hanging with Charlie for the next few days.

I got home and plopped myself on the couch. Charlie wasn't home yet. I noticed a large pile of mail with my name on it so I snatched it and decided to finally fulfill the task of opening them. First was a letter from the University of Alaska asking for financial information. A nice reminder of my past plans. Then a piece of town mail advertising for some new garbage pick up service. Which is where those plans had gone, the garbage. After that I opened my bank statement. Same old same old. Then there was a letter not addressed. I opened it. It read:

_Charlie, I really enjoyed last night. The dinner was great. Who knew you were such a mac-and-cheese expert? I just wanted…_ect. I was at a blank. Was my dad dating? Then the door opened and he walked in.

"Hey Bells". I didn't think to drop the letter.

"Hey Dad"

"Your home kind of early. Was Jessica's fun?"

"Oh it was fine". He walked across the room and noticed the paper in my hand.

"I see you finally came around to opening your mail". He fiddled through his pile, pushing back the bills and town flyers. "It's about time, the pile was getting pretty big". I held out the letter.

"I think this is yours". He took it and started reading.

"Bella-". I cut him off.

"Are you dating Dad?" His face made a kind of half smile as if he was unsure of what to say next.

"Well yes Bella, I am". I smiled. I figured I owed him that.

"That's really cool Dad". He lost the smile.

"Really?"

"Yeah". This was so awkward, but I kept a happy face for his sake. It really was good that he'd do this. To get over Renee. Mom.

"Well thanks Bells". He took the letter and left to his room. I guess that was that.

…

The next two days were basically filled with nothingness. Charlie was never home and there was still no news of Jacob. You would think I'd be in worry mode but instead I pushed it all back. I wasn't going to freak out anymore. But I still had to ask myself why Jacob was doing this to me? He'd left town and Billy wasn't any help. He didn't know where he went and he didn't seem to care. So my only assumption is wolf business, something he didn't want me to know. Or wasn't allowed to let me know. I hated the whole alpha dog thing Jake had with his pack. Having to bend to Sam's every will just didn't set with me and I couldn't understand how it set with Jake. Stupid werewolf rules. So the past few days have been just me, hanging out with myself. Really not the most reliable company. I thought too much when no one was there to distract me. Jessica invited me over yesterday, but I knew all she'd want to do would be to talk about Jake. And I just wasn't up for that. Besides apparently there wasn't anything to talk about so there wouldn't have been a point. So I declined and used backed up laundry as my excuse and it wasn't entirely a lie. I really did need to start on my washing. So that's what I'm doing now. Dumping some tide into the washing machine. Isn't my life interesting.

Charlie didn't come home until well past nine that night. I had made him dinner and set the table but he didn't show. I waited a good twenty minutes for him until I gave up and retreated up to my room. I now had some idea on how it felt for a parent when their kid ditched out on them at dinner. It felt lousy.

I went to bed early.

The next day I spent my time watching old re-runs of MASH. It was a good eight hour marathon and I watched it all. So much for my week with Charlie, he seemed to have better things to do. Clearly I didn't. After two hours into the marathon I started talking to the t.v., reciting the lines with the actors. I obviously needed to get out of the house. Knowing the script of a MASH episode couldn't be a good thing. Unfortunately for me Jessica stopped calling me to come over, this is probably due to my constant denials. Besides I really didn't feel like running into anymore mysterious people in trucks. So I'd officially ran out of people to hang out with. I'd become a loner. A hermit in my own house. Was there really any other kind of hermit? Who cared, I didn't. I was one and that was that. I put on my slippers, grabbed my bag of potato chips and headed for my room. Eight hours of MASH could take a lot out of someone. I was going to need some sleep if I was going to make it through the second part of the marathon tomorrow.


	7. The Problem with Milk

Disclaimer: (It's occured to me that I wish I was Stephenie Meyer, but I'm not so I guess all these charactors belong to her)

_it's been a while, but i think you guys will like the next two chapters. they're my favorite so far._

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**The Problem with Milk**

"BELLA!" I rolled around in my bed. "BELLA!" Who was yelling at me? It had to have been no more than six in the morning. "BELLA!" Errr…I gave in and opened my eyes.

"WHAT!" I heard footsteps coming up the stairs followed by a knock on my door.

"Bella?" He cracked the door and stuck his head in. Charlie was acting surprisingly shy for someone who was just yelling my name.

"Yeah Dad?" He stepped in, creaking the floorboards as he did.

"We're out of milk…oh you're still sleeping". _Clearly_.

"Couldn't you have written me a note or something?" He frowned in embarrassment.

"I just figured you'd be up by now. I mean it's already noon". What! Noon. Man did I know how to sleep. I guess MASH took more out of me than I thought.

"…oh. I thought it was earlier. Yeah I can get some milk"

"I'd get it myself but there's just too much work at the station this week. Sorry Bells"

"It's fine Dad. The milk will be in the fridge when you get home". I finished with a smile. He walked back out the door.

"Thanks Bells".

When the door shut I pulled the covers over my head making a tent. I could see hints of the afternoon sun shining through my window, escaping through the worn spots on my blanket. Lately I'd been feeling like my blanket. Worn. Hopefully someday the sun would leak through me and I'd be happier. Why did the weather have to be so contradictive to my emotions? It's been bright and sunny the past four days. Whoever controls the weather up there could at least throw me a rain cloud once in a while. Jeez what more could a girl ask for? Pushing my tent down I freed my face to take in the sun at full exposure. Apparently I had errands to do.

…

Once I got to the store I'd totally forgotten what I was there for. Was it bagels? Maybe bacon? Why was I being sent on such a lame excuse for an errand? I clearly hadn't given Charlie as much credit as he deserved. He knew when I needed to get out of the house and he probably knew that I wouldn't have done it without some motivation. Milk being the motivation. MILK! That was what I was here for. Remembering this I quickly backed up to the dairy isle and took hostage a jug of two percent. That's right milk jug…you're coming home with me. Forced to sit beside last nights failed dinner and the half scorched ham steak Charlie tried to cook when he got home. If I was going to suffer so were my dairy products. Oh no…the hermit life was getting to me. I was loosing my mind. An image of a crazy haggled old woman came into my mind. Fifteen cats purring at her feet. Oddly the image seemed comforting. That was not a good sign. Then I saw him staring at me from the boxed meals section. Holding a gawky grin on his face that emphasized each individual tooth. Mike Newton.

"Hi Bella!" He started for me. I hugged my milk jug against it's will. How the hell was I going to get out of this one?! Clearly he saw me. I mean he waved and was now walking straight towards me, either that or he held a large fondness for milk and hadn't seen it in a while. "Bella! I haven't seen you in ages. You never came to my graduation party". Crap. I apparently was going to have to come up with an excuse for that.

"Well my mother kind of wanted me to visit her before I left to college. So I went up there last week". Good for you Bella. Lie about your own mother. His eyes grew even more delighted.

"Oh that's great. I thought you'd just blown me off for that Edward guy". I was just loving these reminders.

"Nope"

"Well it's really lucky for you that I saw you here. There's a party tonight down at the beach. Bomb fire and everything". Lucky? It hit me then. Charlie must have known Mike would ask me to the party. That was why he'd sent me out for milk.

"That's nice"

"I was thinking I'd invite you". Oh no…this wasn't good. Did Mike Newton really believe he had a chance. This had gone on for years now. How thick could someone be? He apparently noticed the face I was making when he quickly finished his question. "You know…as friends". Lovely. An as friends invite. I knew he was still thinking otherwise. Lucky for me I had a plan.

"That sounds great Mike. But I'd need to bring a friend". His grin dropped.

"Edward or Jacob?"

"Jessica!" With that his grin came back with more brawn then before.

"Oh sure. That would work. So when do you want me to pick you up?"

"I was thinking I'd drive myself. And I'd pick Jessica up on the way. I could give you a ride too if you wanted". He seemed to have liked this plan because he stopped looking at his boss to make sure he hadn't noticed his delay in stacking shelves.

"Yeah that would be great! The party starts at nine, so how about you grab me at eight thirty then we'll get Jessica". Nice try Mike Newton. Squeezing in some alone time before the party.

"Actually Jessica is on the way to your house so I'm gonna pick her up first. I'll see you at quarter to nine though". He gave up and agreed. Then his boss finally noticed his lack in work and sent us a disapproving glare. Mike saw this and started back for his shelf.

"I'll see you later Bella!" I went straight for the check out and hurried to my truck as quick as possible. I wasn't taking any chances of running into anyone else today. When I got home I promptly stuck the milk in the fridge noticing the half full jug of milk already there. Oh Charlie was gonna get payback for this!

…

I called Jessica and she was more then eager to go. She even thanked me for setting up the opportunity for her and Mike. Several times. When I went to pick her up she practically bounced down the walkway and hopped into my truck. How did she get the door open so easily? I couldn't even crack it without effort. It must have been her determination to get to Mike. Frankly I couldn't see what she saw in him. He was…well he was normal. I guess it wasn't fair to compare him since my previous boyfriends had been…well not normal, but I couldn't help myself. Jacob and Edward certainly rose the bar. Jessica was buckled now.

"Hey Bella!" I shifted the truck.

"Hi Jessica"

"If I didn't say it enough then I'm telling you now. You're a god. You heard me talking about Mike and even with your…err situation you still kept me in mind". I really hated it when people were overly grateful. Besides I didn't do it for her. There was no way I would have gone with Mike Newton alone.

"It was nothing. I figured it would be fun". Fun? I snorted at that. Nothing was ever fun anymore.

"Well it was really nice of you". She babbled on like that until we picked up Mike. He seemed dejected when Jessica scooted to the middle seat leaving him by the window. But that didn't stop him from leaning over her to peer at me.

"Bella this is gonna be fun, isn't it. Much better now that you'll be there". I could turn that on him.

"Nah, the real party goer is Jessica. She'll be the one to stand by". He slumped back into his seat.

"Yeah. Hey Jessica did you like your graduation gift?" Her eyes twinkled at this.

"I loved it!" He seemed content with this. "I can't wait to use the stationary at college. It really was a thoughtful gift". Then he realized that he didn't get me anything. His face dropped.

"Bella I'm sorry I didn't get you a gift. I only got invited to your party at last minute. Otherwise-". I cut him off.

"It's okay Mike. I didn't get you anything". He still seemed bummed. "So where is this party anyway?"

"La Push. Down where we went last time". My heart skipped a beat. La Push. I could do this. I could make it through the night. Maybe.

When we got there we all piled out of the truck and gathered our blankets. There was a short path we would have to follow to get to the beach, but it wouldn't be that bad. At least for those gifted with balance. I would probably accumulate a few bumps and bruises. Jessica had Mike a few strides ahead leaving me to the back. I didn't mind this, at least I didn't have to listen to her chatter. With this thought I caught my shoe against my other shoe locking the laces together. Then I fell. It was inevitable, but all the same I came up looking like I'd just rolled in the dirt. I brushed my jeans off and speed up to keep Jessica and Mike within my sight. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of red. It was just quick enough to slip out of my vision, but I'd seen it's trail. Deciding it must have been some kid with a cigarette I kept walking. The opening through the trees showed the bomb fire. It looked pretty. As if the beach had caught fire. I suppose that's a little odd to see that as pretty, but it really was. I laid down my blanket and sat down. Mike had forgotten his but Jessica was more than happy to share hers. Some people walked around in groups while others secluded themselves in twos. Me, I was in a group of one. Not the most conversational group. I'm kind of happy is wasn't, if it had been then there would have been something else to worry about. Like weather I'd prefer white padded walls or purple.

Staring at the fire I realized that this probably wasn't a good idea. To come into Jake's woods and lay on his beach was just another painful reminder of his absence. It really did hurt. I closed my eyes and tried to image nothing. Instead all I could see was the fire filling my eyelids. Blinding my every thought. I was getting sick of the unhealthy reminders of Jacob. If he was going to act like this and leave me alone to question my every move then he could have at least told me why. Then I wouldn't have to blame myself. What a jerk. I turned around and laid on my back facing the stars. I wondered what Edward was doing right then. Was he okay? Did he hurt? Would I ever see him again? I shut my eyes and tried again to remember nothingness.


	8. The Volturi

Disclaimer: (I OWN IT ALL! Don't I wish that was true...it's all Stephenie Meyer's)

_woo-hoo...edwards point of view. enjoy. pleeeeease leave reviews._

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**The Volturi**

I opened my eyes and saw her. I closed my eyes and saw her. When I ran the blur around me formed into her face. Wherever I went, whoever I was with I saw her. The burn in my chest was becoming a reminder. I was a vampire, I wasn't suppose to feel anything, yet whenever I saw her it hurt. Physically I was in pain. Even now that I had come to Europe and accepted my invitation to the Volturi I still felt the burn. It was all a lie. A cheap trick to add me to his team of "gifted ones" as he called us. Aro knew drinking human blood wouldn't cure me. Deep down I probably knew that too, but I'd wanted it. Now their blood sang to me. Lured me to their warm necks. I could hear the pumping in my ears and I liked it.

…

Two weeks ago…

She was walking slowly towards me. This was not a good sign. I told her that I wouldn't stay in the way of her choice, but I never figured she would have actually picked the dog. Would she? Why was she walking so slow?

"Edward, there's something I need to tell you". Oh no. My jaw locked and my body tensed. I was not letting this happen. How could _she_ let this happen? I extended my arm and placed my hand on her shoulder. It was warm.

"Edward", she said again. "I made up my mind…and I chose Jacob". What! I was in disbelief yet I kept my calm. Could she really be doing this? Could she really pick…Jacob. The name felt like fire in my ears. Images of him holding her ran through my mind. I took my hand off her shoulder. I was going to have to let her go. I had to.

"Are you positive this is what you want?" I had to ask. Maybe there was some hope she would say no and that she really wanted me. That this was some sort of cruel joke. What was I kidding myself, Bella didn't make cruel jokes. She looked into my eyes and answered.

"Yes". I felt a burn in my chest. She was leaving me and I was letting her! If this was going to be the last time I'd see her then I was going to make it good. I bent my head down and kissed her forehead. My nose filled with her sweet sent, intoxicating my every being. In that moment I took a hold of her neck and pulled her to me. She seemed willing so I leaned in for the kiss. My free hand slid down to her back. Her skin was so familiar to me now. Soft and warm. Sensual. I traced her skin with my fingers. She limped into my arms and seemed almost lost in the moment. Like I was. Our lips met by a fraction of an inch when the noise came. Coming from the woods howled the reminder of my loss. I had lost Bella and now the dog was claiming his prize. He didn't deserve her love. Nobody could feel for her like I did. She made me feel almost human when I was with her and there was no other love to compare to my gratitude. She brought me to life. I took a step back breaking the hold I was all too accustomed to. I had to do this for her, because I loved her I had to do this. I kissed her cheek.

"I will always love you Bella Swan". Then I was gone. The taste of her breath lingering on my lips. I ran as far as possible before I stopped. Digging my foot into the earth I turned back facing the clearing in which she had stood. I thought about going back, but I didn't. I would suffer for her. I would be alone for Bella. I closed my eyes and ran.

…

Present day…

When I think about her I thrist. Sometimes I imagine myself on top of her sinking my teeth into her neck. It scares me. Could I actually do that? Could I really kill the one I loved? Questions swarmed within my head and the only person who could help was hundreds of miles away. Carlisle would have known what to do. But I couldn't go back. Joining the Volturi and killing innocent humans was going just too far. He would have expected more of me. I would have expected more of me. Then I heard someone. Thinking.

_Oh please Edward. Grow up and move on_. I was going to kill her. The door to my room opened and she swept in as if she owned the place.

"Go away Jane". She pouted and continued closing the distance between the door and my chair.

"Why do you have to be like that Edward? You know I only look out for you". I put down my book.

"Jane you couldn't possibly care for anyone else other than yourself if your life depended on it". She stopped.

"I care for you Edward". I hated it when she did this. With a smug look I responded.

"Why don't you go stand by Aro's side like a good little dog". She quickly lost her flirty attitude.

"Why would I do that when you have so much more experience with dogs…I mean didn't you make friends with one". She was pure evil. Worse than Aro himself. "Or did that all sour when you're precious human chose him over you?" I was truly going to kill her. "Kind of makes you wonder if she ever really loved you". I slammed the book on the table and stood up against her. She hesitated for a second, but only for one. Instantly I felt sharp pain running through my body. It became unbearable. She placed her hands on my shoulders and ran her fingers along my arms. "You know Edward, you really need to learn to relax. It would be better for your health". She intensified the pain, her eyes glowing with pride. Apparently in the past few months she had learned how to perfect her power. She could hurt me without even seeing me. Sometimes I would wake from deep contemplation to the pain. Ceasing all thought I previously held. When it was about Bella I welcomed it, but this was just cruel. This was Jane being herself. I heard her thoughts screaming into my head. _Edward you need to get over her, this is exceeding pathetic. I could be so much more for you than she ever was. I could be your Bella! _She had no right! She was not allowed to ever say or think her name. I could feel her death on my hands.

"You are going to leave my room Jane. You are going to get the hell away from me and you are going to stay away. _This_ would be wise to your health". She stepped back with surprise. Wincing an evil glare she flipped her hair, turned her heal and jolted out the door. Finally some peace and quite. I sat back into the chair and retrieved my book. Then the pain kicked in. She couldn't just leave, she had to have the last word. Whatever. I didn't care. At least it distracted me.


	9. Being a Worm

Disclaimer: (I wish this was all from my imagination, but the awful truth tells me otherwise)

_i'm putting this up now, but the next few chapters won't be ready until this weekend. so you'll have to wait. and if you could find it in your hearts to review i would be eternally grateful. like crazy eternally grateful._

**CHAPTER NINE**

**Being a Worm**

It had been a week since the bomb fire. I still hadn't heard any news from Jacob. I'd called Billy a few times, but he seemed just as left in the dark as I was. I thought maybe it was getting to him. His son had left and he was alone. Like me. How could Jacob do this to us…to _me_?

Last night Charlie had Rachel over for dinner. It must have been getting serious if he was introducing her to me. He even cooked the meal. I was surprised by this. Charlie doing something very un-Charlie like. I hadn't wrung him out about the milk incident yet, I figured I'd let him pass on that one. He was my father and I could vaguely remember him being some what accepting to my past choices. He didn't even question the lack of Edward. Which was nice, I didn't need an over involved parent right now. Yet that seemed to be the least of my worries. There was just so much going on and the worst of it all was that I wasn't being involved in any of it! That would have been one thing, but being left alone in the dark is being plain cruel. I was starting to get stir crazy. Like a chipmunk stuck inside a little cage with nothing but a wheel to distract itself with. I laughed at that, hell I'd even give in for the wheel. That chipmunk had it better than me. I'd been left in the dark without distractions. I climbed out of bed. It was about time I stepped foot out of my room. Charlie was getting worried, I could see it in the way he carefully spoke to me. Never hinting that anything was wrong. Just that he knew and wasn't going to bring it up. Deep down I thanked him for that. I didn't want anyone's sympathy…except maybe Jacobs. I pulled the cover back over my head. Thinking about Jacob was just a little too much for me. Maybe I'd leave my room tomorrow.

…

Although I'd heard the steps coming up the stairs and the pause that followed at my door, I chose to ignore it. Maybe whoever it was would go away. Not likely, but I found myself wishing for it none the less.

"Bella?" Why did he have to worry. "Bella I'm coming in". This sounded more like a demand than an offer. Charlie opened the door wide, letting the afternoon sun peek through. "Bella Honey, Rachel and I were about to go out for a picnic". He paused. "And we'd really like you to come along". He took a step closer. "So do ya…you know, want to come?" I could foreshadow the embarrassment that would soon be on his face. He knew just as much as I did that I wasn't going to say yes.

"Not really Dad". He grimaced. A frown that I'd been all too familiar with from the past few days. He quickly replaced his frown with a stern expression.

"Bella, you need to get out of the house". This I could see was a demand. I rolled over hoping this would help him give up.

"I'll go to the store. Do you need any more milk?" It seemed like he was going to give up then, but instead he pulled the blanket from my head. I didn't like that.

"No Bella. I don't want you to go to the store. I think it's about time that you got over this boy". I instantly frowned and furrowed my eyebrows to make a glare. "I know that I pushed you and Jake together, but I think maybe that I was wrong". This was too invasive.

"Dad, this is none of your business". It was true, yet it made me feel bad once the words were said. He didn't seem to be pushed back by this comment.

"Get dressed and come to the picnic Bella. I know you're old enough to do what you want, but I'm not having a depressive lump of a daughter like this. You should see yourself". Maybe I was too quick to my response because what I said next was beyond awful.

"Well maybe if you'd gotten over mom sooner then you wouldn't be so picky with me. Rachel is a good substitute Dad, but you know she's no Renee". He dropped his gaze and quickly retraced his steps. Probably wondering what he'd said to deserve such a mess of words. Then he turned around and placed his hand on the doorknob.

"Then don't come to the picnic". He shut the door, walked down the stairs and left the house. I heard the cruiser start up and he was gone. Had I really done that? Did I actually say those words to him? I'd become a monster. An evil dirty monster. With that I rolled onto the floor and started crying. The hole in my chest ripped even further than I'd thought possible. I'd carried Edward's pain and Jacob's, but now I had Charlie's. This hole was going to swallow me complete and destroy my life. A blanket from the bed slipped off and piled over my head. I left it there. I'd rather see nothing then see what I'd become. Bella Swan was a worm. No wonder nobody stayed with her.


	10. Laundry

Disclaimer: (Stephenie owns it all. Poor Kowabungabrittany)

_oky doky. this is uber short and i apologize for that, but it just didn't work with my next chapter.  
so read, enjoy, review and be happy :)_

**CHAPTER TEN**

**Laundry**

Another week passed. Another seven days of bitter reminders. On the bright side I did get out of the house. Yesterday the washing machine broke so I had to do my wash at the laundry mat. I'd like to say that nothing happened there, but something did. While I was waiting for my machine to finish I sat in one of the questionably stained chairs they had. I watched as my cloths spun into a spiraling blur. The colors fading into one. It all seemed pretty normal until I noticed two red spots reflecting from my laundry. I quickly turned my head but the only thing looking back was an old man chewing on a toothpick. Next to him stood a similarly aged women folding flower printed underwear. She smiled a toothless grin while the man frowned.

"Don't you know manners girl. You don't just stair at someone". I shot my glance to the floor and spun back around. In the machine door I could see the couple in the reflection. The woman hit her husband on the shoulder.

"Harold don't be such a grump!" Then my machine stopped and a impossibly annoying buzzer went off. I grabbed my cloths and got out of the all too populated situation. I'd have to pay for a repair guy to fix the washing machine before I'd worn through my newly cleaned cloths again. People were just too…boring for me now. I'd rather be alone then be surrounded by them. Hopefully the next seven days would go better.


	11. Seven Days

Disclaimer: ( Sir Humphrey Davey invented the lamp, Philipp Griebel invented the garden gnome, but I did not invent Twilight)

_this is a little weird. i'm not sure how to elaberate on that._

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**Seven Days**

Day One. Absolutely nothing happened. I folded the laundry that I washed the day earlier. I also called the repair guy for the washing machine.

Day Two. The repair man came to make an estimate. What an evil scheme. I would have to pay for him to tell me what I already knew about the washer. It was broken. Dysfunctional. Very much reflecting on my current condition. Maybe _I_ needed a repair man.

Day Three. Nothing.

Day Four. Thought about Edward. Wondered why he left his family and everything behind because of me. Was I really worth it? Did he deserve to suffer on my account?

Day Five. Thought about Jacob. Enough said.

Day Six. The man came back to fix the washing machine. The whole time he tried to convince me that the dryer was due for a fixing as well. That it could work twice as efficiently. I tried to tell him that it was fine. The washer was the problem. I'm starting to think that they actually sent a salesman rather than a repair guy. Once he finished with the washer he left, but not without a grin. He gave me his card and said to call anytime, that he'd get me a great deal on a dryer. I took the card and crumpled it up once I got back inside. He probably tampered with the dryer while I wasn't looking. People amazed me.

Day Seven. Things Changed. It was Sunday. I'd accomplished nothing in the past week. I did have a feeling though…that something was happening. Whenever I turned my head something would flicker out of my vision. At one point I was laying on my bed with my head touching the floor. Waiting for the blood to rush to my brain, when a shot of red skimmed past my window. Was it a bird? The next incident occurred when I was washing dishes. I'd been watching the sudsy water drain when I heard something. I lifted my eyes to look out the kitchen window. The curtains were shut. I lifted one side and caught something sneaking away. A person. Who could that have been? You'd think I'd be worried, but by now I welcomed it. Who cared if someone hauled me off and killed me, I didn't. What was the point of living when there was nothing to live for? I rinsed out the sink and retreated back to my room. This continued throughout the week. Each turn of my head another sight of glowing red. A glow that always distinguished once I'd catch sight of it. I'd given up guessing about what it was, or who it was. I hadn't died yet, so I probably wasn't going to.

So today was Sunday. The holy day. The one day put aside in the week to spend with family and friends. But for me it was just day seven of the most uneventful week of my life. I wasn't religious or anything, but I wouldn't have minded some company. Being alone for such a period of time did things to people. If the flashes of red didn't help, the talking to inanimate objects certainly weren't making things anymore sane. Yesterday I attempted to make some toast. I ended up arguing with the toaster. It probably isn't surprising knowledge to know that it did not talk back. It troubled me that I had wanted it to. Maybe then I would have known why it ever so efficiently burnt my bread to a crisp. No amount of peanut butter in the world could of made that snack taste any better. I'd spat it out in disgust. Could I not do anything by myself anymore?

I turned to the living room and noticed the TV guide. I flipped through the pages and noticed that the _MASH_ marathon was still playing. Maybe I'd watch that.


	12. Hunting

Disclaimer: ( I own nothing and yes I am sad about it)

_so i figured i'd give a little hint on how to go about reading this chapter. cause it could get a bit confusing.  
the paragraphs in italics are edward remembering moments with bella. yeah that's basically it.  
review, review, review_

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

**Hunting**

_I closed my eyes. She was walking across the parking lot. I could smell her. Why did her sent distract me in such a way. Two emotions flew through me. One was to kill. The second was to protect. But how could this be? She was a human, just a human. I opened my eyes and watched her. The breath coming from her mouth was visible in the cool fall air. I followed it as it left her lips. How was she doing this to me? I knew then that I loved her. There was nothing else but her in that moment, she was mine._

…

I was getting closer to Forks, I could smell the moss covered trees. Never was color so vivid to me until I moved here. And even then it's importance changed once I saw her. Everything from the brown red hair that flattered her neck to the pink that flowed to her cheeks whenever she noticed me. Color was meaningless unless it was around her, she brought it to life. I had good reason to be coming back, there was nothing for me with Aro and Jane. I shuttered, her name was enough to cause that effect on me. I hated her. I should have killed her. But for some reason I felt it was better to let her live. To let her suffer in her lonely world that she was all too eager to share with me. I liked that I hurt her by rejecting her. I liked that she would suffer. I traveled by foot once I got into Forks, this gave me more time to think things over. What was I going to do? Was I going to simply walk up to her? Would I get to her through Charlie? Then a thought shot through my mind. Would I kill the dog? Then she would be all mine and no one else's. There would be no other choice but me. I smirked at that. The dog deserved to die.

…

_Then I saw the van. It was spinning across the ice, closing in on it's destination. She was in it's path. Without thinking I ran with all the force I had._

…

I was walking through the woods when I smelled it. Past the burning fire. Past the salt misted water of the beach. Just a slight breeze passed my nose and I knew it was her. I closed my eyes and followed the sent. I knew I was passing the boundary line, but what was a line anyway. What effect would it have on me now. I wasn't a Cullen anymore. I heard crunching of leaves coming from beneath peoples feet. The mindless jabber of a girl. Another gust of breeze passed me. I turned my head and saw her. She was no more than a couple yards away from me. The wind caught her hair and sent a bouquet of wondrous scents towards me. Punishing me. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I didn't care. She was so close! Using all the power I had I braced myself to the ground, refusing to move a muscle until she'd walked by. I wasn't going to give in that easily. I would wait for my marker.

…

_She looked at me. Her eyes catching every movement that had happened. The van beneath my hand bore an imprint. I knew by the stare she held that she wasn't going to be fooled. She was different. She knew._

…

I left the beach and headed for my former home. Maybe I'd talk to Carlisle and he'd know what to do. Maybe he would be able to help me. On the surface I knew this wasn't possible, yet still I wanted it. My family. But would I be able to live with the shame? The constant reminders coming from their thoughts when I walked by? I'd probably kill myself if not them. I was different. I couldn't change that. Nobody could. I altered my path towards town. Maybe something there would distract me.

…

_She slept. Curled up in her bed. Safe. To the average eye she looked safe, but I knew much better than that. What was sitting outside her window was far from safe. I could kill her. I'd thought about it. The image of her infuriated me. How could a mere girl cause such an effect in me. I should have been immune to it. She turned and faced me. Stirring in her sleep a name escaped from her lips. Edward. _

…

I walked through the shadows of the night, hiding myself from any passers strolling along the street. I was surprised to see that in the town of Forks stores were still open. Maybe it was earlier than I'd thought. Pulling up my sleeve I glared at my watch. It was late. With nothing to distract myself with I decided to desert myself into an ally. Perhaps I'd find some dinner. On that notion a girl walked by. She caught noticed of my attire and ivory skin. Fear spilled from every pore of her body, sending wave after wave of ecstasy through my nose. The blood pounded in my temples. Then I saw her. Brown golden eyes, pink filled cheeks. The smell of fuchsia infuriating my every thought. She laughed sending shivers down my spine. Bella. How was she laughing? Could she be that happy without me? Did I really bring her down that much? I closed my eyes, of coarse I did. I ruined her. Opening my eyes I realized that in fact it wasn't her. No where near. Similar sent, but who knew these days. I smelt a lot more in people now. I balled my fists and flexed. Then walked towards my pray.

…

_She laid beneath me. Her hair gently held by the grass. I noticed her glance around at the clearing surrounding us. This was our place. With her hand in mine I thought about what I had done. I had seduced her to me, there was no other explanation for it. Why would she have stayed? I should have forgotten her and let her live her life, but instead I was selfish. I couldn't let that happen. She was mine and I was eager to be hers. I was the lion and she the lamb._

…

I couldn't believe it. There was no way of escaping her smell. I caught it walking by a laundry mat. Backing up a few steps I crouched by the window. The shade was mostly drawn, but there was enough of a slant for me to see through. She sat opposite to me, her back to my face. I could see her reflection in a washing machine. She looked different. Sad somehow. I breathed in deep, bringing in every particle of her scent. Invigorating. Her eyes caught something and she instantly turned her body to face me. I fell to the dirt. She'd seen me, I was sure of it.

The next day I'd given up. I wasn't going to deprive myself of her any longer. I knew she was in her room. I crawled up the tree adjacent to her window and perched myself there. My eyes locked on her image. She laid on the bed with her head touching the floor. Her eyes closed in deep thought. How I desired to know what she was thinking, like I did with everyone else. Then I became disgusted with myself. I was watching her through a window. It felt more like I was a predator hunting it's pray. She wasn't my pray. I'd kill myself before I ever let anything happen to her. I jumped down from the tree and left her block. I was not going to do this.

…

_I sat next to her in the truck. I still didn't understand why she loved this thing. It was old and slow. But I figured I couldn't complain. Somehow she loved me, so what was loving an old truck compared to that? No reason to either one. I turned my gaze over to her, letting my eyes skim across her face. She seemed to sense that something was wrong. I didn't want her to think that, I wanted her to feel safe. Out of danger. She loved me. I knew this. And more than anything in the world I loved her. I loved her with every being of my soul. The soul she insisted that I truly did have. Sometimes I liked to fall into that notion. To believe that I was worthy of her love, but I knew otherwise. I was evil. I was the bad guy. I didn't deserve to have love. And she would be better for it. I stopped the engine and took the key out of the ignition. For the tiniest moment I thought about not doing it. Instead of saving her maybe I'd doom her. She was mine and I was selfish. But I knew that I couldn't do that, I would talk to her. I would explain to her that she would never be harmed again. I would make it as if I had never existed. As if we had never met. Then I would leave and I would stay true to my promise. To truly love her I would leave her. It was safer that way._

…

I was scum. Again I found myself watching her. She was washing the dishes in the kitchen. I watched as she cleaned each plate. I watched as she dried each knife. And I watched as she cried. She tried to hid it from herself, but she was suffering. Once the tearless sobs stopped she unplugged the sink. Her eyes followed as the dishwater spiraled down the drain. I had done this to her. I had ruined her life. Then I felt her eyes on me. I turned and started to walk away once she lifted the curtain. I would not return to her house. I would not do anymore of this to myself. She was like a drug that I couldn't quit and pretty soon I was going to overindulge if I didn't take myself away from her. The hunt was over.


	13. Cliff Diving and Being Dead

Disclaimer: (I wish it was mine...but it's not)

_hey guys. the past few chapters had been pretty short so here's an average lengthed one. i hope you enjoy it.  
please review :)_

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

**Cliff Diving and Being Dead  
**

It was nearing one and my marathon had at least seven hours to go. I stood up from the couch and decided that I had to get out of the house. It didn't really matter where I went, I just couldn't listen to the constant arguing in my head. I changed my cloths, I grabbed a breakfast bar and I hit the road. My truck wasn't running as well as it use to and my bumper was looking pretty limp. A clear sign that it probably was time for a check-up. The only problem with that was my mechanic was out of town…out of my life. I couldn't believe Jacob had kept me waiting this long without a shred of news. He knew I'd be going crazy, maybe he wanted this to happen to pay me back for what had happened the last time I saw him. I still couldn't wrap my brain around that. How he could blame me. I didn't do anything.

I drove past the high school and soon found myself heading for the Cullen's. I hadn't planned to go that way and I'm sure they really didn't expect or want my company. Unluckily for me I still wanted theirs. During the past two years they had become my family, my sisters, my brothers, and I alone caused them to hate me. I ostracized myself from the Cullen's and now I was paying for it. I was truly and utterly alone and I felt it. Jacob was my one shining light, but that was quickly dimming out. He left like everyone else. Without warning I became completely alone in life.

I stopped the engine and climbed out of my truck. When I walked up to the door I could feel a magnetic force pulling me back to the truck, but I ignored it. I knocked on the door. No one came. I knocked again. This time I heard footprints and the door opened. It was Emmett. He took a step back.

"Go away Bella". The door shut in my face. I could hear quick steps through the door. It swung open.

"Bella!" This was Esme. "Bella, what are you doing here?" I pulled my eyes to meet hers.

"I wanted to ask you-". She cut me off.

"No Bella, we are not discussing Edward". I bit my lip.

"…but I need-". She cut me off again.

"Bella I told you, this will not in any way involve you". She paused to search my face. "When the time comes maybe you'll get some news, but for now you must remain in the dark". I could see sadness in her eyes.

"But you see Mrs. Cullen…Esme (could I still use her first name?), I just really need to know if he's okay. If he's come back". She frowned.

"He has not come back and he is not okay. He is with the Volturi. Nobody's okay with them. Now you need to leave Bella. Go home and spend time with your father. You are about to leave for college and I'm sure he'd like to spend some time with you"

"You'd think". I mumbled. She caught this slip of tongue.

"Bella whatever your personal problems may be they don't matter here. We are centering our interests on Edward and we do not need or want your help. The best thing you can do is live your life as if we'd never met". She searched for some sort of realization in my eyes. "Forget us Bella and move on". She shut the door and left me alone on the step.

How could I possibly live my life as though I'd never met the Cullen's? It wasn't possible. I went back to my truck and I drove away taking one last look at the memory I was leaving behind. The Cullen's were now officially a part of my past. Any hope of befriending them again was out of the question. I was alone.

…

When I got home I continued with my marathon as if I hadn't even left. It was repetitive. Chips to my left and a remote to my right. A commercial came on, it was advertising for a crappy cable movie about a pen salesman. I think that might have actually been the title. I thought to myself, who would watch that? Then it hit me. My eye's started building up. I grabbed a pillow and slammed it to my face to shield my tears. I literally started balling like a two year old. My arms started convulsing and I let the feeling overcome me. I was ALONE. Nobody loved me or wanted me. Edward was gone. Jacob left. Not even my own father wanted to be with me. How was I suppose to survive living like this? I couldn't. I wouldn't! I jumped up off the couch and headed for my truck. I drove with determination. I caught a glimpse of myself in the rear-view mirror. I looked like crap. My hair was a mess and I had makeup streaming down my face. I hit the accelerator and gunned it.

It took me a whole of ten minutes to get to my destination and when I got there I knew what I had to do. I had to end it. I hit the brake on the truck and parked. Sitting there I felt like a worm. An unloved, unwanted piece of…nothing. I peeked in the mirror and quickly had to look away. Who would want to look at me? Through the windshield I could see the power of the water. It looked rough, but I figured it wouldn't be too bad. I mean what could be worse than what I was feeling now? I got out of the truck.

I walked up to the edge. A year ago I had jumped and survived, but now with no one to save me that wouldn't happen. I had to do this. I needed to do this. My brain told me no but my heart told me yes. Jump and get it over with. End the pain, end the sorrow and forget everything!

The rain started, engulfing me in curtain of water. It was thick. By now I was already soaked and one couldn't distinguish tears from rain. Was I really doing this? Was I about to jump to my almost certain death? The truck revved in the distance. I had forgotten to shut it off in my mad furry. I looked ahead as far as I could through the rain. I was going to do this. I took four steps back, paused for a split second and ran. My legs took all control. I was no longer crying. I was running. The edge came and I jumped. The cliff was behind me, my life was behind me.

As I flew through the rain I felt a form of inner peace. No longer did I think about Edward or Jacob. I just felt. I could feel the wind passing through my fingers and blowing back my soaked hair. A drop of rain hit my cheek and slid down my chin. My eyes were shut. I opened them to see the roaring water that was just seconds from me. Then my sweater caught something, choking my neck as it pulled me from my fall. If it was a twig then it was a sturdy one, it wouldn't snap! My neck was being strangled! As I choked for air an arm slid around my waist and fastened my body to it's owner. I grabbed on tight. Something felt familiar. Almost instantly I was thrown to the ground. My body slammed against some rocks and I rolled into a log. I could feel that my arm was hurt pretty badly and I could smell the blood starting to trickle. Once my vision came I noticed a dark figure walking towards me.

"What were you thinking!" The voice screamed. What was I thinking? Who was this and why would they care? He stood over me and his gaze met mine. "I said what were you thinking!" The voice was Edward! It was different but it really was Edward!

"EDWARD!" He grabbed my sweater and pulled me up to my feet. He looked so tall. There was something different about him. Something wrong. I spoke. "Edward you came back!" His eyes wondered to my arm then darted back to my face. I then finally noticed his eyes. They were practically glowing red and his stance was different. Instead of his usual reserved appearance he seemed more livid. He opened his mouth, his teeth gleamed off the rain. "Edward! What's wrong with you!" He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him. His mouth formed a grimacing smile.

"Nothing what-so-ever", he dropped the smile. "Why do you ask Bella?" This scared me. He turned his gaze to my arm. His expression looked as though he would tear it off. Instead he pulled it from my side and examined it, turning it over in the rain. "Bella, you're bleeding." I tried to pull my arm away.

"I know. And you didn't even apologize!" His face was stunned.

"Apologize? For what!"

"You did this to me Edward!" He frowned.

"I saved your life and you blame me for something as miniscule as a scraped arm! You should be grateful. I could kill you right now for such lack of appreciation!". His eyes twinkled red. This was not normal Edward behavior. I had to ask.

"Are you feeding on humans Edward?!" He smiled.

"Well they are the tastiest". I pushed my arm against him and tried again to get away. He held tighter.

"Where are you going Bella, we've only just made company?" This clearly was not a question. He twisted my wrist and I screamed.

"Edward! Let me go!" He dropped me to the ground. My neck hit a rock as I fell. He towered over me holding my arms together. Smiling.

"Bella why such a fret". I kicked my feet frantically.

"Let me go…please let me go Edward!"

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you love me…let me go because you love me!". He lessened his grip and dropped me to the ground.

"Because I love you? Do you love me?! That's the real question. Do you love me?!" I cried.

"YES!"

"Did you love me when you deserted me for that dog! Did you love me when I went looking for the Volturi! Did you love me when you jumped off that cliff!"

"I did, I DID!"

"No Bella I don't think you did!" His voice dropped. "You knew I couldn't possibly live without you. You knew I'd head for the Volturi. And I did. When I killed my first human I died. Edward died. Now I'm something _else_". He took a step back. "I'm a bloodsucker!" I locked into his gaze.

"No Edward. No you aren't!"

"Yes I am Bella. I've killed". A mangled ball of fur jumped from the woods slamming down on Edward. Jacob came out of nowhere and grabbed me. Edward was being held down by Seth. He yelled to me as Jacob ran me out of the scene. "I'm dead Bella. I'M DEAD!" Then he was gone. Too far in the distance for me to hear anymore.


	14. Hard Truths

Disclaimer: (I want to own Jacob, I really do...but I don't and I cry every night because of it)

_hey guys...jacob is back!  
but there is something else that could be more important coming soon  
trust me, you'll hate me after the next chapter  
peace love review_

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

**Hard Truths**

Either the blood got to me or the fact that I was a girl caused it, but I fainted. Everything was black. It was defiantly the blood. When I woke I was in Jacobs bed and he was sitting in a chair next to me.

"How long have I been out?" He turned his gaze to me.

"About forty minutes". He glanced at me, but chose to keep his focus on the floorboards. "Why was Edward there?" I knew he'd ask this, but the truth was I really didn't know. I guess he had always been there. Every flash of red I'd seen clearly had to have been him. His eyes had been watching me for a long time.

"I don't know". I did know, he was there for me. He knew what I was doing and I knew he'd come. It was the only way. I'd been lying to myself.

"Bella I need to know why your were at the cliff". He stood up and started pacing the room, not moving his eyes from the floor. "I need to know why you'd do that?" He stopped and looked up at me. His eyes seemed hurt and pleading. "Don't you love me?" I did not expect this question, but I knew the answer.

"Yes, I love you". He dropped his gaze and look intently towards his feet.

"But not as much as you do Edward". I got out of the bed and stood in front of him. I placed my hands on his neck, he turned to look away but I steered him back.

"No Jacob, just differently than Edward". His expression didn't change. "I loved Edward, but I love you". His eyes met mine.

"Then why would you go to the cliff? If anything had happened to you…I don't even know what I'd do. Bella, I need you". I saw it in his eyes that it was the truth. He needed me like I needed him. He was my second half. Without both what would life be?

"I need you too Jacob". I embraced him. He held me for a sort while then kissed the top of my head.

"I'm tired Bella". I nuzzled my head into his chest.

"I'm tired too Jacob". He clutched on to me tighter.

"No Bella. I'm _tired_. Things are getting…hard. This shouldn't be so hard"

"Tell me about it. I had to spend time with Charlie I got so desperate".

"Well that's not so bad"

"It is when he ditches you for a girlfriend". Jacob smiled.

"It's good that he's dating". He kissed my cheek and let me go into the blankets of his bed. He climbed up next to me and held me close. He murmured as he drifted off to sleep. "I really do love you Bella. I really do". I pushed back his hair and laid my head against his. Instantly I had forgiven him for his lack of presence. I figured I would have been riled with fury, but I wasn't. Not having Jacob was not an option. I needed him, so I forgave him.

"I love you too Jacob". He was asleep.

…

I woke up caught in a giant bear hug. I tried to twist my way out, but Jacobs arms were immovable around my body. I took in a deep breath with defeat. My nose caught the sent of pine and earth. Jake's scent was always comforting to me, but right now it had no effect. Edward was on my mind. Where was he? What did Seth do with him? There was no way that I wasn't questioning Jake when he woke up, but first I had to go to the Cullen's. They had to know. As soon as Jake loosened his grip I snuck out of the blanket. Tiptoeing out the door I peered at Jacob, he was in a sleep coma, tiptoeing not necessary. I shut the door and headed down the hallway, grabbing my coat along the way I stepped out the front door and quickly noticed something that wasn't there. Jacob hadn't brought it back! I turned around and ran back in the house heading straight for Jacob's room. I opened his door and ripped the blanket from him.

"Where's my truck Jacob!" He reluctantly woke and gave me a look of hurt. I didn't care. "Jacob where is my truck!" He pursed his lips.

"It's not here Bella". _Clearly,_ I thought.

"Then were is it!?" He sat up in the bed.

"You don't need to run after him". I burst into tears, clinging onto the blanket.

"I do Jacob, he needs me!"

"Bella-". I came up to him and started frantically punching his chest. He just took it.

"He needs me Jacob!". He held my arms from their motion. More for the protection of my hands than for himself.

"No he doesn't. I need you". I stopped all movement and stood still.

"Not as much as he does. Did you see him!" His eyes dropped.

"I saw him"

"Then can't you see?" He grabbed a hold of me and embraced into a hug.

"It's not him Bella, Edward is gone". I refused to hear this.

"No Jacob! No he's not…he's still my Edward!" After saying this I quickly realized my mistake. Jacob got up off the bed. "No Jacob!". He went through the door and left the room. I ran after him. "Jacob no! I didn't mean it. I love you! I love you!" He stopped and turned around to face me.

"Stop trying to convince yourself Bella. If you really want that dirty bloodsucker over me then have him". He said this all without emotion.

"That's not fair Jacob!"

"He's a murderer and you still protect him! How could I possibly compete Bella?! How could I win?"

"Jacob it's not a game to win. I chose and I chose you!" He turned back to the door.

"Well…I've un-chosen you. Go back to that….that monster". He walked through the door and was gone. I ran out to catch him, but only caught a glimpse of a wolf running into the woods. I'd messed up. I'd messed up bad.


	15. A Not So Unfamiliar Stranger

Disclaimer: (Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. I figured three times was enough)

_all i can say is sorry. i know all too well how cliffhangers suck  
so review and tell me how much you hate me :)_

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**A Not So Unfamiliar Stranger  
**

I turned around and retreated back into the house. Eying the telephone I realized I was going to have to find a way out of La Push. I picked it up and heard nothing. Jacob had cut the cord! He knew I was going to go after Edward and he set me up! I ran to the door, but it didn't open. Jiggling the knob frantically I let go and pushed the curtains back from the kitchen window. And there he was, Jacob was staring back at me. His expression was hurt, he clearly didn't think it would come to this. I placed my hands on the glass.

"Let me out Jacob!" I banged on the window. He looked back at me with the most hurt gaze that I'd ever seen. His face wasn't meant to look this way. Jake was changing. This actually made me feel guilty. How could he do this? Edward needed my help. "I'll brake the window Jacob!" He didn't seem to care, instead he turned and walked away heading for the woods. I watched as his tall shadowy figure disappeared into the foliage. He was gone. I grabbed a hammer from the floor and made my way to the window. I lifted it up in the air ready to strike when I noticed bars. He had barred the windows! I was literally being jailed by Jacob! I dropped the hammer and fell to my knees in desperation, with that I cried. Why was he doing this to me? To protect me or to simply strip me from Edward? My life was falling to shreds. After a moment of total defeat I walked back to the window and peered out. There were people out there, Jacob's friends. I guessed as a wall for incase I found a way through the bars. They stood intensely still and oddly weren't facing the house. I gave up and slumped onto the couch, and there I would sit until Jake came back. He had to come home eventually.

…

I woke up to the sound of commotion in the kitchen. When I turned to look who it was I heard a cheerful answer.

"It's just me Bella. Old Billy making a mess". I then noticed the coffee he had spilled on the floor. I stood up off the couch to help. "Oh there's no need Bella, I made it so I'll clean it". I took a hold of the paper towels and started moping up the dark brown liquid.

"I want to help". He smiled. Once I finished I threw away the now brown paper towels in the trash. Wiping my hands on my jeans I noticed the smile still hadn't left his face. "Why are you smiling?" He started to wheel towards the living room.

"Bella you are one special person. Jacob is very lucky to have you. Even though you are here against your will you still find it in your heart to help those in need. It's a good quality". I looked down at my feet.

"Apparently not to Jacob". I walked over to him. "Edward needs my help right now and he won't let me go! He's locked me up!" Billy's face grew serious.

"Bella Bella, the decision was not made by Jacob. I'm sure if he even knew about it he would have protested"

"He didn't know about it?"

"Not until we found you with the vampire". I was confused.

"Then who did this?" Billy wheeled around to the TV table that held his dinner. He answered without hesitation.

"The pack". I followed him and sat in the chair across from his view.

"Why would the pack have any say in this?" He swallowed a chunk of meatloaf.

"It involves the vampires so it involves the pack. There were two choices, one being to kill Edward and the second to not. Jacob strongly opposed the first". He took another bite.

"Jacob didn't want Edward killed?"

"Nope". I sat there in awe. This was so….my mind was…I was beyond confused. "Bella believe it or not Jacob really loves you, a lot more than anyone else could. But he will always put your happiness ahead of his".

"Even if that means dumping me, Jacob basically threw me to the dogs!"

"He didn't mean it. Sometimes he gets rash. I think he was probably surprised that you had to be locked up. He didn't think you'd go after the vampire". I was still stunned, then it came to me.

"If you got in here then you must know a way out". He put down his fork.

"No can do kiddo. I'm on their side. With the vampire feeding again it would be even more dangerous for you to be out there. He knows your smell. He'll come straight for you"

"He wouldn't, he couldn't do that". Billy gave me a look that even convinced me that I was wrong. I got up and started for Jacobs room. "I think I'll wait for Jacob in here". Billy didn't turn his attention from the TV.

"He won't be back for a couple of hours. So don't stay up". I shut the door and climbed in the bed. If Billy was right then I wouldn't be safe no matter where I was. If Edward wanted me he'd get me. And if anyone stood in his way, well there wouldn't be much left. I looked out the window and noticed Sam standing guard a few yards away. It didn't make me feel any more comforted. If anything I was worried for Sam's safety.

…

"GRAB HIM!"

"GET HIM IN THE GARAGE!" I sat up from the bed and ran to the window. Sam had someone he was holding by the neck. Another La Push buddy ran over and grabbed his arms tying them together. They struggled to get the hooded figure towards the garage. I jumped over a pile of Jacob's cloths and ran down the hallway past Billy. He turned in his chair as I passed him. When I reached the window I pressed my hands against the glass and caught the end of the struggle. The person in the hood was being dragged through the garage door. Then I saw Jacob walk up behind them. The door shut.

"Who is that?" I turned around and asked Billy. "Who was that Billy?" He clearly didn't know, I figured from his lack of interest.

"Probably a wolf from the other pack". He wheeled back to his table and distracted himself with the glow of the TV. I ran back to the window in hopes of seeing something more, but it was over. I had to ask myself, why would they keep the wolf instead of killing it? Clearly something was up.

…

Another hour passed when Jacob finally came through the door. I tried not to pay attention to his entrance. He threw his coat to the floor and walked up to the couch. He slumped onto the cushion beside mine. I still ignored. He fiddled with his hands.

"Bella you have to acknowledge me at some point". I turned to him.

"I have the right to ignore you Jacob"

"But don't you want to know about what happened?" My curiosity got the best of me and he knew it would.

"What happened?" He waited a moment.

"We caught somebody. He belongs to the pack of nomads". Short and simple. I guess he wasn't in the mood to talk, but neither was I so it worked.

"Okay, is this good or bad?" He turned to look at me, his eyes entirely black.

"You know him Bella". At this he motioned for me to follow. We headed out the door and stopped at the garage. I eyed my truck just beyond the shed. Jacob noticed, but ignored and walked through the door. I followed and shut the door behind me. There he was chained to the wall in the corner, his hood still covering his face. Sam was near him holding a bat. He broke the silence.

"Bella, he says he knows you". With this Sam walked up to him and pulled the hood from his face. The boy looked up at me with pleading eyes. Mine bulged out of my head.

"MIKE!"


	16. Bitter Sweet

Disclaimer: (Oh man oh man I wish I was Stephenie Meyer)

_i truly am sorry about the previous cliffhanger, but it had to be done  
read, review, be happy_

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

**Bitter Sweet  
**

It was just me and Mike in the room now. The rest had left and Jacob was waiting outside the door. I continued my questions.

"Mike how did this happen?". He glared at his shoes.

"You know how it happens". I did know but somehow I thought it would have been different. Mike was suppose to be normal. He face dropped. "Don't look at me like that Bella, it's not like you haven't seen my kind before"

"No, it's not", I admitted. "But Mike, this is kind of a surprise. How exactly did you get involved?" He pushed against his chains.

" I didn't get involved. It just kind of happened. One day I was me and the next I wasn't". He started tugging at the ropes that kept him to the chair. I looked at him with wonder. Mike Newton being held down with ropes and chains. Mike Newton, the boy who was hopelessly annoying with his fondness of me. Was this the same boy I'd met on my first day of school? Was this the boy who I'd just gone to a bomb fire with? How long had he been hiding this secret? I wanted to learn the answers but instead I cut to the chase.

"Why are you against Jacob?" He stopped with the ropes and looked up.

"Against Jacob? Why don't you ask him why he's against me!" I was confused. "He's the one that started this whole thing". I stood up.

"He did not!"

"Jeez Bells, you're making me think you two are involved". I sat back down. Realization caught Mikes face. Then a quick shot of pain crossed his expression. "Bella, you're with Jacob?!" I continued my silence. He smiled. It was not his usual goofy smirk, this was something different. "So I guess the vampire wasn't enough for you. You wanted a werewolf". I screamed inside my head. How did he know about Edward?! Who told him?! I needed to keep my cool. I spoke through my teeth.

"That is not how it is Mike. Besides what's it to you anyway?" Without hesitation he answered.

"Come on Bella, you know I've liked you for a long time". I was pretty stunned by this. I knew he liked me, but I never thought he'd actually say it. "Bella don't look so surprised. It's not new. Besides it's not like I had any hopes. I mean compared to Edward I was nothing, but now that you're with the wolf boy then I think I've got a pretty good chance". I hardened my eyes.

"You have no chance against Jacob".

"Maybe not, but maybe I don't need a chance Bella. Maybe I already have you. We are alone you know. All you need to do is take these ropes off". Annoying I could deal with, but with Mikes new found attitude I had had enough. With that I stood up and walked towards the door. Then without thought I quickly changed my direction. I stomped up to him grabbing a roll of duck tape on my way. He shot me a look of worry. "Bella, what are you doing!" With a grin I pulled a piece off and securely put it across his mouth then pulled down his hood so it covered his smug expression. I smiled then walked out the door. Jacob tried not to look me in the eyes when I came up to him. He was surprised when I took a hold of his hand.

"Come with me". His face was expressionless. He didn't know what was happening. We walked with quick strides until we reached a small opening in the forest. Finally he spoke.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I took his other hand.

"Do you know where we are?" He let his eyes wonder around our surroundings. Then he recognized the location and looked back at me.

"This is where I kissed you". I smiled.

"This is where I stared loving you. When you kissed me I saw everything. The future was right there in front of my eyes"

"Bella-". He took a step back.

"Jacob I want you to kiss me again". He paused. Clearly he wasn't going to move so I stepped up to him and placed his face between my hands. His eyes widened with this hold. I watched as he questioned the situation. In my hands I held my soul, my love, my sun. He was my everything and I knew there would be no one else for me. He was mine. "Kiss me Jacob". He took in a deep breath and put his hands up to my face. With his thumb he wiped away the tear that had formed above my cheek. He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. I felt fire engulf my entirety. His hand slipped to my back and pulled me in, pushing me against his tall body. Then he broke the kiss.

"Bella…I can't". And even with this he continued the fiery kiss. Pressing his moist lips against mine he dipped my body to the ground. I felt the warm earth beneath me. Above me I felt Jacob. My warm Jacob. Nothing could take me out of this moment. Nothing. Then it happened. I wasn't sure how I was feeling it, but I was. I wasn't even sure if it was really happening. We became one. I could feel our souls tightening and our desires fuse. He grabbed a hold of my neck and intensified our kisses. I instantly took his face deeper into my palms. Feeling every texture of his face. Fire erupted between us and there was nothing else. He pulled me up into a hug never breaking the kiss. Everything else in the world had become nothing. Anything that wasn't us was eclipsed. _We were everything_. At the same instant we broke from our hold. Both of us falling back a little, not exactly sure what had just happened. Then I saw his face and I knew he had seen mine. Instantly he stretched his arms to me and smashed my body against his. His lips formed yet another fire filled kiss. Slowly he let go and I took in a breath.

"Whoa". Was that all I could say? It seemed like there was another word. Just there on the tip of my tongue, but what was it? He opened his eyes.

"Bella. That…that was". Then his mouth dropped. "That was incredible!" Yeah it was, but I still didn't have any words. All I had was a question.

"What was that Jacob?" A colossal grin pulled across his face.

"What did it feel like to you?" Then I knew. It hit me like a ton of stale muffins. He had imprinted. He had imprinted on me. All worry that I had had before was gone. He was mine and there would be no alternative. I felt it. I had felt it in every kiss. We were forever. Then I answered him with a smile. He grinned. "That good huh"

"Yes, that good". I didn't even need to say anything. I knew that he knew. I knew that it wouldn't matter. I jumped up to him and took his neck between my arms. Closing my eyes I took in his sent. Pine. Earth. Family. He was exactly as he should be. He was my Jacob. He tightened his arms around me and spun in circles. He was like a schoolboy giddy to get out of class. He laughed and cried.

"Bella". He paused and pulled his face back from the hug. "I love you". My lips formed a smile. The happiest smile I had ever felt. Everything seemed so warm now, like that sun had just revealed itself.

"I love you Jacob. More than anything I love you!" His grin grew and he kissed me.

"That's nice to hear". I felt like I needed to say more.

"Jake I've always loved you. Even when I didn't know it". He smirked.

"Yeah, and you sure didn't know it for a long time". I stared at him in awe. "Frankly you could have figured it out quicker, I mean for my sake". He was making jokes right now? He was laughing up our moment? I smacked his chest. Apparently he took this as something else. His lips took mine and he blazed my thoughts. Holding me tighter I stared to feel lightheaded, dizzy. He let go.

"I was trying to hit you Jacob!" He laughed.

"I know. I just wanted to kiss you". There was no end to his hormones. He was my innocent werewolf boy and I loved him. I thought that again in my head. _I loved him_.


	17. The Other Pack

Disclaimer: (I went to the wizard, but he couldn't make me Stephenie. All I got was this lowsey heart)

_okay guys...i'm pretty proud of this particular chapter. i put a lot of time and research into it.  
a great way to show appreciation for that would be reviews  
TONS OF REVIEWS!!  
thank-you much, kowabungabrittany  
also a special thanks to Nature'sAngel for conflabbid. your vocabulary amazes me_

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

**The Other Pack**

With my hand in his we slowly walked back towards the house. Neither of us caring to meet the familiar opening of the woods. I smiled behind blushed cheeks while Jacob walked with a swanky manner. Happier than ever I supposed. Something had happened back there that neither of us could put into words. Everything that I had questioned in the past was nothing now. I had everything I could have ever asked for. I had Jacob. With reluctant eyes the trees parted before us and the small house came into our vision. I squeezed his hand. He responded with an even tighter squeeze.

"We don't have to go back you know". He nuzzled his nose behind my ear. "We could go back in the woods". I fell into his arms as he deepened his face into my neck. Quietly I moaned.

"_Jacob_". He pressed his lips against my neck and kissed. As he pulled back I felt a fiery breath escape from his lips.

"Bella, I want to go back". I knew if we did then we would never have returned to the house. And that was something that unfortunately I couldn't wait for. He had promised to explain things to me. Answers with no restraints and I couldn't pass that up.

"No Jake, we should go inside". His lips formed a pout and his shoulders slumped. I felt deep brown eyes penetrating my every thought. He was not getting away with the puppy dog act. I knew much better than that. "You can't get me with that Jacob. I know what you are and it's not a puppy". He grinned.

"Who says I'm not. I've got the warm fur coat and the four paws to prove it". I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped my mouth.

"You are not a puppy. You are an overgrown mutt with a serious identity issue". He stood up breaking his shortened posture and let go of the act.

"Well you got me there. I just can't tell who I am anymore". He placed his hands on my cheeks, holding my gaze to his. "All I see is you". What a turd. He was playing dirty.

"I think we both know that you see more than just me. How else would you walk?" I guess that was the best I had. He roared with laughter.

"Jeez Bells you really suck at this". I playfully arched an eyebrow.

"How do you walk?" He laughed again.

"I watch your feet and follow their path"

"Is that all you've got!"

"Believe me it's not an easy task. You aren't the world champion of walkers you know. I've never met anyone who could trip over so many things in a single day". I scowled and attempted to step closer to him. In my mind I was going to punch him, but the enemy I call gravity had other plans. I caught my shoe in the dirt and fell into Jacob. Slowly I peered my eyes to meet his. "You really are quite clumsy". Then he knelt down and kissed me. I almost reacted, but the sight of the house caught the corner of my eye. I pulled off from him only for him to retaliate by pulling me back with even more force. He didn't kiss me but his expression told me it wouldn't be long before he did.

"We need to go inside Jacob". He sighed.

"Sure, sure". Reluctantly he let go and took my hand. "Lets go then". When we walked through the door instantly I felt six pairs of eyes evaluating us. Seth ran up to Jacob and tackled him.

"Congratulations Jake! We all knew it was coming". I stood to the side keeping away from the manly displays of affection. _What was he congratulating him for? _I looked around the room. Sam sat on the far side of the couch giving off no emotion. Embry was next to him smiling from ear to ear, apparently happy for whatever news he'd just learned that was unknown to me. Billy was next in the circle, sitting comfortably in his wheelchair. He was smiling as well. _What was with all the smiles? _Then came Leah. She was not among those smiling. She seemed pissed? When she noticed me staring she shot me a glare. _What the hell crawled up her butt?_I gave up and noticed the boy next to her. Quil had changed a lot in the past few months. He looked more stressed than usual. Maybe being a werewolf wasn't as exciting as he had thought it would be. I guess I couldn't blame him, there was a lot going on. I came back to reality and noticed Seth ripping off from Jacob by Jacob's force. He swayed past me still holding a huge grin. He lightly punched my arm. "Good going Bella. You're finally part of the pack!". I mouthed a what at Jacob. He shrugged and laughed. I gave in and asked.

"You're gonna have to tell me about what's going on. I don't have the whole wolfy gift of reading minds". Leah shot yet again another glare. Jake shot one back at her and answered me.

"They know that I imprinted on you". He'd said it. He'd actually said the words! A smile broke my face that didn't even care about Leah or what was up her butt. I didn't care that Sam was in the room or even Billy. I jumped up on him and planted one right on his lips. He bounced back against the wall in surprise, but didn't reject. Kissing me back he pulled me off and lead me towards the couch. I didn't miss the red that had invaded his face. Who knew that russet skin could turn so pink. He sat down and pulled me beside him. There was awkward silence and darting of eyes. I was getting impatient. _Who was going to speak first? _With that thought Sam spoke.

"It's nice that you imprinted Jacob, but lets get down to business. Bella is here to get informed on what's going on. Nothing else". I couldn't tell if he was being rude or just impatient with the fact that this meeting was being held for me and me only. Everyone else already knew what was going on. I was wasting their time. Jake dropped my hand.

"You're a real ass Sam". Billy broke Jacobs comment.

"Okay, okay. Let's calm down and get this meeting going". He turned to me. "I'm sure Bella want's to get going just as much as we do. So lets talk"

"I'm fine making this long". Seth turned and grinned. "Bella you're gonna love this. There's so much you've missed". He empathized the so. I couldn't help but smile. Seth always had that effect. Ignoring Seth, Sam spoke up.

"Billy, maybe you should tell this. You know it better than us". Jacob's father grinned, almost out of his chair. He loved telling stories, especially the long ones. He let go of the grin to take a sip of water. When the glass went down a serious expression held his face.

"A long time ago-"

"Yeah, yeah. In a galaxy far far away". Seth interrupted. Both Billy and Sam shot him a glare. Seth embarrassingly sunk back into the couch. Billy continued.

"A long time ago, long before Taha Aki and the Quileute descendants came to be in La Push there was another pack. Nobody then or today could recall the name of their people for it had been lost generations ago. Mostly they were seen as nomads that diverted from the usual way. They saw it fit to roam around never phasing out of their animal form. They had given up on their human body and chose to permanently stay as the wolf. While Taha Aki found it important to never forget your human form and had strongly disagreed with their way of life. But since it was not his pack to judge he let it go. So for many years there was no interference with either of the packs. When the time came for a new leader of Taha Aki's descendants a brave man called Machk was picked. All was peaceful until one of Machk's sons fell in love with one of the nomad's. Her name was Donoma, meaning sight of the sun and that she was to all that saw her.

The room darkened as the story unfolded. I hadn't even noticed how much time had passed. Sitting next to Jacob with my head against his shoulder I stayed obsessed with the story at hand while he drew patterns with his finger on my palm. Billy explained in beautiful detail on how Machk's youngest son, Ahote, had fallen in love with the other packs beloved Donoma, the daughter of the nomad chief Nahuel. He spoke of their secret meetings in the moonlight and how Donoma would phase back into her human form to please Ahote. For hours they would sit under the moonlight watching stars and sharing dreams. Both knew nothing could come out of their love while under the watch of their fathers, so it was the third full moon that they picked for their escape. Billy told it in so much detail it was as if he had actually been there. I was in awe at his ability to tell a story. The legend took a drastic turn when Nahuel found out about his daughters relationship with the son of Machk. With this information he sent out a retrieving team to bring back his daughter. Machk had also heard of this news and hurriedly started his search for his son. What he came across was beyond describable. Two dead and mangled bodies laid naked in a bed of moss. Machk phased and howled at the sight of his dead son and his lover. Nahuelhad sent his team not to retrieve his daughter, but to kill her. With this realization Machk sprinted in a mad fury towards the nomads camp. He killed all that he could and left the rest to hide in fear. When he came against Nahuel he fought and was defeated. Many nights passed until Machk's pack heard of his death. In anger they also ran to Nahuel's territory and killed him. Only a small few of Machk's pack died in the effort, but the loss in Nahuel's was overwhelmingly drastic. The remainders of the pack had to flee the land and take up new lives on their own. Or so it seemed. At that point Sam broke in with the current situation.

"So cutting to the point, basically the nomads have come back". Seth perked up.

"Yeah, we all thought they'd just died out, but instead they were just hiding and waiting. So now there's more of them than ever!" Sam ignored this statement.

"Since their numbers are so large we've decided to scout them out first. A few weeks ago I caught their sent and for a while now we've been watching them. They don't seem to be very intelligent".

"Smart enough to get past us though", Seth blurted. Leah snapped at him.

"It wasn't my fault! If anything it was yours you paper weight!" Seth roared with laughter.

"Did you just call me a paperweight?!"

"Well it was you that fed me the wrong information. You said watch at the east so I did"

"If it had been me on watch I would have got'em. Use your nose Leah". Seth jumped off the couch and sniffed his way towards Leah. He caught her smell and quickly backed off. "Are you wearing perfume?!" She glared at him.

"Yeah, what's it to you". Seth recoiled.

"Nothing". With that he headed for the kitchen. "Hey does anyone want some nachos?" Instantly three pairs of werewolf sized eyes shot open. Quil, Embry and Jacob said in union.

"I do!"

So for the remainder of the night I sat around a group of werewolves sharing plans and ideas on what to do. Me, being not the most productive in this area just listened. I could tell that Jacob was getting tired as the hours passed when his hand fell out of mine. Or maybe it was mine that fell out of his? I was too exhausted to figure it out. When I woke up I was being carried towards Jacobs room. I felt long muscular arms embracing me with every step. I looked up and he seemed thrilled that I'd caught him in his transportation deed.

"Wakey wakey". He grinned down at me. I mumbled.

"I fell asleep?". Then I realized that while I was snoring I had probably missed the whole remainder of the meeting. They probably already had their plan all drawn out and would now have to waste more time filling me in on it. God I was such a nuisance. "I missed everything didn't I?"

"Nah, we just went over some ideas". _Great now he was protecting me from my idiocy_. "You were pretty out of it Bella. When you fell asleep you stared mumbling things about Achak and how he was going to win". I gave him a questioning gaze.

"Who is Achak?" He laughed.

"That's what we wanted to know! But you weren't much of a conversationalist sleeping, so I figured it was time for bed". He lowered me into his bed. Once he laid himself down beside me I cuddled my body against his. Jacobs warmth covered over me like a three layered blanket. With that I shook off the blanket he had covered me with. "You might want the blanket Bella, we don't have heat". I laughed.

"Why would I need a blanket when I've got my own personal space heater right here?". He groaned at this and nuzzled his nose against my chin.

"Sometimes I wonder if you just keep me around so you can save money on blankets". I felt my way to his lips and pressed mine against his. A soft kiss grew between us. I snuck my hand up to his neck and pulled him in closer. He groaned. "I'm just a tool to you aren't I". I parted our lips with a smile.

"If only it was that easy". Jacob slid his hand along my waist and held it against my hip. A path of fire erupted from his trail.

"All you have to do is ask". As if that statement somehow had a profound effect on me my breathing heightened and blood flushed to my cheeks. I leaned in closer, getting my lips so near I could feel his breath against my cheek. With a surge I squished his lips against mine, but there was no movement from him. His mouth stayed secure. "You have to ask", he breathed. I stayed in a haze for a moment, then realized his statement.

"Jacob, will you kiss me?" He leaned in and came so close so that I could feel his lip against mine. He breathed out and sighed.

"No". His sweet breath bounced off my nose. I was stuck in the haze of bliss.

"No?"

He smiled. "No". _Was he telling me no? He wasn't going to kiss me?! _

"What do you mean by no?" He pulled back and knelt on one of his elbows.

"I'm not going to kiss you". I was lost for words. Instead I just leaned in further towards him only for him to back away again. I reached out my arms and caught his shoulders, pulling myself on top of him in such a graceful manner that I even surprised myself. His eyes grew wide and he instantly tensed. Holding him down while I startled him I finally found my words.

"Why won't you kiss me?" Almost like he'd forgotten his previous intentions he started to pull himself up to meet me. I pushed him back into the bed. He hit the pillow with a soft thud. His eyes grew wider. In a breathless tone he answered.

"I can't remember". He tried again to lift himself up. I leaned down to him, pulling my arms under his. His eager lips attached to mine.

"Tell me", I demanded. He groaned.

"I was trying to tease you". I backed up.

"You were being an ass". He looked shocked. "Don't worry, I wouldn't tease you. I'm a better person than you". With that he grabbed a hold of my hips and flipped me under himself so now he was the one on top. He breathed heavily over me. I watched as his muscular build heaved in and out. As he started to close the distance between us I promptly rolled out from under him. He quickly moved back over me, destroying my attempt to escape. He raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you were a better person?"

"I lied". With that he growled and caught my lips with a final gasp. He tore at my shirt and threw it to the floor. Beneath him I gasped in surprise. After he took a moment to look down at me he slowly bent down and started placing kiss after kiss along my collarbone. I pulled my hands along his back, feeling every muscle. Without warning my knee slid up against his, causing friction to fuel between our bodies. As he continued his fiery kisses I could feel every movement in his back beneath my hands. He worked his way up my neck as he entangled his fingers in my hair. Slowly he pulled me up to his lap so we sat in a hug. My hands found the back of his neck as they tried to pull his face closer and closer. Finally he reached my lips, but teased by kissing just the corner of my mouth. "_Jacob_", I begged. He paused above me. I looked up and saw a god before my eyes. _How did I get so lucky? Surely there were other more deserving people._ Then he stopped all together and broke a distance between us. I could feel this distance. It was as if gravity was working it's self against my will, pulling me closer towards him with every passing second. In deep breaths he broke the silence.

"We have an audience". With that he rolled off from me and planted his head into a pillow. I huffed a breath of defeat. Why did werewolves have to have such good hearing? If anything could break a mood it was definitely that. I sunk deeper into my pillow and pulled the blanket back over myself. Both of us stared up to the ceiling breathing heavily. All I could think to myself was _Conflabbid! _So close, then nothing! I closed my eyes and decided to let sleep invade my thoughts, my very dirty thoughts.


	18. Werewolves, Not Ninjas

Disclaimer: (I love Twilight, but it's not mine. It's a love/hate relationship)

_i'm a little sad that no one thought my starwars reference was funny  
i thought it was...  
thanks for all the reviews guys, please keep them coming  
the private messages are awesome too :)_

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

**Werewolves, Not Ninjas**

I rolled over and caught the sun in my eyes. Squinting in discomfort I noticed the heap of blankets entangled at my feet and the large arm that was draped over me. _Apparently Jacob didn't mind that he was a space heater. _Sweat stuck to every inch of my body making my skin cry out for some form of water. I turned my gaze to the clock and was shocked by the time. It was two in the afternoon! _When exactly did we go to bed last night? _I stole a moment to look up at the ceiling and think. _What was I getting into?_I knew one thing for sure. I was hopelessly in love with Jacob. So whatever came after that didn't matter. I scrunched my mouth. Of coarse it mattered. There was going to be a war. People could die. I was becoming very selfish. Okay so I had got that down. People would probably die and I would be despondent about it. Weather I liked it or not. No that wasn't right. How could I not be hurt more than that by it? I would be destroyed. No matter how much I loved Jacob, I couldn't live knowing that someone he loved was no longer there for him. Although we had each other, we still had others that stayed in our hearts. I had Charlie, Renee and the Cullen's. He had Billy and the pact. Anyone lost would be beyond any word for hurt. It would be like part of us had been stolen. Taken away. Forever. With that thought I started to feel fear crawling it's way up my throat. Trying to take over all that I had. _What if someone died?_

Almost as if he knew what I was going through secretly in my thoughts he whispered from his sleep.

"Everything will be fine Bella". I let out a silent sigh.

"But how can you know that?" He opened his eyes and responded with all the nurture he could muster.

"Because I will always be here. I will never leave you". I pondered that.

"But what about the others?"

"They will be safe". These words did not change the hold that my fear was now sealing on to. He noticed this and effortlessly pulled me to him. For what seemed to be minutes he held on to me. Holding all my pieces in place so I wouldn't fall apart. But I knew I was coming dangerously close to doing that exactly.

"I don't think I could live if anyone got hurt". My shoulders started to convulse and my hands shook uncontrollably. Jacob pulled me in even tighter, trying to make my motion impossible to continue. Then a if things couldn't get any worse I thought of the worse possible thing. _What if Jacob got hurt? _Tears started to trickle down my face and into his chest. The heat of his skin turned them into warm salty streams of despair. I tightened my knuckles against his skin and rolled my face against his chest. He pulled back my hair and the few loose strands caught in my eyes. He knew the newly formed tears were for him.

"I'll be fine Bella". He pulled me back, taking in all that was me. The pitiful version of myself that was now plagued by fear. I slumped back into his arms. Then I surprised him with what I said next.

"How is Mike a werewolf?" He seemed puzzled by the change of subject.

"What?"

"I mean, how did Mike become a werewolf?" He wiped the fresh tears off my cheeks then answered.

"What do you mean how? You know all about that stuff". No, he wasn't understanding the question.

"It's different. Mike isn't like you…and he isn't like them". Jacob held me out further.

"Bella, what are you talking about?"

"Mike isn't like you. He doesn't have Quileute blood. He's as white as it gets". With that Jacob started to roar with laughter.

"Wow Bella. You don't have to be a Quileute to become a werewolf. How do you think the nomads did it?" I tucked my face against his chest furthering my mumbles.

"But he's still not like them. He doesn't stay as a wolf". Jake's arms took their spot back around my body. He seemed worried that I was about to break again, but I was better now. The thoughts were still there, but I had found my control. He quietly answered.

"I guess things change".

After that morning I found it in myself to stay by Jacob whenever I could. I couldn't bear the thought of loosing him and so I wouldn't. If he was always in my sight then nothing could happen. He didn't make it hard for me either. That day we simply hung around the house and watched movies. I had wondered why we weren't questioning Mike anymore, but Jacob told me the time would come for that later. I guess it was on a need to know basis. The current movie was some nineteen seventies ninja flick. Constant kicking and screaming. A fury of impossible moves, or at least for me. I didn't know if Jacob knew any of this stuff. Maybe he did.

"Jake?" He pulled his eyes off the screen.

"Yeah"

"Do you know this stuff?" He raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"Can you do what they're doing. Karate or whatever?" He leaned back his head and almost started a good laugh but decided otherwise. Instead he spoke.

"You think I know marshal arts?" I pouted and slumped back into the cushion.

"It was just a question". He leaned forward and caught my gaze. Then the unavoidable noise of footsteps caught our ears. Seth walked in and plunked himself on the couch. All attention he had instantly went to the TV.

"Awe man, I love this one!" Both Jacob and I turned to face him. He started making fake swipes at the TV, as if he was in a boxing match. Then Jacob spoke.

"You know, Bella just asked me if I knew marshal arts". Seth turned his attention to me and let out a roar of laughter.

"She thought that you knew how to do that!" I deepened myself further into the cushion and mumbled my previous statement.

"It was only a question". Seth continued to laugh then walked out of the room. Looking back just to laugh some more. I didn't understand what was so funny. I figured it was innocent as far as questions went. Finally Jacob let me in.

"We're werewolves Bella. Not ninjas". I guess maybe it was kind of a dumb question. But they didn't have to laugh. "Anyways I don't think the tight black outfits would last too long with our phasing". I laughed at that. Imagining Jacob in a ninja outfit came pretty humorous. He playfully tangled his fingers through my hair. "What are you laughing at?"

"You in a ninja suit". He twirled a lock of my hair around his finger and knelt his head down to smell it. He sniffed in deep and exhaled.

"Do you have any idea what you smell like?" I attempted to pull away. I didn't think I smelled that bad.

"Well I haven't had a chance to shower. Leah is always in the bathroom!". He pulled me closer and sniffed his nose along my neck sending shivers with his path. He parted his lips to whisper.

"You smell good". Pressing his warm mouth against my skin he kissed me. I turned and faced him as a smile broke across his face. Secretly I questioned this smile. _What was it for? _Gravity wouldn't allow our distance any longer. I fell into him and pressed my lips against his. It was a small but passionate kiss. It was sweet. Then he took my hand and continued with the movie. _Sure sure. Stop right there Jacob. Get me going then turn it off_. Sometimes I just couldn't place my finger on him. He'd kiss me passionately in front of his pack, but if he senses someone near us like now then he folds. As if he read my thoughts he spoke.

"It's a privacy thing. At least when we're alone it's just us. But when they can hear us it's not the same". He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me against him, placing his chin above my head. "I like to have you all to myself". He was such a dog. Saving himself with words. I was never good with words and here he is the smooth taking wolf boy. Looking back a year ago, seeing us as friends sharing warm sodas in his garage I thought to myself. _I never had a chance_. _Jacob had me at hello_. Did I just say that? Had me at hello? I guess we shouldn't have watched Jerry McGuire earlier. Would I be dishing out these kind of lines regularly? I shuddered at that. Lets hope not. Jacob laughed. "You think too much Bella". I gave him a questioning glare. "I can see it in your face". I let myself calm over.

"Well one of us has to think". His face dropped. "We shouldn't be watching movies Jacob. We should be questioning Mike".

"I told you the time would come for that. Later". I pushed back from him.

"We can't keep him in the garage forever! At some point we'll have to let him out!" With this statement he shot me a look of understanding. Understanding that now he was going to have to tell me something. Something he didn't want to.

"Bella we can't let Mike go". My mouth fell. Mike wasn't going to be freed? But he didn't do anything. He was just Mike.

"Jacob Black! Mike has to be let go! What about his family!". His brows furrowed while he tried to grasp my hand. I shook the attempt away. "You will not hurt Mike, Jacob".

"Bella, he isn't giving us the option of letting him go. And he isn't answering our questions. He's just like the rest of them. He's the enemy". I couldn't believe what he was saying. First Edward and now Mike. Jacob was taking away everybody!

"You took Edward from me, you are not destroying Mike". Instantly shock took over his face.

"I did not take Edward from you! For gods sake Bella, he's with his family!" _What? Did he just say family?_

"Where is Edward?!"

"He's at the Cullen's". I ran for the phone. Jacob quickly followed me and covered the phone with his hand.

"Are you positive that you want to do this?", he asked showing off every piece of hesitation in his voice. My too quick reaction to call had hurt him. I placed my hand on his cheek.

"This doesn't change anything between us Jake. I just need to see him. I need to know that he's okay". He took his hand off the phone and took a step back to give me space. I dialed the number.


	19. Getting Help

Disclaimer: (I heart Twilight, but I also heart Stephenie Meyer for creating it)

_hey guys...here's another edward point of view...i hope you enjoy  
sorry it took so long  
REVIEWS WOULD BE AWESOME_

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

**Getting Help  
**

How could she not see that? I left because of her and she didn't even acknowledge it. I looked down at her seeing the pitiful being that she was. No. I couldn't think that. This was Bella. I loved her. A burning fire erupted through my veins. I could feel the anger overcoming me. She was too close. I lessened my grip on her wrists and dropped her to the ground. She fell like a rag doll.

"Because I love you? Do you love me?! That's the real question. Do you love me?!"

"YES!", she cried.

"Did you love me when you deserted me for that dog! Did you love me when I went looking for the Volturi! Did you love me when you jumped off that cliff!"

"I did, I DID!", she yelled. I could see doing so took all her strength. The fire lessoned. Calm was breaking over me.

"No Bella I don't think you did. You knew I couldn't possibly live without you. You knew I'd head for the Volturi. And I did. When I killed my first human I died. Edward died. Now I'm something else". I stepped back to show her what I'd become. What she'd made me. "I'm a bloodsucker!"

"No Edward. No you aren't!" How could she be so naïve?

"Yes I am Bella. I've killed". Instantly I was tackled. Something out of the woods slammed into me, throwing me across the ground. I looked up just in time to see Jacob pick her up. More than anything I wanted to rip from whoever was holding me down and tear his throat out. I snarled. He deserved it! I yelled the last that I could before her image faded into the woods. "I'm dead Bella. I'M DEAD!" Then she was gone. From the corner of my eye I caught another werewolf walking up to me. With my face in the ground and with no possibility for movement I snarled causing dirt to puff out in front of me. Then I heard a voice, a thought. _Calm down Edward. You need to calm down._ I turned my head only for my paperweight to crush my face back into the dirt. _Don't try to move Edward_. How was this possible? Were they teaming up on me? I reopened my eyes. Carlisle looked down on me, his face full of concentration. Probably to block what he really was thinking, not what he wanted me to hear. _We've missed you Edward. It's time to come home. _I shot him a glare.

"You don't want me home. Trust me". Then I felt my head squish further into the ground. Carlisle reacted.

"There's no need for that, he's not going to do anything. You can leave now". With that I was freed from my hold and I listened as the two wolves started to walk away. "Thank you Sam. Thank you Seth. Your help has been much appreciated". Then they were gone. It was just me and him. "Get up Edward". I stayed in my spot. I was not going to take my face out of the dirt. He didn't deserve to see me like this. A killer. He knelt down and placed a hand on my chin, pulling my face from my mask of earth. I did not open my eyes. "Edward look at me". My breathing deepened while I tried to resist. I did not want him to see me. Why did he have to come! "Edward". I couldn't stop myself. I opened my eyes. To my surprise he didn't turn back. He didn't scream in pain. He didn't even turn his gaze. Instead he let out a small sigh. "My poor son. What did they do to you?"

"They didn't do anything"

"This isn't you Edward. This isn't my son. You were better than this". I closed my eyes.

"Things change". He frowned. _They don't have to. You can come back with me. It can be better. I can help you Edward._ I felt desperate. "No". _Edward let me help you._ "What about the others? What would they think of me?!" This time he answered with words.

"They would love you. We are family. Family always forgives". Maybe he was right. Maybe I could go back. Then I got my better senses back. I stood up and got ready for my escape.

"It wouldn't work Carlisle"

He frowned. "I'm sorry it has to happen this way Edward, but we can't just let you go. I'm sure you understand that". With that I caught sight of five others coming out of the shadows. _How had I not heard them? How could I have been so dumb? _I dug my stance into the earth, frantically searching for another way out. I knew I could do it, but not without hurting one of them. Could I actually do it though? Could I hurt one of my family?I caught the stare of Alice and lost it all. Everything. Every possible scenario that was going through my head crashed once I saw her expression. She was in pain. Then I felt a wave of calm come over me. _Don't fight it Edward_, thought Jasper. All these thoughts were messing with my head. I didn't know which were mine and which were theirs. They knew this was the only way it would have worked. It was the only way they could stop me. A wave of words crashed at me. Breaking all my concentration. _Don't do it Edward! We can help you. His eyes, they're so red! Edward let us help you! We love you Edward. Don't fight it! He's too far gone. Don't leave brother! Edward. Edward. EDWARD! EDWARD! EDWARD!_Then everything went black and something happened to me that had never happened before. I lost my balance. Falling into the dirt the last thing I heard was Carlisle.

"Good work everybody. Now lets take him home".

…

Three days later…

"Edward it has only been three days. You can not expect us to let you go now"

"I'm ready Carlisle". He walked up to me and crouched to meet my level. _Why didn't he believe me? I was ready to get out. I was ready to move on. _His hand brushed through his hair.

"You just think you're ready. You need more time". Then there was more. _He'd kill everybody. I can't let him go. Not yet. _A shot of shame passed his face. "I'm sorry Edward"

"No you're not". Why would he be sorry. It was his true opinion. I was a killer and he knew it. I knew it. Even with that knowledge I couldn't stay here. All their thoughts running through my head. It was just too much. Even Alice who refused to see me couldn't escape me. Her thoughts screamed so loud I couldn't possibly ignore them. She hated me. But that wasn't even the worse of it. Emmett acted like nothing had changed. When he came to see me he didn't even acknowledge the chains that held me down. I hated it. I detested that he refused to accept what was real.

"No Edward, I am sorry. I don't choose to think that way. It just happens"

"Don't lie to me Carlisle. I don't disagree with you. I probably would kill everyone, but I just can't stay here. Knowing that you all hate me is beyond frustrating". He nodded his head as if he knew who I was taking about. Sometimes I wondered if he too could read minds. He knew me all too well.

"Alice will turn around. You are her brother. She'll forgive"

"I DON'T WANT FORGIVENESS!" This burst didn't effect him. He simply watched as I suffered with my inner turmoil. Why did he have to be so good? I hated that he could make himself that way. I remembered being able to try his way of life, but it wasn't for me anymore. A person can't just change who they are. Without her I was nothing. Carlisle stood up then walked out the room.

…

How long was he planning to keep me here? I could see his reasoning, but I still wanted out. At first there seemed to be a possibility of staying home, but that had been a trick of the mind. Jasper had done it. He'd killed much more than I had. I could even see it in him now as he stood next to me. The thrust hadn't left him. No matter how much he resisted he was different from the others. I could see myself in his eyes.

"Go away Jasper"

"No Edward. I'm here to help"

"Don't lie to me Jasper. I know you don't want to be here. Make it easier and leave". He took in an unnecessary breath and exhaled. _I want to help you Edward. This is kind of my subject of expertise. If you let me I could show you how._ My eyes shot up at him. What had he said? "Show me how to what?"

"I know the thirst Edward. I know how it feels to want. The pain it causes"

"You couldn't possibly know-"

"Every thought is invaded with the hunger. Even those you claim to love become the meal. _Like Bella_". My head dropped into my hands. Pulling at my hair I hissed through my teeth.

"Don't think her name!"

"I'm sorry Edward, but it's true. You would kill her"

"NO!" I couldn't! I wouldn't! Why was he doing this to me?! I'd managed to not think about her for a whole of three minutes and he ruined it. Every thought I had was invaded by her. Jasper was wrong. I wasn't invaded by the thirst. It was her that filled my every thought. Nothing I thought of, nothing my eyes ever laid on didn't somehow connect to her. She was ruining me. _Just let me speak Edward_.

"It's awful, but it's true. And it's not entirely your fault". Was he in denial? Of coarse it was my fault. If I even remotely had the weakness to kill her then I would be souly responsible. Nobody could hurt Bella because I would never let it happen. But if the killer was me then what would I do? Would I be able to push back my thirst. I had done it before, but back then I hadn't been feeding on humans. I couldn't possibly think on how her blood would sing to me now. I shuddered at that. The mess I was getting myself into was making me more human every day. No, not human. I could only wish for that. I was becoming some sort of demon worse than what I already was. Something worse than a vampire. But I was changing. I could actually feel pain now. My anger wasn't controllable and I'd become careless. In my former days I could have gotten out of here by now. I'd had the opportunity. A couple of nights ago Carlisle had left for some reason that he wouldn't share with me. He had purposely been hiding certain thoughts from me. But that night he wasn't here and I knew then that I could have gotten out. Without him there I'd be able to give in. Maybe it was some sort of test to see if I was getting better. If their help was improving me. If only they knew how dead wrong they all were. I wasn't getting better. I was getting worse. If anything I wanted to kill more than ever now. Maybe even enough to get past my family by all extremes. Jasper shot me a look of understanding.

"Please Edward. Just let me help you". I closed my eyes, using all my strength to keep them shut. I didn't want to see his face.

"I don't deserve your help". He slumped slightly in defeat. I didn't understand this? Why was he acting so human around me. With other people around it was necessary, but it was just me. Another vampire. Why was he keeping the act? With that Carlisle walked in.

"He does it because that's what we all do. You'd remember it Edward if you'd only put back your thirst". I did remember it. What fools we were. Trying to play pretend and mask our true selves as humans. Trying to kid ourselves that we were people. I lost all train of thought then. I was so thirsty. Pumping of blood rang in my ears. My tongue slid across my bottom lip. Quickly I was entering my own personal hell.

"Who is here?", I hissed thought my teeth. Carlisle and Jasper both turned to look at each other. Both questioning my statement. Could they not smell it? It was invigorating.

"What do you mean Edward?" Then it hit him. Instantly Carlisle's eyes widened in fear. _There's a human here! No! This will ruin everything! It's much to early for that!_"Jasper go upstairs and get everybody. Tell them all to come down here now! Make sure Esme takes care of whoever that is!". Almost as quick as Carlisle spoke, Jasper was on his heels already out of sight. My chest started heaving in and out. Nothing made sense to me. My ears rang with the sound of my pray. I closed my eyes and watched as the blood pumped through this humans heart. I was so thirsty. Without warning Carlisle was at my face. _Don't do it Edward. This isn't you. This isn't my son._ I didn't care what he thought. All I wanted was my deathly thirst to be quenched. I wanted my relief. Vaguely I heard the room filling. It was all muffled. Second rate to the beat in my ears. Rosalie spoke first.

"Oh God! What is wrong with him?!" Emmett answered.

"He's loosing it. What are we suppose to do?".

Alice spoke. "We stop him". Everyone looked at the short fairy like figure. She hadn't spoken to anyone in days. Refusing to see me, she felt ashamed to all her family. I could hear this in her thoughts. She hated me and was ashamed of it. Why was that? Hadn't I deserved to be hated? Hadn't I done enough to make her feel right by her judgments? _Baaaboom baaaaboom baaaaboom_. The sound was getting heavier. I could smell the beat of the heart and I wanted to tear it out and suck from it. I saw red dripping from my lips and an image of myself feasting. Then I was scared. I didn't want this. I didn't want to kill. I just wanted everything to be normal. It was a long stretch, but it could be possible. Maybe I could change. Maybe I could be Edward.

"HEEEELP MEEEE!", I screamed. Then I heard their thoughts come together in union. _Finally_.All of them, even Alice ran to me. Each of them grabbing on to some piece of my body to hold me down. I tugged and pushed, but their strength combined was too much. With each hiss and scream that spilled from my mouth I knew nothing could come out of it. My family was here. They were stopping me and I was letting them.


	20. Eggs

Disclaimer: (I own a stuffed dinosaur named Ben, but I do not own Twilight)

_please review guys  
i love writing, but the responses make it all the better  
oh, on a funny note...who thinks jacob is a horndog?! cause if not, you will after this chapter!  
ha ha i love werewolves :)_

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

**Eggs  
**_or  
_**(Super Powered Hearing Wolf People)  
**_haha that one was just for jokes_

I should have known it wouldn't have been that easy. After three tries I gave up. If he wasn't going to answer the phone then I would just have to go there myself. Jake took the distance back that he had given. He grabbed me into an impossibly large hug and brushed aside my hair from my face.

"Bella?"

"Yes?" He tightened his hold.

"Although I love you and everything about you drives me crazy", he winced, "I think you could use a shower". His eyes darted towards the bathroom. I looked over as well. "I'm pretty sure Leah isn't in there anymore". Great. Now the boy who runs around in the dirt all day is calling me stinky. I raised an eyebrow. "No offence", he smiled while running his nose along my neck and pausing there. A warm whisper met my ear. "I could join you, you know if you wanted me to". I pushed back only to see a giant grin taking place on his face.

"Jacob Black!" His grin grew even more. "I think I'll be just fine showering alone!" He didn't seem embarrassed or even taken back by this. He knew the house was full of super powered hearing wolf people and he knew I wouldn't say yes.

"Okay. Whatever you want". With that he grabbed for the closet door and pulled out an orange towel. "Here you go. Enjoy". I took it with a questioning gaze. He was just a little too happy at the moment. But I chose to step out of his grasp and head for the shower. It really was about time I'd gotten the bathroom. Leah was such a hog.

With the door shut behind me I pulled back the curtain revealing a small tiled bath tub. I hadn't realized until now that I hadn't seen Jacob's bathroom before. It was small, but that wasn't a surprise. Everything here was small. Except for all the werewolves. I laughed at that. Picturing everyone in here probably made Jake's house look like a small car full of clowns. A much too small space for much to large people. The shortest one had to be Leah and she was at least six two. Realizing that I got a picture of myself. I must look like a midget around them. I turned the facet and watched as the seaming water started to fill the empty air. Stripping off my cloths I looked in the mirror and examined my face. I was much to normal for my own good. I just couldn't see what Jacob could see in me. _What made me so special? _Deciding that the water was now hot enough to get in, I pulled back the curtain and placed myself under the hot streams. God it had been a while since I'd had a good shower. Seeing that my arms were covered in dirt I glanced down at my legs which were also stained with brown. No wonder Jacob wanted me to shower. Who would want to touch a mud person? Grabbing at the soap I started my attempt to rid myself of my mud persona when I heard the door creak open._ Hadn't I locked it?_ It was probably Jake trying to further persuade me into sharing my shower. I figured I'd tease him. Lifting up my arms I slowly started to massage the shampoo into my hair. I was certain the shadow I caste on the certain was driving him wild.

"Don't go getting all hot and bothered. It's just me". My mouth dropped in surprise along with my arms. This defiantly was not Jacob. _But why would she be in here? What could she possibly want? _I popped my head outside the curtain taking in all that was my surprise. Instead of speaking I growled.

"What do you want Leah?" She sat gripping onto the toilet cover. Whatever she wanted it must have been important. Otherwise she wouldn't have been acknowledging my existence at the moment.

"I wanted to speak to you". I cast a glare.

"Did it have to be while I was in the shower?" She dropped her gaze.

"Well this was the only time I could find. Everyone else seems to always be around, but Sam just had them all go out scouting". I scrunched up the curtain.

"Then why aren't you with them?" She grimaced with this question.

"Sam didn't find it necessary to send me out. He wants to keep as many of us safe as he can. Plus someone needed to stay with you". I crumpled inside at this. Where Jacob was wasn't safe? Could he be in trouble? I'd been so careful to keep him in my sight and now with taking a simple shower Sam had managed to drag him away from me! Leah caught my panic. "It's fine Bella. Jake's fine. They're just running around looking for scents". I felt better with this. My calm started to come back.

"So what do you want Leah?" She scowled and almost didn't speak. A minute passed until she finally opened her mouth.

"Bella…I…well you see….". What was she getting at? I just wanted to take my shower and wait for Jacob to come home. "Bella I don't really hate you….I just don't like you". Well that was interesting. Leah didn't hate me, she just didn't like me. I wasn't sure where she was going with this so I just blurted it out.

"I don't really care how you feel about me Leah. Truthfully I don't like you either". Her tension lessened as she placed her hands in her lap.

"Well good". _Good_? This girl was mental. "I just wanted you to know that I didn't hate you. Really there's nothing personal about it". I wasn't sure how to take this statement. Was it a compliment or an insult? I guess I didn't really care. Leah wasn't among the people that I tried to please. With that she stood up and left the bathroom. I pulled my head back into the shower and caught myself in thought. _What the hell was that? _It was weird is what it was. I figured I wasn't going to get much out of what just happened until I'd talked to Jacob, so I continued with my shower and ignored it.

…

When he finally returned it was dark out. I had already given up and was now laying in his bed reading a book. The door bounced open and hit the wall. Jacob blushed as he shut the door. I leaned forward and noticed a hole roughly the size of the door knob that was now in the wall. Flipping through the pages I giggled.

"Don't know your own strength do you wolf boy?" He tore off his shirt and threw it into a pile on the floor. It looked far past mending possibilities. I guess it didn't matter since I didn't know how to sew. I continued to unceremoniously flip through the pages of the book, trying my hardest to not take in all that was him. He wasn't going to win me over tonight. Because of him I had to go through that awkward and pointless talk with Leah. He'd thrown me to the dogs yet again. Well dog I guess. There was just the one. He snuck up on the bed and laid himself next to me, letting me take in the sent that was him. He smelled of wood and earth. Nothing smelled so good to me until now. A warm hand slid it's way up my leg leaving a fiery path. I fidgeted and almost dropped my book. A roar of laughter expelled from his mouth.

"Bella honey, why are you reading the manual to my Volkswagen rabbit?" I slid my fingers along the pages still keeping the book as a mask. Shielding myself from my own personal god.

"If you must know, it's very interesting". He laughed and placed his other hand on the book, pulling it down from my face. It fell to my lap.

"What interest do you have in Volkswagens?" I figured I could play this for all that I could. A smile crept on my face.

"For all you know I'm the president of a Volkswagen enthusiast club". He pulled the book off my lap and quickly glanced at the cover.

"Tell me then. What is the highest speed a rabbit can reach with a used engine?" I rolled my eyes.

"You know I don't know that". He placed his hand on my hip and traced a circle.

"Good. I would have been worried if you had". He leaned down and placed a heated kiss on my shoulder. A shiver shot through me. He breathed against my skin, almost ready to go further. Then I remembered what I had been trying to do.

"You don't know the answer either". He stopped and caught my glance.

"Yes I do!" I pushed back a mess of black hair from his face.

"Then why can't you get the rabbit on the road? I'm pretty sure I saw it still on cinderblocks in the garage". He frowned.

"It just needs a little work". Then his faced light up. "I betcha I could get it running tonight!" I questionably lifted an eyebrow. He grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bed without a struggle. Walking with quick strides he pulled me through the door. I stopped my feet causing him to turn. He questioned my lack of movement with a stare.

"Where are we going Jacob?"

"To the garage. I'm gonna get the Rabbit running tonight!" He tugged at my arm, but I stayed firm.

"Jacob". He smiled with eagerness to prove me wrong. "Mike is in the garage". His grin dropped.

"Oh"

"So do you want to go back to bed now?" Instantly his eyes grew followed by a mischievous smirk. "I didn't mean like _that_". But he was already to far gone. Without restrain he pulled my face to his and scooped me up into his arms. In almost a run he made our way to his room. Shutting the door with his foot he cut the time in half to get to the bed. I found myself being pushed back into the blankets. Opening my eyes I looked up to see my beautiful La Push boy. Years ago I would never have pictured myself with someone like him. I'd figured myself to end up with a Mike or an Eric, but I'd gotten Jacob. I smiled under his weight. He was perfect in every single way. The moonlight shining in through the window caught his back and made his skin glow. Nothing had ever looked so beautiful before. I was in awe at his features. An anticipating growl rumbled from his chest. Although I wanted him. _Oh god did I want him_. I just couldn't do it. Not right now. I had questions to ask. I opened my mouth fully intending to speak when a Jacob sized finger planted it's self on my lips, pausing all possibility of speech. Then without warning my trembling lips met his and all I had planned was lost. Intense fire engulfed me and with it Jacob consumed what was left. His hands, his legs, his mouth, every part of him was reaching out to me. And I was reaching back.

…

The morning sun lit up the room and woke me with it's warmth. Somehow Jacob had rolled over to the other side of the bed. A whole foot from myself. How he did it, I didn't know. For the life of me I couldn't keep myself from him. He was like a magnet meant just for me. With that thought I crawled up close to him, letting my body heat against his. A moan broke from his sleep and he turned to face me. His eyes fluttered open and caught my face. Then possibly the largest grin I'd ever seen took over his mouth. Stretching from ear to ear.

"Good morning". A smile similar to his caught my face.

"Good morning". With that he took a hold of my hips and flipped me on top of him. His hands stroked my back, pulling me closer to his body. Leaning in for the kiss I gasped as he set heated kisses along my neck. Last night had been heaven and if this meant a repeat then I was all for it. Then the door swung open and a very embarrassed Seth dropped his jaw as he took in the scene. Quickly I grabbed at the blankets in a rush to cover myself. Doing so uncovered Jacob. My mouth dropped with the sight.

"I am so sorry. I didn't….wow….I mean I didn't-". Jacob cut him off.

"GET OUT OF HERE SETH!" Almost as quick as the door had opened, it closed. With eyes as wide as oranges I sat in shock. _Had Seth just seen me naked?! _Then Jacob broke my horror filled silence. "You took all the covers", his eyebrow edged into an arc. Embarrassingly I glanced down and quickly darted my eyes up to the ceiling. A roar like laugh escaped from his lips. "Did you just look away?" His hands found my neck as he started to slowly circle his thumbs just behind my ears. I couldn't not look down. Doing so made him glow with giddiness. White teeth against dark skin broke out, unleashing laugh after laugh. By now my cheeks were the brightest shade of pink and I was thoroughly embarrassed.

"Don't laugh Jake", I whispered. Instantly his face hardened. All laughs ceased.

"Bella. Excuse me for finding this humorous, but you just blushed at the sight of me". I recoiled.

"Well Seth just…he just saw everything". He laughed.

"Yeah of me, not you! You took the blankets remember?" The laughs continued.

"I'm pretty sure he saw me". With that he flipped himself above me. Both elbows holding his whole weight up so as not to crush me.

"Bella, I can hear his thoughts. I think I'd know if he saw you or not". Breathing in deep I accepted this. Maybe he hadn't seen me. It did happen pretty quick and I was pretty fast with the sheets.

"Okay, he didn't see me". With that he groaned, sneaking his face against my neck. Starting back to where he'd left off. For a brief second he paused at my ear. A whisper of hot breath blew past me.

"I saw you and you know what?" I moaned with an attempt to answer. "You were hot!" _Oh god I wanted him! I wanted him now! _His mouth finally reached my lips, letting a fire erupt within my chest. Each heightened heartbeat threatened my ability to move. _Not to mention my ability to breath_. Slowly his tongue pushed past my lips and searched along my mouth, pausing at my bottom lip. There he nipped, causing my body to push up against his. Letting my hands brush across his chest I felt the heat of his skin. My roaming hands met his and he pushed himself up and sat looking down at me. I shuddered in echsisity. He pulled back even further, causing my arms to reach out for him to make contact. Then he was up. Pulling on a pair of black and beaten sweatpants he, to my despair, covered himself. He laughed as he caught the expression on my face.

"There's too many ears in the house right now". He kissed the top of my head and messed with my hair. "I'll get us something to eat". With that he swayed out the door. And there I sat, hot with longing and utterly alone. _What a butthead_. Starting something like that and not continuing it! _He truly was a turd_. I gathered the blankets and wrapped them around myself. Trying as gracefully as I could I stalked over to the door and let it shut with a thud. Heading back to the bed the blanket got the best of me and tripped me to the floor. With a thump my face hit the floor. From my view I barley caught the sight of my underwear by the dresser. _So there they were_. Quickly grabbing them I pulled those on with a quick jerk. Once I'd found all my cloths and was fully dressed I sat back on the bed. With my knees held up to my chin I sat in wait. Thinking back at last night send stars in my head. Jacob and I had, well we had a pretty nifty time. It was beyond nifty it was astonishing. Breathtaking. With a growl my stomach told me it was beyond time to eat. Jacob was taking too long. Another growl hit my ears. That was all I could wait, I had to eat. Stepping into the kitchen instantly I regretted my impatience. Standing there was everyone, except Billy. _Thank god Billy wasn't there_. Quil walked up to me and winked.

"So I heard you guys had a visitor this morning". Jacob shot him a glare that if looks could kill, this one ripped off Quils face.

"Shut the hell up Quil!" Then almost as if nothing was said everyone one sat down and continued eating. Jacob handed me a plate and piled a mound of the yellow squishy substance on it. Smiling I took the plate from his hands and sat down next to Seth. Without a word Seth's cheeks turned a bright crimson color. His eyes darted down at me and quickly shot back to his plate. There was no question about it. He had seen me. I shot Jacob a glare that made him smirk an apology. There wasn't much we could do about it now. It had happened and it would be painfully awkward. Staring down at my plate I spooned some egg into my mouth. Swallowing deep I let the yellow food fill my empty gut. It was good. Then I looked around the table with a questioning gaze. Quil was here. Embry was here. Seth was definitely here. Jacob stood at the counter scarfing down the last of the eggs and Sam sat with the rest around the TV. Someone was missing. Eyeing Jacob I asked.

"Jacob, where is Leah?" Each pair of eyes caught my attention as they seared into me. Maybe they had been asking the same question themselves. Jacob shrugged.

"I think she's in the garage". Taking in a breath I dropped my spoon. The door to the garage was open. Nobody ever left it open. Both Seth and Sam's eyes widened as they understood my question. Rushing to the door Sam broke out into the crisp fall air, letting the wind break through the kitchen. All of us, including myself stood up from our breakfast and stared out the window. Mouths hung open and eyes dead struck we all stood in silence.


	21. Wolfy Ways

Disclaimer: (There's no place like Forks. There's no place like Forks. There's no place like Forks. Thanks to Stephenie)

_hey dudes and dudettes...sorry this took so long, but i was suffering from the evil monster called writersblock  
i really hope this writing is up to par...because i truly had a treacherous time getting it to work  
thank-you for all the reviews and hopefully the next chapter will be up this weekend  
peace out :)_

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

**Wolfy Ways**

Flying through the already open door, Sam entered the garage. After a few seconds of blank awe finally the others followed. Watching through the kitchen window I could see a group forming around the open door. Glancing around I realized that I was the last one still sitting at the table. Just me and six plates of eggs. Jumping to my feet I ran to the growing commotion, just in time to see Sam standing with balled fists holding a dead on stare. A roar erupted from his mouth.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING LEAH?!". Two jolted heads turned to the outburst. One with a quizzical stare and the other with a smirk.

"I'm feeding him breakfast". Everyone's eyes dropped to the plate in her lap. Sure enough it was half loaded with the yellow eggs we'd all been feasting on. Leah dropped the fork in her hand. A growl passed her teeth. "What's it to you?!" A wide smile started to spread across Mike's face. Sam took an angered step forward, forcing the plate from Leah's lap. Tossing it into the wall he answered.

"You know that the door is to be closed at all times!" A nasty glare formed across his face. "And who told _you_ to feed it?!" Leah twisted from her chair, making a statement to stand as close as possible to Sam without touching him.

"_It_ has a name!" Both stood without movement. Just pure hatred. No. Maybe hatred wasn't the word. I did know that Sam loved Leah. Just not in the way he loved Emily. And it was a fact to all that Leah loved Sam. This just wasn't their normal tangle of emotion. I didn't know what to make of it? Just then I noticed Mike peer across the room. How he saw me past all the giant tan gods, I didn't know. A smirk snaked across his face.

"Hey Bella!" Defensively pulling me to his side, Jacob let a sneer mock his face. Quietly I answered, which was more than he deserved.

"Hello Mike". Hearing my voice he quickly lessened his grin. The sight of Jacob claiming his territory was apparently too much for him. Leah flipped her hair with a jerk and eyed me. All "friendliness" she had given me earlier was absent in her glare. Some how I had managed to cross her by a simple hello. With a quick second thought she turned her glare onto Sam. A hiss broke through her teeth.

"Why are you still here?!" Struck by surprise Sam recoiled a step back. Arching a brow slightly he un-balled his fists and pushed his way out the door. Everyone of us let our eyes follow him as he stomped across the grass and retreated back into the house. In union our gazes went back to Leah. A questioning look glued to each of our faces. _Since when had Sam fallen to Leah's bitchiness?_ Caught up in the moment, I didn't even realized when Jacob had pulled me out of the garage. Each of us piled back into the house, Seth lingering slightly behind. I pulled Jacobs arm resulting in him looking down at me. His brows formed a similar arc to that of Sam's. But this one was more questioning than bewilderment.

"Bella?"

"What just happened?" He answered with a simple shrug. I hated shrugs. They were lame excuses for answers. Seth brushed past me, making his way through the door. Clearly only one thing on his mind.

"I hope there's still some eggs left". Once Seth was inside Jacob took a hold of my cheeks and roughly planted a kiss on my parted lips. It was nice, but besides the point, he still hadn't given me an answer. When he broke apart from the kiss I asked him again.

"Tell me Jacob. What just went on?" Biting his lip an audible answer finally came.

"I don't know". Then he was inside the kitchen without a second to spare. Reluctantly I followed in. To my surprise everyone was back to how they were before. Even Sam sat at the TV, holding the remote in his hand. The only difference was Seth frowning at Jacob.

"You knew I wanted the eggs". A smirk crawled across Jacobs face. Taking my seat next to Seth I started back in with my eggs. Taking one bite I soon realized they were cold. What heat was left wasn't enough to make them even slightly edible. Cold eggs were gross. Slowly Jacob lifted a spoonful of the yellow food into his mouth, letting a slight groan escape his lips. He flashed a tongue across his mouth and went in for another bite. Like a bolt of lightning Seth burst from his seat. Within seconds he was on top of Jacob, holding a spoon to his neck. A shocked expression crossed his face.

"Wow Seth. If I'd known how much you loved eggs I would have saved some". Tightening the spoon in his grasp Seth growled.

"Liar! You're eating them in spite of me. I bet you're not even hungry!" A laugh escaped my mouth and everyone turned to me. I couldn't help myself. To think of Jake not being hungry. Everyone here had the appetite of a bear, including Jacob. "What's so funny Bella?" Seth seemed serious, so I answered serious.

"You are fighting over eggs. _Cold_ eggs". Just then the door burst open and a very smart looking Leah walked in. Passing the couch, she heading straight for the refrigerator. She opened the door and peered in, apparently looking for something. Jacob pushed Seth off from top of him and lifted himself up with his elbows.

"What are you doing Leah?" She turned her gaze to meet his.

"Getting some food". One of Jacob's eyebrows arched.

"This isn't your house. You don't just take my food so you can share if with that kid". A sneer hit her face.

"He is not a kid. He's older than you Jacob". Realizing that this was a fact, Jacob decided to let that one go. But he wasn't quite done.

"All the same, it's my food and he is _not_welcome to it". From the corner of my eye I could see Sam turn his attention to the scene. He dropped the remote and started for the door. Holding it open he motioned for everyone to leave.

"I think it's time we all got out of the house. There is work to be done and we need to spend more time tracking the other pacts sent". Leah frowned and shut the fridge door.

"That's bullshit Sam. You know we've been out there all week smelling about. And we haven't found anything helpful". Sam took a quick stride up to her, causing her to shrink in size. By all means it wasn't her attitude that decreased, rather her height. Sam was a good foot taller than Leah. Instead of pushing the argument further he started his orders.

"Embry and Quil, you can head out along First Beach". Both boys nodded their heads, already in movement out the door. "Seth and Leah, head for Rialto Beach. If I remember, Jacob caught a sent close to there". Jacob nodded his head in agreement. The expression on Leah's face made it apparent that she didn't agree with this command.

"Then why don't you send Jake!" Sam walked back over to the TV and shut it off. Slowly he turned back to Leah.

"Just do what I say Leah. Don't fight it". As if he had stabbed her in the back she huffed and stomped out the door. Back at the kitchen counter Seth's eyes bulged and his mouth flung open.

"I am not scouting with her! She's psycho!" Sam gave Seth a glare. Half impatient, half understanding. He knew how Leah could be.

"She's your sister Seth". Jacob let a laugh fall from his mouth. Sam turned his gaze to him. "And Jacob, you can stay here with Bella". Seth's jaw dropped again.

"That's not fair! He only gets to stay because she's his girlfriend!" Sam pointed his finger at the door, ordering Seth to get a move on. Reluctantly Seth dropped his spoon and walked past Sam. Just as he passed through the door a stray mumble caught our ears. "He knew I wanted the eggs". After the door shut Sam walked over towards Jacob. Placing a hand on his shoulder he started to speak.

"Jacob I want you to keep an eye on the garage. Make sure no one gets in or out". Then he eyed me. "No one". Jacob shrugged in agreement. With that Sam heading for the door. "I'll be scouting by Emily's. Don't expect me until late. Maybe tomorrow". Then he was out the door. Now with everyone gone I shot my eyes at Jacob, who was smiling quite expectantly.

"What are you smiling for?" From behind the counter his grin grew colossal.

"We're alone". An eyebrow raised as he continued. "Nobody's around". My mouth dropped into the shape of an "o". Instantly he flew from the counter and picked me up from the kitchen chair.

"What about my eggs?" He let another smile creep past his face.

"You don't want them. They're cold". I frowned.

"Maybe I like cold eggs". He shifted my weight in his arms and bounced me closer to himself. A smirk finally took over his smiling face.

"I saw the face you made when you took that bite. Besides I have other things in mind". I forced a playful glare onto him. This effected him in no way.

"Oh really. And what exactly do you have in mind?" He lowered his nose to my neck and sniffed.

"Maybe some scouting of my own". Slowly he breathed in and nuzzled his nose against my neck. Tickling sensations ran down my spine. Then an idea came to me. I knew exactly how I would get some answers from him. A smile formed on my face. I would trick him.

"On the couch". His face questioned my statement.

"The couch?" I smirked again before I explained.

"Take me to the couch". Once realization hit him, he started for the living room with me in his arms. In a speedy fashion he lowered me on the cushion and situated himself above me. Taking in a deep breath he lowered his nose against my neck and kissed the skin just behind my ear. Although it felt good. _Really good_. I had to stop it. This time I was going to get some answers. Jacob and his wolfy ways weren't going to trick me out of it this time. I had to have some sort of self control eventually. Slowly I brought trembling hands up to his face and held his gaze to mine. Then he did something that forced me to question his sanity. He started sniffing around. First at the couch cushion, then along my arm. Pausing at my shoulder he took in another deep breath. I let out a giggle.

"What are you doing?" He looked up in my eyes and sniffed again at my shoulder.

"I'm scouting". He worked his way up my neck and behind my ear. I closed my eyes, giving up on my plan. The exhale of his breathing made my hair tingle and flutter back.

"Have you found anything?" Opening my eyes to see his answer I took notice of his smile. It wasn't cocky or overdone. It was sweet. Pure sincerity. He let out another breath against my neck and moved up to my hair. Taking in the deepest of inhales, he surrounded his nose in my messy curls.

"Yeah", he breathed. I smiled again.

"What did you find?". He joined my smile with his. He seemed confidant.

"You". Then he pulled away from my hair and searched through my eyes. After a few seconds he lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine. My head started to spin. My plan was going horribly wrong and he was the reason. Maybe his wolfy ways would get me this time. Perhaps I really didn't have any self control. Then he pulled back. Once realization told me that he was no longer touching me I opened my eyes and saw a wide smirk on his face. I leaned forward to try to close the much hated distance. He simply laughed.

"Bella, you really have no chance". I furrowed my eyebrows. What was he talking about?

"No chance with what?"

"You had no intention in kissing me just now. You wanted to ask me something and now you have no chance on getting it answered". A crooked grin took over his smirk.

"Is that so?", I asked. He laughed again.

"Yeah". He leaned back in and ran a finger along my arm, sending shivers down my body. Curling my toes on the couch I knew that he was right. "You're hopeless Bella Swan". I stopped his hand and pushed myself up.

"Please Jacob?". He scrunched up his nose and smiled.

"Fine, but you'll have to do something for me"

"What?"

"You have to tell me something". I pulled my arms together and crossed them against my chest with a pout.

"Fine"

"Do you love me?" His eyes widened with anticipation. This I did not understand. Why would he be anticipating my answer. He knew it already. He knew that I loved him more than anything in the world. He was my world. I answered him with all the seriousness I could muster.

"Of course I love you". His eyes didn't seem to accept this. I pulled his face into my hands and told him again. "I love you Jacob". Then he limped into my hands and smiled. I hated that he was so self deflating. Why did he not trust me? Was I that much of a hurtful person to him? I stroked his face and knew that there would be no one else for me. Jacob was my one. I couldn't even consider another possibility. I loved him.

"I love you too", he smiled. "Now, what did you want to ask me?". I straightened myself on the couch and placed my hands on my lap.

"I have some questions about Leah"


	22. Leah

Disclaimer: (I OWN TWILIGHT...if only it was true)

_i've got a couple chapters written for you guys...so yay for the end of writersblock!  
yeah, so the following chapters will be pretty sad  
-sorry-  
the depressive stuff is about to ensue...but don't worry, the comic relief will come in a couple chapters :)_

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

**Leah**

Jacob dropped his smile and brought the much needed serious atmosphere into the room. Something that had been lacking for a long time. I had some questions and I wanted some answers. Finally he spoke.

"What do you want to know about Leah?" In my head I had a silent victory dance. I had finally won! Stopping the personal celebration I asked my first question.

"I want to know what just happened in the garage". At first he didn't seem like he was going to answer until he broke his stare.

"She imprinted on Mike". Sitting on the couch I fell back into the cushion. My hair puffed out in front of my face, hiding my surprise. Once I got my senses I opened my mouth.

"Leah imprinted on Mike!" I knew what he said, but I just didn't believe it! Leah, the werewolf bitch queen had imprinted on Mike, the annoying boy who worked at the local supermarket! Jacob grabbed my hands and held them firmly.

"It happens to the best of us Bella". A small smirk took his face. "I didn't expect it to happen. Neither did Leah". My jaw dropped.

"You didn't expect to imprint on me?" Very quickly Jacobs grin turned into a frown.

"That is not what I meant", he paused for a second. "I've dreamed of imprinting on you for a long time. Believe me, if I could have sooner I would have". That made my insides turn to fluff. Jacob truly had been devoted to me for a long time. Even when he wasn't mystically in love with me, he had wished he was. Werewolves made love into something much more confusing than normal love. They made it in the best form of the word, official. I brought my jaw back to its normal place and smiled, letting a small breath escape my lips.

"Oh"

"Bella, imprinting is some weird business. We don't even know how it really works. We just know that once it happens there is nothing else but that one person. Nothing else matters". I loved to hear him say this, but I needed to know more about Leah.

"Yesterday Leah came to me in the shower". Instantly his eyebrows rose and a giant smirk invaded his face.

"You and Leah took a shower. Together?"

"NO!" I punched him on the leg. "She came in to talk to me!" Giving up on his little joke he sat in await for me to continue. "She wanted to tell me that she didn't hate me. That there was nothing personal about it, but she just didn't like me". He didn't seem to get the point.

"Wait. Leah doesn't hate you?". A small glare formed on my face.

"Is that so hard to believe?". He ran a hand through his hair and laughed.

"Well yeah". Ignoring his comment I continued.

"I was wondering what she meant by it was nothing personal?" Jacob leaned into the couch and let out a huff of air.

"Bella, she loves Mike. Just because she imprinted on him doesn't mean he's going to imprint on her". Then I understood. Leah was worried that Mike wouldn't imprint on her. That she would yet again be on the absent side of love. Love without return. Just what she had had with Sam. She was worried that maybe her hate for me was holding her back. Just then I felt bad for her. Who could live knowing that the person you loved didn't love you back? Stuck in a pit of darkness all by yourself? Then Jacob laughed. I didn't like it, he was laughing while Leah was hurting. It just felt wrong.

"Wouldn't it be funny if he imprinted on you!" With that my jaw dropped. I hadn't even thought of that. All the signs were there. He'd always been hopelessly drooling over me and somehow he knew when I was in the garage even when everyone else stood in front of me. He had looked past Leah to say hello to me. His liking for me had become something more than a crush. It had become something possibly more official. What if he had imprinted on me?! I didn't know what to think. Apparently Jacob noticed my freak out because I soon found his arms holding me down.

"Are you okay Bells? I was just joking, it's not like he'd actually imprint on you". Turning my gaze to his I spoke.

"What if he did?" Then a serious tone smoothed over Jake. Instantly his hands formed balls and his eyes hardened. "I mean it's not like he can choose who he imprints on".

"No"

"No what?"

"No, he won't imprint on you"

"But Jake-". He took a hold of my hands and pulled me to him.

"You. Are. Mine.", he huffed through his teeth. Unsure of what to do I chose to push myself back. Why had Jacob become so possessive? Didn't he understand that he was my one and only someone like I was his? Didn't he know that his imprint had worked both ways? I was just as connected to him as he was connected to me. Then it hit me. A sharp pain jabbed in my stomach and instantly I felt the need to heave. If I was feeling this connected to Jacob, then how would I feel if Mike imprinted on me? Would my feelings change? Could they? Incoherent mumbles started to spill from my mouth.

"No Jacob. No. No. No. No." I couldn't! I wouldn't allow this to happen! Life had just gotten livable and now Mike Newton was screwing it up! That stupid boy with his stupid hair and his stupid grin. I hated him. I absolutely hated Mike Newton. Tightening his grip around me, I could feel the start of Jacobs convulses. Looking into his eyes I could see that he wouldn't last much longer.

"Bella-"

"Go Jacob". His face scrunched up and his eyes seemed to have turned pitch black. I took his hand in mine. "Just be quick". With that he tore himself off the couch and sprinted through the door. Looking through the window I could see just the end of his transformation. If I had been able to phase I would have too. What had just happened ruined everything. And even though nothing had actually happened yet, the possibly still lingered. An evil, terrible possibility. I would not love Mike Newton. I just wouldn't.

…

Twenty minutes had passed and Jacob was still running. I couldn't blame him, he hadn't phased in two days. Sometimes I wished I was the one who could turn into a wolf at a whim. He must have felt so free. No matter how much the thought of Mike made me sick I couldn't stop my eyes from looking over at the garage. Just behind that small blue door sat the reason for what had just happened. He had ruined everything. A rumble from my stomach interrupted my thoughts. Standing up from the couch I decided it was time for some lunch. Maybe I'd surprise Jacob with something good to eat. Soon after opening one of the cupboards I remembered that I could not cook anything with what was there. A box of spaghetti, a jar of molasses and a bag of chocolate chips probably wouldn't mix too well. Reluctantly opening the fridge I pulled out a loaf of bread and a jar of jelly. I guess PB&J would have to do. Slowly turning my head I could see the small blue door outside the window. _Why did it keep catching my eye?_ Without a second thought I dropped the bread and headed for the door. If Mike was going to ruin everything then I was going to ruin him. Once I stood outside the door I stopped for a moment to decide whether or not I actually wanted to go in there. _What if he already imprinted one me?_ Pulling at the door, I swung it open. To hell with logic, I was mad. The sound of my footsteps echoed in my ears. In the corner sat the lump of a figure I'd been fuming about. As soon as he realized who was intruding on him a smile broke his face.

"Bella!"

"Shut up Mike!" With my explosion his lips curled into a low frown. Clearly he hadn't expected me to be in such a temper. Thinking back on it, I guess it was the first time he'd really seen me angry. But he was in my world now, things were bound to surprise him. I grabbed a chair and pulled it in front of him. Never taking my gaze off him as I sat down. The feeling of revulsion took over my stomach. Just the sight of him made me want to puke. I hated him and everything he stood for. Everything he could change. After a few moments of staring he spoke up.

"Bella, I-"

"No Mike, don't talk". Running a hand across my face I continued. "You must know by now that Leah imprinted on you. And because of this things have gotten…out of hand. You were once my friend so I won't just throw you to the dogs, but", and with this I leaned in close to his face, "if you mess up what me and Jacob have I will personally make you wish you never lived". His eyes bugged out of his head. "Got it?" Shifting in discomfort he answered.

"We aren't friends Bella?" Sitting back in shock, I didn't even hear the door open. Bursting through the opening a tall tan girl burst into the garage.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Instantly turning in my chair I caught a full view of Leah's mangled face. I'd never seen her so mad. All of a sudden I found myself against the wall with Leah's arm at my throat. I could hear Mike pull at his chains.

"What the fuck Bella! Sam said to stay out of the garage!" Trying to catch enough oxygen to speak I managed to spit out a few words.

"Leah I-". Then I saw Jacob fly through the open door and attack her. Shock flew through her eyes as she bounced off the floor. Without her to hold me up my feet hit the floor, crumpling me into a heap. Once I was able to look up all I could see was two very pissed off werewolves going at it. Well not werewolves yet, but pretty darn close. If they didn't end this soon then Leah would be out of a pretty nice pair of jeans.

"DAMMIT LEAH!" He pulled off from her, causing her to fall to the floor. "Where do you get off attacking Bella!" She steadied herself and brushed off her jeans.

"It was her own damn fault! Sam said not to come in here and she came in anyway!" Jacob circled over to stand in front of me.

"Then why are you here?" She seemed to have caught the flaw in her plan because the excuses started to spill.

"I have my reasons", she spat through her teeth. Jacob rose in volume.

"Just because you imprinted on the freak doesn't mean you're an exception to the rules!" Just then Mike tried to scoot his chair around so he could see the current argument. I turned from my view from Leah to watch him. For some reason his expression was one of confusion. Apparently he hadn't seen them fight before. He started to speak.

"Excuse me, but what the hell is imprinting?" Both Leah and Jacob shot their heads back to look at Mike. Both of them kind of surprised to hear his voice. Jacob spoke first.

"What?"

Mike repeated his question. "What is imprinting?" With that Jacob turned to Leah with a small smirk on the corner of his mouth.

"You haven't told him yet?" Leah flew a hand through her hair and ran a hand down her face.

"No". Still Mike carried a face of confusion. He asked again.

"Imprinting?" Jacob turned to me and motioned for me to get up. Obeying I got to my feet and crossed the room. As I walked past Mike I noticed that he was more in the dark than I had been. Leah hadn't even told him yet. He didn't even know anything about imprinting. For a small instant I actually felt bad for him. He'd been thrown into this life just like Jake had been. Unwillingly. Jacob took my hand and we walked out the door. He shut it and turned to me.

"She's going to explain some things to him. I figured they could use some privacy". I nodded, understanding exactly what he meant while he continued to lead me towards the house. Then he stopped. "Lets go somewhere". My eyes questioned his statement.

"Where?" He grabbed my hand and started to lead us to my truck.

"I don't know. Just anywhere but here." Then I paused for a moment, stopping Jacob from his lead.

"Actually Jake, could I go somewhere alone?" Contemplation caught his eyes. I could tell that he was torn with this statement. Why wouldn't he be, I just asked for some alone time. Something he wouldn't be able to accompany me in. Then he shrugged.

"I guess". With that I kissed him on the cheek and put my hand out for the keys. He tugged them out of his pocket and placed them in my hand. "Where will you be?" I should have figured he was going to ask that. It made sense after all.

"First Beach". He seemed content with this as he pulled me into a hug. Holding on tight he let out a deep breath.

"Be careful Bella. Don't do anything stupid". I nodded my head and let go of the embrace.

"I won't be long". He turned back to the house and I started for the truck. Pulling open the door I swung myself into the drivers set. Placing my hands on the steering wheel I thought about why I was going down to the beach. _Was there something there I needed? _Probably not, but it just seemed like a good place to think. And right now I wanted to stew some things over. Turning the ignition I got started on my destination. First Beach should be pretty unpopulated right now, I smiled at the thought. Just me and the water.

Driving along the road I quickly noticed how dark it had been out today. Most of the sky was cloaked in deep gray clouds. Rain was probably going to be a given. Once I crossed the reservation line I couldn't help but take in the feeling of being free. The past two days I'd been trapped in a little house with six other people. Even though I loved Jacob and all his friends, alone time is something I've always cherished. I was a thinker and today I was going to do some thinking. With that I heard a load thump in the back of my truck. Turning my head I quickly saw someone in the bed.

"What the hell?" The person leaned himself over the edge and motioned for me to roll down my window. Doing so I watched in the rearview mirror as he pulled back his hood. Seeing who it was, I yelled out the window.

"SETH!" What the hell was he doing here? A smile broke across his face.

"Hey Bella"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Well I saw your truck so I figured I'd catch a ride". Then he turned his gaze around to take in the location. "So where are you going?" With his question I to also looked around. Why had I crossed the reservation line? I had intended to go down to the beach. A quick thought slipped. _Where was my mind taking me? _Once I realized that I'd left Seth's question hanging I answered him.

"First Beach"

"You do know you're going the wrong way right?" Turning onto the ditch I stopped the truck. Leaning my head out the window I motioned for Seth to get in. Gleefully he hopped the side of the truck and pulled the door open. Situating himself on the seat he continued to smile. I had to ask.

"What made you so happy?"

"Eh…nothing really". I slowed the truck as we reached a stop sign.

"Just tell me Seth. You owe me". His eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"How do I owe you?"

"You're in my truck aren't you?" This settled him.

"Yeah, I suppose. Okay". He lifted his legs and placed his feet on the dashboard. I shot him a disapproving glace, but he didn't seem to take notice as he weaved his hands behind his head. "Just the hole situation with Leah. I think it's hilarious that she imprinted on the enemy. It's just like her to do something like that". I had to laugh. More than anything I agreed with him. Only Leah could get herself into something like that.

"Leah is one of a kind", Seth chuckled. I had to add to his statement.

"In a good way or a bad way?" Again a smile broke across his face. Noticing the expression I also smiled. This boys face was just meant for that. Smiling was like a second nature of the kid. I'd be willing to bet that even when he was mad he'd still be forcing back a smirk. Finally he answered.

"I guess a little of both. I absolutely hate her, but she's my sister. So I love her". I nodded in understanding. In ways I couldn't stand some of the people I loved. But none the less I loved them and I wouldn't think twice about dying for them. With that thought I pulled the truck to the side of the road and cut the engine. Seth turned to my gaze.

"Why are we stopping?"

"This is where you get out". His smile seemed to slightly waver.

"But I figured I could go to the beach with you"

"Seth, I just…-". He pushed open the door and swung a leg out.

"Naw, I get it. Alone time". I smiled at his understanding. He smiled back and fully climbed out the door. "I'll see ya later Bella".

"See you later Seth"

He shut the door and started walking with hands in pockets. Seth truly was the most tolerable one in the bunch. He knew when he was wanted and when he wasn't. That hit me with a feeling of guilt when I thought that. It wasn't exactly that I didn't want Seth to be with me, I just didn't want anyone to be with me. It wasn't anything personal. I hoped that he knew that. With a smile I realized that he probably did. Seth was a good kid. Turning the key I started down the road again. After a little more of a mile I pulled to the side and parked the truck. From here I would hike the rest of the way. Pulling on a raincoat I slumped out of the door and started for the woods. Once I made it into the damp surrounding of trees, I soon noticed that there was no path. I'd parked a little further from the beach than I had predicted. Without another thought I continued my steps. _Just as long as it didn't start to rain_. That way my footing would have at least half a chance. Just then a sprinkle started to break out. _Thank-you Washington_. Figuring I wouldn't have another chance to get out again anytime soon, I decided to step on.

…

For half an hour it had been raining pretty profusely. The ground was wet and slippery, but so far I had managed not to fall. My odds apparently had finally grown to my liking. At this rate I was most likely going to make it back with nothing more than the scratch a stray shrub had caused earlier back. I smiled faintly with appreciation. Once my eyes caught the beach strip I felt the urge to walk along it. Looking down I couldn't help feeling grateful for the rain boots I had on. It looked like today was going to be in my favor. When I reached the water I took in a deep breath. The air was misty and stale, but I enjoyed the taste on my tongue. Watching along the ripples of the water I took notice of my surroundings. The once pale tan sand was now dark with the damp weather. Muddy more than anything. My boots were going to need a good cleaning after today. Searching along the beach I enjoyed the fact that I was alone. It wasn't a surprise though, the beach wasn't a very popular place in mid September. The water was too cold by now. When the rain started to grow heavier I pulled my coats hood over my face, struggling with the strings to securely hide my face from the wet. Through the small opening of my hood I saw a familiar piece of driftwood. Splashing through the mud puddles I made my way towards it. Taking a seat, I settled myself on the natural bench, while the rain continued to fall down on me. Images of Jacob in the early days passed my mind. He had been so innocent and warm. He still was in a way. I felt warmth smile in my chest. I had used him that day when we first met. Flirting with him, not thinking about the consequences. Thinking back on it, it really wasn't the first time we'd met. But it was the first time we'd actually talked. I'd made him fall for me. All the pain we'd gone through the following years had been my fault. Everything that had happened was due to my undying curiosity. And still I had no regrets. Then a picture of Edward slipped into my head. The warm smile like feeling faded away instantly. I did have one regret. Just one.

Searching the beach again, my eyes stopped at a cluster of waves. White water broke at the surface and stormily made it's way to the shore. If I had been able to, I would have done things better. I hated to hurt people and never had I hurt anyone like I did Edward. In all aspects I had ruined him. He showed me nothing but love and protection and I'd thrown it in his face. My feelings for Jacob had overshadowed his and because of that I lived with the pain of seeing his face everyday repeated in my mind. I told him that I loved someone else. Someone that was not him. The hurt in his eyes had been too much. It haunted me every night. Closing my eyes with the freshly dug memories I corrected myself. _Every day_. His face haunted me everyday. It seemed that the rain had started to lighten so I loosened the strings and pulled back my hood. A slight breeze caught my damp hair and brushed loose strands across my face. _What was I going to do?_ Answering my own question I thought out loud.

"I can't live like this"

Slowly a small sob started to escape my lips. Turning into tears I broke out of my steady calm and let myself cry. It felt good to let some emotion out. I couldn't just cry like this in front of Jacob and tell him what it was for. If he knew how much it killed me to leave Edward he wouldn't have let me do it. But that had given me more the reason to pick him. Jacob had been my reason for letting Edward go. I guess in a way he made it possible for me to do it. It hurt to think it, but if I hadn't met Jacob then my life probably would have been better. I never would have had to gone through that with Edward. Instantly a feeling of dread took over my insides. I could actually feel the hurt of my words in my heart. Another set of tears that represented something totally different from the previous ones streamed down my cheeks. That had been the worst thought I had ever had. How could I have let that come into my head? I hadn't meant it. Jacob was my life. Without him nothing would have been warm. I would never had seen the sun. Right then I hated myself more than ever before. Just by an accidental thought I felt like I had stabbed him in the back. I had believed my heart was totally open to him, but maybe thoughts about Edward had been keeping it shut? _Could that be possible? Had I been betraying my sunlight by refusing to open the shades?_ Just then I noticed a glitter from the sun reflect against the water. Turing my gaze I took in a sight that I hadn't expected to see. Not ever in a million years. Taking in a deep breath I digested the fact that I was not alone like I had thought I was. Someone else very much was there, standing just across the strip of dark sand. And he was looking back at me as our eyes connected. The only thought that passed my mind then was one of questioning and shock. _But why? Why had he come now?_


	23. Music

Disclaimer: (I own nothing to do with anything Twilight...except for my books, my shirts and other various collectibles)

_edwards point of view  
who says "woot woot" to that?  
i really have a lot of fun writing his thoughts, he's a very interesting character  
so i hope you enjoy reading_

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

**Music**

Sitting in the corner of this dark room certainly gave me a new found love for the sun. I hadn't seen it in weeks and I didn't really want to. Kind of odd how I loved it, but totally rejected it. It represented something that I just wasn't ready for. Light mixed with darkness wasn't something meant to be. And I was dark. At least that's what I told myself everyday. Why not remind myself of what I am? Just because I'd been locked in this room for four days didn't mean I'd changed. I was still a killer.

"We'd like to see you upstairs today". Opening my eyes I then noticed Carlisle standing at the door. How I hadn't known he was there before was odd to me. I was getting less observant as the days passed. Somehow my thoughts had formed the power to take me in, making everything around me unseen.

"It's too soon", I admitted. Quickly I could feel his eyes search over me. Probably calculating how right I exactly was. A soft breath escaped his mouth.

"Edward, I'm unlocking the door. When you feel like coming up we'll be waiting". As he started to walk back through the door I heard his final statement._ Alice would really like to see you_. Once the door shut I hid my head between my palms. Pressing as hard as I could I wished right then that I could go up there. That I could get past my self loathing enough to show my face. But that was exactly it. I wouldn't be showing my face, I would be revealing a different Edward. One that should stay in this dark room for everyone's own good. And because of that I would not be going through that door. Nothing could make me.

…

In the distance I heard a phone ring. Four times it chimed and still no one answered. For some reason I felt a connection to this call. It was like it was trying to sing to me to lead me out of the room. And it worked. Passing through the halls and up the stairs I made my way into the light. At first my eyes didn't accept this change, but within seconds I could see perfectly. Letting my eyes scan around the room I realized that no one was here. The phone rang again, pulling my attention to the kitchen. Eying the small silver phone on the counter I instantly grabbed it in my hand. Without looking at the name I knew who it was. The only problem was, _would I answer it? _But after the last ring the phone fell dead. She had hung up. Silence again took over the house. Dropping the phone to the counter I thought at how close I had been. _What would I have done? _I didn't want to think about it. Turning to walk out of the kitchen I started to head up the stairs. Since I was already up here I decided to check on my room. It didn't take me long to get there, but when I opened the door I saw that it was exactly the same. Giant bed and all. Her bed. Walking up to it, I sat on the edge letting it's springs hold me up. Her smell was here. It seemed like just yesterday we'd shared this room. Taking in a deep breath I engulfed my nose in her smell. It was like nothing had changed, except for one thing. She wasn't here anymore. She'd never be here.

Deciding that forcing myself to smell her lingering presence wasn't the safest idea I got up off the bed and made my way out of the room. Shutting the door I felt almost as if I was shutting away a part of my life. Like the action of closing the door was giving up on something that I had once believed I would always fight for. _Maybe it was time to let myself lose._Pulling the door shut with a silent click of the lock I made my way further down the hall. With a few more steps I stood outside Carlisle's office. Gazing at the door I couldn't help but remember all the conversations I'd had with my partial father. The hours that I'd spent questioning our lives and how we chose to live. And always he made me feel exultant with what we did. Proud that I had chosen this way of life instead of continuing my endless days with darkness and death. Carlisle had save me. A deep feeling of regret pulled itself through my veins. And in thanking him I had given up all of it for a broken heart. Placing my hand on the knob I contemplated on weather or not to go in. _Did I really want to enter into a place that I clearly did not belong? Did I want to do something like that to myself? _Deciding that no, I did not want to pull myself into that I dropped my grip and walked back towards the main floor. Seeing the piano out in the open caught a glimmer in my eyes. I hadn't touched it's keys in weeks. The white ivory sang out to me, begging for my touch. Deep down I'd been desiring to play it for days, but the better half of me knew it would have been wrong. I didn't deserve the simple pleasures in life anymore. I'd given those up the day I willingly let the stain of blood pass my lips. Yet at this moment I felt the strong erg to place myself at the grand piece and flex my fingers. Maybe I could just sit at it, but not play it. That wouldn't be so bad.

Running my numb fingers along the untouched keys a shiver of delight passed through my veins. A sigh of shock broke through my lips as I realized the familiar sensation. Then I curled my hands away from the white ivory and let the guilt set in. _I hadn't deserved to feel that_. Then without thinking I ran a hand across the keys again. A sweet sound escaped from the heavenly contraption that filled my ears. Then as I slowly pulled up my other hand and placed it on the keys I played a simple note. Following that was a blur. My hands started to think for themselves as they moved along the instrument and did what they had wanted to do for so long. I had been holding them back and now they were finally free to move. Then without thinking I played the note. At first it hit me with a wave of shock. It had happened so suddenly and un-expectantly that I didn't know how to react. Instead of running from the sound I sat there in dismay. A familiar pain crept itself along my throat, constructing my unneeded breaths. Then I played more, continuing the melody that the single note represented. It was years ago that I had written this particular song and now it was being re-earthed for my own desires. I hadn't written it for myself, but at the time it hadn't occurred to me that I would have to use it for such a purpose. As the tune played out and rose then fell, I felt as if she was there sitting beside me. Just inches out of my reach. By gliding my fingers along the keys I was bringing her back. With music I was letting her return to my heart. Then as if there wasn't anymore to add the tempo changed. I hadn't planned on adding to the song, but now there was an entirely new ending. It spoke of pain and loss and the establishment of the sting to come. Once the notes started to dull and the song came to its end, I pulled back my hands and placed them lightly in my lap. A single question slipped through my mind. _What had I just done? _Letting out an unnecessary breath I admitted to myself the truth. Even if I didn't want to believe it, I had just taking her back into my heart without once thinking of what could come out of it. I had just pulled myself into something I most likely wasn't ready for. I knew that I wasn't ready for.

…

Time passed and still none of my family had returned. The light in the house started to grow less and less as the sun sunk lower into the trees. Watching as the giant windows surrounding the living room grayed, I thought about what the air tasted like. Here in the house it was a mixture of familiar scents of my family, but out there it looked as though it would be fresher. Perhaps milder. Getting up off the couch my mouth tingled with anticipation of what I was about to taste. Opening the door I soon felt the a cool breeze pass through my hair, blowing back my unbuttoned shirt. Trying as hard as I could, I couldn't bring back a memory of being able to feel the wind. Normally it was just a noise that pricked at my ears. Now I could actually feel the sensation of the moving current gliding past my skin and circling around my body. Floating up in the air the breeze strengthened as another smell passed my lips. Breathing in I could taste the sweet aroma of something so familiar that my whole body became livid by its unexpected presence. Each pour of my body inviting it to enter as it pleased. Ignoring the voice in my head telling me to go inside and retreat back to the basement, I stepped off the entrance step and brought myself further into the scent, heightening the aroma. With the sudden erg to follow the aroma my speed grew as I closed the distance between it and myself. Soon my stride broke into a run and tree after tree blurred into a strip of green. The gravel beneath my feet provided as a track, taking me further in the right direction. And the first breeze that caught my attention provided a reminder of what I was getting closer to. In a matter of minutes I would be there. I would see her.

Stopping with the quickest of jerks, I pulled in the scene of what lied before me. I was standing at the reservation line, just about to cross it when for some reason it felt wrong to be so eager to run right by it. Unlike before, when I'd all but ignored the barrier. Thinking on it I couldn't come up with any reason not to just turn around and ignore this insane situation. Really it had been wrong to let myself even consider this. Then another fragrant current of wind caught up in my nose. That was it. There was no turning back now. Without another thought I stepped across the line and ran into the woods. To hell with the right thing to do. It didn't matter anymore. I wanted her.

Seconds passed and soon the opening to the beach came into view. Looking up into the sky I could see that the clouds were heavy. Then as if I hadn't noticed before I looked up and saw the rain. _Had it been raining before now? _Looking down at my bare chest I realized that it had been. Down to my pants I was dripping in the saturated residue. Small drips trickled from my wet locks and trailed down my chin. Taking another step past the trees, I broke my concealment and walked into the open air. Just along the beach I could make out several footprints that trailed along the water. Quickly with my searching eyes I caught where they ended. With a slight break of person a tear formed above my cheek. She was less than a hundred yards away. I could hear her rhythmic heart beat. I could even smell her through the stale and misty air. For a moment I watched as she sat there. Alone she looked so helpless and vulnerable. _She could be yours_! The voice in my head screamed. Ignoring it, I took a few closer steps towards her. Then as if she'd seen a ghost, her body stiffened and her eyes popped. In that brief second time seemed to freeze. It was just me and her. My eyes and her eyes. Her fear and my desire. Walking with a slightly quicker stride I figured it was too late now. She'd seen me.


	24. Still Fighting

Disclaimer: (man do i get sick of this...i own NOTHING)

_well, here you have it. the twenty-fourth chapter. nothing special i guess.  
enjoy  
__sorry sam, but the re-occurrence of a character was not that of the washing machine repair man  
i know how much you wished it had been  
i still don't understand why you love him so much though?_

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

**Still Fighting**

Slowly as he continued to walk toward me, I hesitated on the piece of driftwood. I didn't know if he was here to kill me or to just talk. Nothing in his movements proved either. He was simply walking. With a feeling of regret I brought myself off from the bench, pulling down my coat I tried to cover my now chilled legs as much as possible. Closing my eyes I tried to think of something to do. Some action that would save me from whatever was to come. An electric current caught my heart and it started to beat against my chest heavily. A small sliver of heat rushed up my neck and across my cheeks. I could feel him getting closer. When I finally forced my eyes open I was shocked at his proximity. He had cut the distance in half. He was so close and still I had no ideas on what to do. So, dumbly I stood there like a rock, not able to move for the life of me. And possibly that was exactly the problem. My stupid legs and my stupid brain was going to probably be the life of me. Killing me because of their lack of function. _Bella Swan was an idiot_. He stepped up closer and paused. Apparently he wanted some sign from me that he could continue. Biting my lip I gave him a nod of approval. It didn't matter what I had for ideas now, he had already gotten too close. Once he was all but a foot from me I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath filled with regret. _Why had I let this happen? Why hadn't I run? _After a moment of silent stares he opened his arms and pulled me into a hug. Without resistance I fell into his welcoming arms. Against his chest I felt the familiar ecstasy that had always taken me over when I'd been this close to him. It felt like a piece of me was back. Like I had been restored. Quietly a whisper escaped from his lips and bounced against my neck.

"_Bella_"

I fluttered my eyes open to the mention of my name and nuzzled my face against his chest, hiding my tears in his shirt. I wasn't quite sure what I was feeling right then, but I knew it wasn't fear for my life. Edward wasn't here to hurt me. If anything he had come to fix me. A shiver shot across my body and from the look in his eyes it seemed as if it had shot through him too. Deep emotion showed through his look, it was like he had been hurt and then hurt some more. He just seemed so innocent in pain with his expression. With slight hesitation I attempted to pull back, this resulted in him holding on even tighter. Now our bodies had smoldered into one and I could feel every inch of him. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get my brain to think of anything other than him. All of my senses had become invaded by his sweet, inhuman scent. It was like he was unknowingly fixing my whole being by his presence. Again he spoke through his stern shaped mouth.

"Bella, I've missed you". His hands slowly worked their way along my back and motioned comforting circles.

"Edward I…-". He cut me off with his lips. Pressing his against mine I soon felt the sensation of a chill breaking across my mouth. Slow and deep he continued and pulled me closer as he intensified the connection. My brain wasn't working correctly because for some reason I was kissing back. Edward started to slowly flood my every thought, my entire being. Then just as I thought I'd gone too deep a glimpse of the sun twinkled in the corner of my eye. _Jacob_. Just then I stopped all that I had begun. Now it was only him involved in the kiss. Gently placing a hand on his chest I pulled myself off his face and stepped back. For a brief second his eyes caught mine and it looked as though he wasn't going to allow this tiny distance of separation. Without another second to wait he pulled me back in, but before he could kiss me again I spoke.

"No Edward"

"Bella, I need…-". I froze my expression and tried my hardest to look as convincing as possible. I couldn't let him kiss me again.

"I love Jacob". Instantly his arms dropped and the shine in his eyes faltered into blank indifference. Whatever feelings that had possessed him before were vacant in that look. Realizing that he was still holding on to me, he quickly let go of my arms and took a step back. Dropping his gaze to the ground he took in a silent breath and ran a hand through his already tousled hair.

"Sorry". Straightening my coat and brushing back my hair with my fingers, I let out a breath of relief.

"It's fine". Then a thought shot at me and I instantly asked. "Edward, why are you here?" With a look of hesitation he seemed to have fought over his answer. Clearly he wasn't exactly positive on his reasons either.

"Well…I kind of got a phone call…and I just assumed that…well". His face contorted in nervousness. Something that I had never seen before in him. Then he dropped the odd behavior and looked back up at me. "Did you call me?"

My voice cracked. "Yes, I called you". Relief seemed to have shot through him at my answer. With hurt filled eyes he looked right through me.

"Why?" Remembering back at the conversation with Jacob I pulled out my answer.

"Jacob let it slip that you were back at home". His gaze dropped and his feet shifted back towards the beach. With that he started to walk, without thinking I slid up beside him and took his hand. For a second his hand hesitated within mine, but I didn't let go. No words were passed, one another's presence was enough for us. He understood that I was with Jacob and I understood that Edward was no longer mine. The way we walked was different than before. We were simply holding on to one another for comfort. As the minutes passed and the length of the beach stretched out behind us our pace slowed. Breaking the silence he spoke.

"How is Charlie?" Crumpling my face in surprise, I found that I didn't know how Charlie was doing. Since I'd fought with him, we hadn't really spoken. Then it hit me that I hadn't even told him where I'd been the past week. A squeeze in my hand brought me back to the question. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me"

"No, it's not that. It's just….we don't really talk anymore"

"Oh, sorry". Watching our feet I distinctly remembered walking along this exact strip with Jacob. The weather had been the same, but this time it was a totally different experience. Instead of a warm hand, I was holding a cold one. Although I missed Jacobs touch at this memory, still it comforted me to know Edward was here. He was safe. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I comforted myself in this thought. With a shock Edward stepped back. Still I clung tighter, I just couldn't let go. Not now. Realizing this he fully embraced me and allowed me to nuzzle my face against his chest.

"It's okay Bella. You'll work through it"

"That's not why…-". Then I realized that he thought I was breaking down because of Charlie, when that was not the reason at all. "Edward…what happened?" He seemed taken off guard by this as he slightly pulled himself back.

"What?"

Pushing myself back into his arms I shuddered in response. "What happened to us?" With a deep breath he answered.

"Life happened". That seemed true enough. He then continued after the brief pause. "Things change". Letting go of his hand and stepping back so there was a safe distance between us, I spoke.

"I don't like how it ended". A twinkle in his eyes caught my attention. Apparently something I'd said caught his interest.

"Ended?" Caught off guard by this question, I couldn't say anything other than the truth.

"I'm with Jacob now, of course it's ended. I love him". He let out a sigh of distress.

"But you love me too". Agreeing with him I nodded my head. It was true. I did love him. Just not enough to leave Jacob.

"I do"

"Then it hasn't ended Bella. This is just the start". Opening my eyes to their furthest extent, I took this in with awe. _Had he just called this the start? Was he planning on interrupting my life? Now?_ I had to tell him that no, it was the end. He had lost and I was forever with Jake. It was a harsh truth, but none the less it needed to be said.

"No Edward, this is the end". Shaking his head, he showed his disapproval.

"No Bella, you can't decide that. Only I say when it's over". A tear started to form above my cheek and slipped down my eyelashes. Catching it with his finger, he stroked my chin. A whisper formed out of my distressed breathing.

"Don't do this Edward. Please". He continued circling my chin and brought up his other hand to hold against my neck.

"How can I not? I said I'd fight for you". He leaned in closer. "So here I am, fighting". Slowly he lowered his face to mine and pressed his lips to my forehead. Cold chills rushed through my body and along my fingers. But the chill on my fingers was not from the kiss, it was from the pale skin that I now pressed under them. Edwards bare chest heaved with his risen breaths. I wasn't sure why he had reacted so to me? Never did he usually act so human? Pressing harder I tried to push him away. I was not going to let him kiss me again. Jacob was the only person I wanted. No one else. The next thing I said came with a more strong voice.

"Let me go Edward". He stood still, showing no reaction to these words. "Let me go". Dropping his arms to his sides he gave in to my request. Quickly I took two steps back, almost tripping on a stray tree branch.

"I only let you go now because you asked me to. But I'm not giving up on you Bella. Not yet". I hated to hear his words. They stung at me like a thousand knifes. No matter how much I loved him, I couldn't stop myself from feeling a deep sense of detest towards his words. He had gone too far. Taking another step back, he seemed to be fine with the growing distance.

"I won't chase you Bella"

"Why are you doing this to me?" With pleading eyes, I hoped that he would just leave me alone. Let me live my life the way I chose to. But then I knew it would have been too easy. I didn't deserve easy, but I couldn't help thinking that I didn't deserve this either. Life was playing a cruel trick on me.

"I'm going back Edward. Please don't come after me". With that I turned and marched through the muddy sand towards the opening in the woods. I would take the path this time and walk the road back to my truck. If anything in the world wanted to smile down at me then he wouldn't follow. He would just let me go. Finally reaching the break of the forest I turned back to see if he was still there. Sure enough a dark yet sparkling figure stood just along the shore, watching back at me. With a shudder I turned and continued my way into the woods. After twenty minutes of mindless walking, I finally made it to the road. At the moment my thoughts were numb. I didn't know what to think? Edward had just sworn to keep fighting for me, when there was nothing left for him to win. _Or was there?_ _Was there something in me that he saw which I couldn't? Had I been hiding something from myself? _No. Jacob was all I wanted or needed. He was my everything. I just needed to see him again to feel it. Surly everything would work out then. On that thought I started to pay attention to the pavement in front of me. My truck was just a little further down the road. Once I got back in it I would be safe. I would be that much closer to Jacob.

…

When I drove up Billy and Jake's driveway, I parked the truck with shaky hands. Stepping out, I took notice of the garage door. For some reason it was open. After all the emphasis for keeping it shut was expressed, still it hung open. Walking past it, I decided it just didn't matter to me. There were more important things in life than Mike Newton. Pushing open the door, I stepped in and pressed my back against the door as it closed. I shouted Jacobs name, but heard no response. Sliding down to the floor I used it to steady myself. I was breaking. I could tell. It was coming soon. In attempt to hold myself together I wrapped my arms around my knees and lightly rocked myself. _Where was Jacob? Why wasn't he here? _Then with a burst the door swung open, forcing me to the floor. Once he realized what was holding the door back, Seth quickly shut the door and kneeled down to me.

"Bella?" Wiping a tear from my face, I looked up to meet his worrying gaze.

"Hey Seth"

"What are you doing on the floor?"

"Nothing". He sent me a disapproving glace.

"It doesn't look like nothing"

"Really Seth, it's nothing. Just drop it". Then I noticed his face. It was marked with red that spread along his cheeks. It looked as if he'd been in a fight and hadn't cooled off yet. "What happened to you?" With a quick glance, he shifted his eyes with un-sureness.

"What do you mean?"

"Your face, you look like you were just in a fight?". Placing a hand on his cheek, he slid his fingers down and along his lips.

"Nothing happened. It's just cold out". His response seemed rushed, but I figured I'd leave it at that if he was willing to leave me at what I said.

"Yeah well, were is Jake?" Shifted his glance again around the house, he forced an answer.

"I don't know. Somewhere around here". Opening the door, he stepped out. "I'll see you later Bella"

"But you just came in?" But he was gone. _That was weird_. Seth didn't normally act this odd. Pushing the thought back, I brought the question back I'd asked earlier. _Where was Jacob?_ Realizing that I was still sprawled out on the floor, I pulled myself up and headed for the living room. Taking a seat opposite to the window, I soon realized that I had a perfect view of the garage. With the door still open I felt the responsibility to go out and shut it. Sam had been pretty clear that it was to be shut at all times. So I got up off the couch and made my way to the door. Stepping out in the air a gust of wind blew against my face. It was cold. The smell was the same as it had been back at the beach. Stale and wet. Once I made it to the door I took it upon myself to pop my head in. Sitting in the corner was Mike, tooth filled grin and all.

"Hey Bella!"

"You seem happier than usual", I commented as I walked in. "Is the garage finally growing on you?"

He continued to smile. "You could say that". Not caring what he meant by it, I ignored his comment.

"So how about we talk?" He seemed shocked by this, but none the less pleased.

"Sure". With his agreement I grabbed a chair and placed it in front of him. Sitting down, I took notice of his facial expression. Happy as ever. But then again, when wasn't he happy?

"So how's life treating you?" He laughed at this question.

"Don't joke with me Bella. Just ask me what you want to"

"Fine. How is being a part of a nomad pack treating you?" Again he laughed.

"I can't tell you that Bella. You should know that secrecy is everything when it comes down to a war". Dropping my smirk I tried to think of something to say to this. He was right. We were in a war and on opposite sides.

"Why are you protecting them Mike? It's the wrong side"

"To you maybe, but you don't know everything. They are my people". I couldn't help myself, I had to laugh at that.

"Mike, they are not your people. Jessica, Eric, and your parents are your people. This is just something else. You weren't meant for this". His face showed something of panic, as if he fully believed or wished that this was the truth. Something in his eyes told me otherwise though. He was scared.

"They're just as much my people as Seth, Sam and Leah are Jacob's"

With a scowl I answered. "That's different"

"No it's not". Standing up in frustration I blew up in his face.

"Jacob has known them all his life! Tell me, how long have you know your supposed people?!"

Sternly he countered. "Long enough"

"LONG ENOUGH!" I crossed the line of personal space and brought his face right up to mine. "There are people that care about you! You don't need to be in this! There's nothing for you in this war!" Uncomfortably he shifted in his chair.

"I don't really have much of a choice". Calming down I took my position back at my seat, firmly pressing my hands against my knees.

"Yes you do. Just quit. Don't do it". His eyes filled with fear again. It was a quick flash, but definitely there.

"I can't do that Bella. It's complicated". With a sigh of defeat, I slumped back into my chair. Apparently he wasn't going to tell me what I wanted to know. So I guessed I would have to settle with something less interrogating.

"What happened to you Mike? You were suppose to be the normal one". Distance took over his eyes as he answered my question.

"Things change. People change"

"Sometimes I just wish it didn't have to be like that".

With a slight nod he answered with a smile. "Me too". Getting up from my chair, I started to walk out of the room. Mike perked up with my motion. "Where are you going?"

"Back in the house"

"Don't you want to talk some more?" With a brief smirk I knew that Mike would be alright. Even though he was on the opposite side of the war, he was still Mike Newton. He wouldn't be going anywhere. Somehow I just knew he'd always be there to hopelessly annoy me. Standing with the door open it hit me that I had a question to answer.

"Not if I won't be getting any good answers". With a scrunch of the nose he attempted to wave me out, catching himself just in time. _Poor Mike_, I thought to myself. Here was this regular boy taken from his regular life and his regular family and thrown into this. And now here he was, tied up in Billy Blacks garage. Life ceased to surprise me.

"See you later Mike". Then I shut the door and went back into the house.


	25. Cold Shower

Disclaimer: (twilight and all it's holy goodness isn't mine)

_wow...two chapters in two days  
okay, i'll give the real reason behind my ultra-quick update  
this chapter is in dedication to the twilight movie. who else is freak excited for the midnight showing?  
cause i am  
i've got my ticket and i can't wait to see the magic come to life  
jeez...every time the damn trailer comes on i basically have a heart attack. i'm not sure i'll be able to wait another 23 hours  
well, back to the fanfic. enjoy and review_

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

**Cold Shower**

"Bella?"

Rolling around to face the voice speaking my name, I took in the sight. A tall lanky person covered in dried mud stood just a foot from my bed. A familiar grin broke across the dirt stained face. Instantly warmth took over my cheeks.

"Jacob?"

"You fell asleep". Crawling up to set against the headboard I gave him a small glare.

"You weren't here when I got back". He started to climb towards the bed, but I stopped him by holding my hand out. "I don't feel like washing the sheets"

"Shower then?"

"Yeah". Then he trampled over to me, ignoring my request and attacked me in a hug. Dirt and mud caked itself all over my body. As he kissed along my neck I could feel traces of mud stick. With all the force I could muster I pushed him back. "You're sick!" A quiet chuckle escaped through his chest.

"I just wanted a kiss". Whipping off a layer of dirt from my cheek I shot him a scowl.

"You covered me in dirt". Running a hand along my neck he chuckled again.

"You can't blame me. What with you looking so beautiful"

"Jerk". He was a jerk. A lovable, kissable jerk. With that thought I bent up and kissed him. Slightly by surprise he sighed against my mouth.

"I thought I was too dirty?"

Adding another kiss to my first, I answered him. "I'm past it"

"Well that was quick". Deciding that he was too messy for this at the moment, I pushed him again. I really didn't want to wash the sheets.

"Go take a shower". A smirk took over his face and his eyes filled with something I'd seen before. I'd seen it many times by now. _That boy was endless_. _Nothing stopped him_.

"It looks to me like you could use a shower too"

"Well then, why don't you go first and then I'll take one". Pulling at my hands, he brought me closer.

"Or we could just shower together?", he purposed with an arched eyebrow. Again I pushed him down against the bed, but this time I pulled myself on top of him. Catching my fingers in his hair, he let out a garnished moan. Pleased that I got this out of him, I continued my kisses along his collarbone, ignoring the mud entirely. Another moan escaped his lips.

"Bella…you'll be the death of me"

Again I caught my mouth against his lips. A breathless sigh took both of us over. Almost giving in, I felt the heat vibrating off his body. With a thrust he made his way on top of me. Staring up at him I couldn't help but laugh. Jacob looked like a mud man. Come to think of it by now I must have looked just the same.

"What's so funny?"

"You"

Pointing a self inflicting finger at himself he mouthed a "Me?"

"Go take a shower Jacob". Then adding to it I suggested. "A cold one". With a smile he climbed off the bed and headed for the door.

"For you Bella…anything". And he was gone. Laying on the bed I realized what I had just done. I had forced myself out of a much wanted situation with Jacob. I wanted it, but how could I possibly think about doing something like that right now? With Edward returning and with his tainted words floating in my head, I just couldn't do that. Not to Jacob. He deserved my full attention. So here I sat. Hot, bothered, and entirely alone. With a sigh I figured I deserved it. I should have told Jacob about Edward right away. It should have been the first thing to come out of my mouth. I didn't like that the first thing I had to do when I got back was shower off Edward's smell. I'd literally scrubbed my skin to the bone in effort to shield Jacob from the scent. I should have told him right off about Edward's reappearance. _What was I hiding anyway?_

…

"This is absolutely insane!"

Leah walked into the room. "Shut up Seth, just do it"

"I'm not going in there!"

"Why not little brother? Are you afraid of the big bad wolf?" A small look of hesitation shot through him.

"No…I'm just not going in there"

Two seconds passed and even I, who was sitting on the far side of the living room could feel the cold glare Leah was giving Seth. Apparently I had missed something important that caused Seth such hate to go feed Mike.

"Sam told you to go, so go! We can't have our hostage starving!", Leah all but shrieked. In response Seth pouted and crossed his arms. The look in Leah's eyes told me she wasn't going to be taking her brothers crap. With a scrunched up face Seth lowered his arms and shot a glace at me.

"Why can't Bella do it?"

"Because Sam didn't ask Bella, he asked you". With that Leah got off the couch and quickly made her way over to Seth. Grabbing him by the collar he reluctantly edged off his cushion. After shoving a plate into his hands she pushed him towards the door. "And don't even think about going somewhere else so you can eat his food!". With a quick glance Seth shot another look of despair at me.

"Can't Bella come?"

Leah huffed. "Why would Bella…", she rolled her eyes in defeat. "Whatever, as long he gets fed"

Figuring I didn't have much to loose, I got up and walked over to Seth. As we headed for the garage Seth leaned back and huffed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks"

"Eh…no problem", I half smiled. Pushing open the door, I walked in with Seth behind me. This time Mike didn't greet me with a grin or even a smirk. He appeared to be slouched back and fast asleep. It really didn't look comfortable at all. A whisper escaped Seth's mouth.

"Thank god"

He walked up to the little work table next to Mike and placed the plate there. Looking over the sleeping boy I couldn't help but wonder what made Seth so reluctant to come in here. _Had Mike and Seth gotten into a fight? _A muffled ring from the house phone caught my ear and reminded me of where I was. In a cold garage. I'd much rather be with Jacob within the warm confines of the house. A screwdriver rolled off the table Seth had been leaning on and landed on the floor. With watching eyes, I made sure to decipher all of Seth's moves. He just didn't seem the same. Doing absolutely nothing interesting he just watched as the tool rolled along the floor and made its way under Mikes chair. Deciding that I really would rather be in the house than in this cold garage I looked over at Seth.

"I think I'm gonna go back inside, it's kind of cold". With a slight nod Seth gave my permission to leave. Apparently a sleeping Mike didn't bother him so much. Getting back into the house wasn't too bad, even though the wind had picked up today and chills were now pricking all along my body. Without a second to waste I made my way quicker to the door. Then I felt two warm arms wrap around me, snuggling me tight. I turned my body to face him.

"You are awfully sneaky for someone so big", I snorted in a 'matter of fact' manner.

A small grin started to form at the corner of his mouth after I said this, but quickly faltered. Taking my hand he started to lead me away from the door. With a slight pang of sadness I knew that I wouldn't be taking in the shelter of the warm house anytime soon.

"Where are we going Jacob?"

Still the only response was the suppressed grin. I didn't know what to make of this absent smile, but at the moment all I cared about was getting out of the cold. Really it had been dumb of me not to put on a sweater. After he successfully pulled me around the corner of the garage he stopped just in front of my truck.

With a pained expression, he finally answered. "I thought we could talk?"

With that he pulled open the drivers door and held it for me. Sliding across the seat, I made room for him. Once he'd gotten himself in the tight space he shut the door and replaced his hand in mine. Feeling the warm skin against my own sent a fiery tingle along my arm. I guess the heat of the house didn't really compare to this. Jacob was like an electric blanket, that if I asked would be more than willing to cover himself over me. I smiled at that thought. Maybe I would ask him. Instead he started to speak.

"Bella, I've got some stuff to tell you"

He seemed downright put down saying this. This caught me off guard. What could he have to tell me that I didn't know already? _Did they find something while scouting? Had someone gotten hurt? _Then another possibility shot through my head. _Did he know about Edward? _He slowly started to caress my hand with this thumb, making small circles that instantly felt like a small burning ring of fire growing on my hand. Although the heat was comforting I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell him.

"Jake I…". He placed a finger at my mouth, causing me to stop. Then with a small sigh he stopped the ministrations of his finger.

"I think you should hear what I have to say first Bella"

For a split second I thought about just telling him right then and there, but the look on his face told me that what he was about to tell me was important. My throat started to tighten with the feeling of anticipation. He took my other hand in his and held them tight.

"Something happened to Charlie"


	26. Hospitals

Disclaimer: (not mine, but i wish it was)

hey guys...sorry this came so late. i've been kind of busy. school and all that junk  
okay i admit it. i've been reading a whole lotta harry potter fanfiction  
it's kind of my new obsession  
oh and i have to mention the twilight movie  
IT WAS AWESOME  
okay...happy reading

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX**

**Hospitals**

It took me about two seconds to register what he had said. It had felt like slicing arctic water had splashed at my face. A cold shower of pain ready to engulf me. When I finally spoke, what came out of my mouth sounded more like a whisper. Something that I was afraid to ask because of the answer I might get.

"What do you mean something happened to Charlie?"

Again Jacob squeezed my hands with all the tightness my weak bones would allow. Thoughts started to swarm through my head. _What was he talking about? Something had happened to Charlie? My dad?_ With a slight huff of breath, he answered my question.

"He was outside his house when he got a call for a disturbance"

My heart started to sink and my breath scratched itself along my throat.

"When he got there he didn't even have time to pull his gun"

A wave of nausea started to take me over. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it any further.

"There were too many of them and Charlie was alone"

I could feel a pull in my stomach and knew then that if I had to wait any longer I would throw up.

"Just tell me Jake". A look of pain shot across his eyes as he searched my face.

"He was shot Bella".

Horrified by this answer, I pushed myself back until I made contact with the opposite door. The handle dug into my back. Tears started to swell across my eyes and everything took on a blurred form. Even Jacob, who was now next to me was a mere shadow. Pressing my hands to my face I let out a strangled breath. _This just wasn't happening. Not to Charlie._ Then I felt the presence of Jacob pressing against me in attempt to hold me down.

"There's more", he bleakly added.

_How could there be more?_ I refused to believe this. Pulling my hands from my face, I took in Jacobs expression. Telling from his tight lips and worried eyes I understood that whatever the _more_ was, it was bad. A small whisper made its way through my shivering lips.

"Oh god Jacob…did…is he still…-"

He cut me off by pressing my face against his chest, allowing me to take comfort in his warm build. Pressing hands found their way to my back and motioned large circles to keep me from falling further into my hysteria. I couldn't even fathom what I would do if I lost Charlie. How life would be. I didn't want to think about it. It was unacceptable. Unbearable. Jacob leaned his face closer to mine and kissed the top of my head. It was as if this small gesture had given me my answer. I had lost my father, he was gone.

"Bella", he paused. "It doesn't look good"

All I could think after that was; _how could he?_ How could Jacob give me that little piece of hope? _It doesn't look good? _What did that even mean? I hated it. And I hated Jacob for saying it. A shiver of anger started to crawl along my fingers, causing them to form fists. Jake seemed to notice this when he took them into his hands. I looked up in reaction to his hold. His eyes spoke of unspoken misery and pain. They seemed almost swimming in regret. Then he did something that I hadn't expected at all. He let go.

"Jacob?"

"Go see your father", he added.

Again I saw the pain in his stare. He wanted to come, but he knew that I, more than anything had to do this alone. He was my father, my Charlie. If I hadn't been in so much emotional strain right then I would have felt warmth in my heart from this action. He knew me enough to know when to let me go. Slowly he inched his way out of the truck and I made my way to the drivers seat. The tightness that I held the wheel was starting to turn my knuckles white. Jacob leaned in and kissed my forehead one last time.

"I'm sorry Bella…god I'm sorry". Meeting my eyes with his, I connected our pain. His pain for me and my pain for Charlie and for what was to come. With hitched breaths I answered him.

"I'll be back Jacob. I promise". Taking the handle in my hand, I pulled the door shut and started the engine.

…

When I pulled up to the emergency entrance I knew imminently that I was not going to like this place. The building itself was grotesque and painful to the eyes. To make things worse, when I walked through the automatic doors the Pepto-Bismol walls caught attention to my gag reflex. This was not going to be good.

After about ten minutes of mindlessly searching a young nurse with long brown hair stopped me.

"Did you need some help?" Her voice took me by surprise. Her look gave off that she'd be the intellectual type, but this bubble filled voice shattered that.

"My Dad…", I started, but quickly stopped.

To tell the truth I didn't know what to say. Did I tell her that my father was shot? Did I just ask her what room Chief Swan was in? I was lost for words. Her eyes caught my hesitation and she placed a hand on my shoulder. All the bubble she previously had, had popped and now there was only sympathy.

"Did something happen to your dad?"

I simply nodded. No matter how calm I was trying to stay, I knew that if I spoke only tears would follow. The nurse continued to speak in a comforting voice.

"What's his name?"

"Charlie Swan", I managed.

Instantly a shade of condolence dropped on her face. Seeing this only made me more breakable. I was stupid to have let Jacob let me come here alone. If by just hearing his name and knowing about what happened gave her this reaction then what did that say about his condition? I could feel the well of tears brimming at my lashes. _You will not cry here Bella. Not here._ I swelled up my chest, but quickly dropped. The hole that had formed before was now being resurfaced. I could feel as each and every part of me filled with that emptiness. The fear.

She took her hand off my shoulder. "You're Chief Swans daughter." She paused and it seemed as though she was trying to read me. "Oh dear…you should come with me"

She took my hand without any implied permission and lead me along a hallway. Mindlessly I let myself be dragged without thinking about where she'd be leading me. All that went through my mind was how sickening the walls looked. Pink with darker shades of pink running along them like a directional arrow. _Weren't hospitals suppose to make you calmer?_ To me blue would have been a much better color or maybe white. But then I was hit with the realization that when you're dying colors probably didn't matter. People came to hospitals to die, not ponder about the paint choices. Color probably played no part in this process. With a quick turn she lead me down anther hallway, passing a sign that read INTENSE CARE UNIT. A deep roll of grief towed away at my stomach. Charlie was really bad. Jacob's face hadn't lied about how serious this was. Then as if I didn't know she was going to stop, I slammed into her still mass. Looking up to her in surprise, I didn't expect to see her staring straight forward. Turning my gaze to the same direction, my mouth dropped in shock. Through the glass window that stood only inches from my eyes was Charlie. Or at least the form that I had once know as Charlie. The body laying in there in no way resembled the man I knew all my life. This was the image of a beaten and fading person, someone very near to death. Tubes jetting out of every direction and the resulting stain of deep red tracing his bandages. This was not Charlie. This was not my father.

Seconds passed and I couldn't take the scene in anymore. I had to look at something else. Turning my body, I leaned against the glass window and slid down its length. Taking a hold of my knees and biting down on my arm, I tried to hold myself together. The nurse kneeled down and placed her hand on my elbow. Trying as hard as I could I focused on the washed out blue floor tiles.

"Are you going to be okay Honey?"

Yet again anger shot through me and I instantly hated her for speaking. I didn't want to hear her talk. She didn't have any purpose with me. I shrugged my elbow away and dropped my head between my arms. After a few seconds she took this as her hint to leave. Sitting outside the room of my dying father, I slowly slipped into seclusion.

…

Time seemed to pass at a snail's pace as nobody came. I had figured that some pudgy balding doctor in a white lab coat would have come by now to tell me about my father. He would look distinctly at his chart and ignore my sunken features because looking at me would have been too much. He would have pushed up his glasses as he read off what had happened. He would have walked away after telling me that I had lost my father, that I was alone. Then I would have to sign some papers and leave to lead on my parentless life. A short lived shiver shot along my neck as I thought this. _Since when had I not though of Renee as a parent_? Another panic filled shock rolled in my chest. I needed to call her. She had to know. Just with that thought I heard the familiar echo of footsteps coming down the hall just beyond mine. Without looking up, I knew exactly when the echoing noise was standing just above me.

"Miss Swan?"

With as much strength as I could call on, I raised my head. Towering over me stood the exact doctor I had described. It scared me a little how dead on I had been. Although I guess in all fairness to him, he wasn't balding. A sign that this was a doctor that knew to keep work at work and not to take the days worries back home with him. He probably didn't even think twice when a mother lost her child or when a teenager died on his table after a unsuccessful surgery. He was smart. I wish I had that talent. He looked down at his clipboard and continued.

"I'll be quick. I don't want to overwhelm you with the technicalities and large words"

An empty glare formed on my face. This guy thought I was dumb. It was true that I probably wouldn't have understood him if he did mention the technicalities and large words, but still this was just arrogant. I couldn't stop myself from feeling a deep hatred for this lab coat covered man. I wanted to take his glasses off his emotionless face and smash them. Maybe then he would show some sort of remorse. Not for my life, I couldn't expect that, but for his broken frames.

"Your father was shot. The bullet skimmed a vessel surrounding his heart. The chances are slim", the doctor listed.

With those three short facts this nameless doctor had ripped at my soul. At my hope. He had painlessly told me that my father was dying. He didn't even care. Looking up at his ivy-league educated face swept my throat with a feeling of repulsion. Another set of echoing footsteps caught my ears. Peering past the black pant legs of the doctor, I took in the nurses disheveled look as she quickened her pace towards him. Then behind her I could make out yet more footsteps. Faster than the previous sets.

"Doctor", she huffed from her lack of breath. Apparently she had been running. "There is a man..-". Then cutting her off, I heard the husky sweet voice of my hope. The only light I had left in my dark confined mind.

"Bella!"

The nurse turned to face the outburst of noise. She turned back to face the doctor. "I'm sorry Sir. He insisted he had to see her", she stated as she sent a pointing look towards me. Without taking any interest the doctor turned and prodded for the nurse to follow. Jacob continued his strides and fully flung himself at me. Wrapping his long warm arms around my body, I fell into his frame. Melting in his comfort. Soft warm kisses wetted across my neck and attempted to sooth me.

"I'm so sorry Bella…I shouldn't have let you go alone", he mumbled along my neck. "I should have been here". Stopping his kisses, he pulled my face into his neck as he rested his chin on my head. Not able to suppress the tears any longer, they trickled down my cheeks in silent sobs. A cracked whisper broke my lips.

"He's going to die Jacob. Charlie's going to die". He held me tighter and let out a heated breath against my neck.

"Don't think like that Bella". Instantly my eyes shot up to his and I gasped at his words. _How could he talk like this?_ Didn't he know how serious this was?

Harshly I questioned him. "How can you say that? Have you seen him?"

His eyes hardened with his answer. "Yeah, I saw him"

"Then don't you see. It's over. Charlie's gone". Small sobs started to take over my speech, replacing words with hiccups of desolation. I could feel as I slowly sunk further into the dark. Not even Jacob, my light of hope could help me. Not now. Then he spoke.

"He's not dead Bella. Not yet. You can still fight this. You need to fight this"

My wet questioning eyes met his. "How do I fight something I have no control over?"

"You try. You at least keep some sort of hope in yourself. Charlie would want you to fight". Pushing myself further into his chest, I understood the entirety of his words. Jake was stronger than me. He knew more than anyone that there was always something to fight for. I had been weak.

He pulled his hands away from my face and balanced them on his knees.

"You should go see him". He spoke this with urgency.

Quietly I mumbled, "I saw him". A small wave of pain crossed his features when he realized what he had to say.

"No Bella. You should go see him in his room. Time is," he paused, "limited"

Now understanding him I fell further back into the wall. I wasn't sure if I was ready for this. Being close to something that I was inescapably going to lose. The thought of it sent waves of fear through my veins. It felt like I had swallowed the whole ocean and couldn't find any release. I was a dam…and I was breaking. Then Jacob took my hand in his and gave me a questioning look. It was clear that he could tell just how close I really was to falling apart. So I tightened my grip and returned the smallest nod of approval. I was ready. He lifted me from the floor and firmly kept his hand with mine. From the corner of my eye I could see the doctor coming back in our direction. I wanted to feel anger towards this man, but right now all that I felt was Jacob. His warmth. His love. His pain. I tightened my fingers around his and I didn't let go. I was going to fight.


	27. Choosing Yellow

Disclaimer: (I'd like to believe that in another life I owned Twilight, but even that seems impossible)

_hey guys...sorry this took so long  
really i have no excuse for this, i mean it's been at least a month  
the holidays have passed and along with them another year  
so i guess this is my very belated present for all of you  
enjoy...i hope :)_

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN**

**Choosing Yellow**

Each step bore the hesitation of my acceptance. I had to admit that this was Charlie in this bed. The blood that I saw was his. The vacant expression was his. All of it belonged to him. It seemed like minutes passed as I took in the sight when all signs of reality told me seconds. A squeeze came from the hand attached to mine. Not able to revert my eyes from the image in front of me, I squeezed back in response. I didn't want Jacob to think I had died. Then the doctor started to talk.

"We extracted the bullet, but there was some permanent damage". He paused to flip to the next page of his report. "If he is able to breath again on his own, there will be serious implications with his heart. It would be strenuous for him to continue as he normally would had". Finally I was able to pull my attention from my father and look at the doctor. His paused silence was killing me. "If he doesn't wake up soon the implications will be worse. I'm sorry, it's not very likely-". Then Jacob tensed as he broke him off.

"Leave". The doctors features furrowed while Jake's stayed steady and carved.

"Excuse me?", the doctor questioned. Clearly he wasn't use to being ordered out of rooms.

"We don't want your condolences. So why don't you put your pen back in your pocket protector and leave"

The doctor rolled his eyes and did just as Jake said. After placing the pen in his pocket he pulled at his glasses and muttered as he walked through the door.

"Fine. Just don't play with the tubes"

As he started for the door I could already feel Jake's hand smoothen. Once he was gone he let out a sigh of relief.

"I hate him", he groused.

Still I couldn't control my eyes. Now they had caught sight of Charlie's hand and wouldn't move. That was my dads hand. The one that held mine when we walked across the street. I could feel the quivers of pain start within my throat. Closing my eyes the tears then started to trail along my cheeks. Jacob lead me to a chair and helped me into it. Once I was situated he quickly attacked another chair and dragged it next to mine. Replacing his hand in mine he settled down. Then we sat. We waited for him to wake up.

…

Two days went by. Two hideous everlasting days. I hated it. Every part of this situation. Even with Jacob here I still felt…there just weren't words for what I felt. I was indefinable. We passed time by holding on to one another. More me than him, but he still participated for my sake. After the first night I'd spent in the hospital I'd fully realized how much I depended on Jake. He'd argued to stay with me and I wouldn't let him. When I woke up in tears I soon felt warm hands holding me. He had stayed anyway. If I had believed in a higher power I would have prayed right then that no one would ever take him away from me. Jacob was my life source. Somehow Charlie's odds had changed for the better and the nurses said he should wake up within the week. But something in her voice told me that after that week things would only get worse. I didn't like to think about it though. Hence the reminiscing.

A loud beep from across the hall pulled me out of my thoughts. Apparently it startled me because Jacob took notice and tightened his grip on my hand. I shot him a half smile to assure him that I wasn't going to wig out.

"I'm fine Jacob"

His eyes still questioned me.

"Seriously I'm okay", I reassured.

He got up out of his chair and started for the door.

"Where are you going?"

He turned around to face me. "To kill whoever made that noise", he mused. I raised an eyebrow at this. "Just a joke Bella. I'm going to get you some lunch". Hearing him say that gave me an idea. I got out of my chair.

"I'll go. I want to get out for a couple of minutes". I walked past him and he started to follow until I turned around. "Someone should stay with him"

"Right", he muttered.

I could see the pain in his expression. He hated it as much as I did that Charlie could wake up at any minute, just like he could not wake up any minute. It could be months for all we knew. _No,_ my mind decided. Charlie was strong and much too stubborn. He'd be awake within the week. He had to. Jacob disappeared back into the room and sat in his chair. I turned back around and looked at the floor. Three separate lines of yellow, blue and green ran along the cracked tiles. Now all I had to remember was which color lead to the cafeteria. Taking anther step in my direction, I turned a corner and started down the hallway. I'd chosen yellow.

As I walked along the beaten tiles I remembered vaguely the last time that I was in this god forsaken place. I was five and Renee left the stove on. Not too long story short, I ended up with a second degree burn and a trip to the Portland hospital. Not the cheeriest memory, but it's kind of the last one I have of my two parents together. I still remembered the worried glances they shared with each other as the doctor examined me. A year later I moved to Phoenix with my mom while Charlie stayed in Forks. And that was the end of the happy Swan family. A flash of blue caught my eye and I quickly turned. My eyes scanned where I'd thought I'd seen it. Nothing. Just an empty hall with flickering fluorescent lights. I could have sworn that I'd seen something. I jogged further down the hallway and turned the corner. Abruptly two hands caught my shoulders and stopped me in my path. At first I didn't know what to say or how to react. My voice was caught in my throat, forming a blocker for words. Finally I caught my breath that I hadn't even realized I was holding.

"Edward?", I questioned. I felt like a deer caught in headlights. It was unexpected to say the least to see him standing there. Especially after how things were left off. "Edward, what are you doing here?"

He dropped his hands from my shoulders and shoved them in his coat pockets. He was wearing his blue coat.

"Hi to you too Bella"

The way he spoke seemed so easy and relaxed, and it pissed me off. I made sure that my face told him this. There was no reason for him to be coming to a place where I was and acting so casual about it. It was intrusive. He wasn't invited and he needed to know it.

"Don't talk to me like that. You don't get to do that", I sternly reminded. "Do you even remember what you did to me?"

He brought his hand up to my face and softly stroked my cheek. Tingling webs of cold corrupted my skin and left my head in a state of ecstasy.

"What do you think I did Bella?"

His tone was innocent but I could sense the malice behind it. I roughly tore his hand from my cheek and gave him a stare that told him exactly what he did to me.

"You took it upon yourself to kick me out of any say in our relationship. I said no and you ignored it. You threw what I wanted in my face and made yourself some sort of sick predator and me the pray!"

He recoiled at this and took a small hesitant step back.

"You were never the pray Bella", he nearly whispered. I could see the hurt in his eyes, pleading for some sort of understanding.

"But you did this. You messed everything when you wouldn't let me go"

He quickly responded to my statement. "Excuse me for not wanting to let you go so easily. I love you Bella"

I dropped my gaze and wrung my arms around myself to steady my stance. I was not going to fall apart over this. It was his fault that he couldn't let go, not mine.

"Maybe you shouldn't", I whispered.

He grabbed a hold of my arms and pulled me to him.

"Don't say that". He twirled a stray hair between his fingers that had fallen in my face and pushed it back. Safely tucking it behind my ear. "Don't ever say that. You know how I feel"

He rubbed his hands along my back in attempt to calm me. It wasn't working. Whatever effect he use to have was no longer in vacancy. He was just cold. Behind these kind gestures I could see the planned out strategy in his game. I pushed away from his hold and took a step backwards.

"And you know how I feel, but you continue to hound me! Just leave me alone Edward!"

I could see in his eyes the amount of pain my words had on him. It was as if he was swimming in despair. He had gone through things that I couldn't even begin to fathom and in that moment I found in myself that I didn't care. I didn't want to know what had happened to him. What had turned him into this emotional roller-coaster of cartwheels. Even though I hated to hurt him, I just couldn't play the game anymore. I'd chosen Jacob. When I picked him I'd dropped my hand and folded. The game was over. His face retorting into something of a sneer.

"Funny thing you should use the word hound. Isn't your boyfriend the dog!"

Instantly I felt a crushing pain along my left arm and to my horrifying amazement it was his hand that was bruising me. I'd never seen him with this much anger or force before. This wasn't Edward at all. I struggled against the hold.

"Edward! Let go!"

He continued to hold his death grip. It felt like my arm would combust at any moment.

"You're hurting me!"

Just then a women came around the corner and eyed us suspiciously.

"Is there a problem here?", she questioned.

The pressure left my arm. My eyes stayed locked on to his and in a split second he had turned back to his old self. The emotionally stable person that I always thought I'd be able to take shelter in. My anchor. Words started to fly from his lips.

"No", he eyed her. "Everything is fine"

He said this in a seductive voice and ended with a smile. Clearly he was aiming to get her out of there as soon as possible. Her worried demeanor faltered and she twirled a lock of hair against her chin.

"Okay, I guess if nothing is wrong here than I'll go. Just please refrain from shouting. There are sick patients here"

With that she turned on her heal and disappeared behind the corner. Then, just as I brought my eyes back to Edward, I instantly wanted that nurse back. Something was wrong and I didn't want to be here alone with him. The events that took place just seconds ago still kept a threatening linger in the air.

"I'm sorry", he sulked. "I don't know why I did that"

The way he was acting left me speechless. I didn't know what to say. He just went from being smug and pushy to the image of pure sorrow. Whatever was going on with him was clearly beyond me. He was lost.

"Edward, you need to get some help"

His eyes darted from the floor to my face.

"You're not yourself", I added.

"I have help", he mumbled.

"Then why are you here?"

He seemed confused by this statement as a puzzled guise took over his face.

"I would have thought that you'd know that by now", he brought his gaze back to the floor. "I still love you Bella. More than anything". Slowly he lifted his eyes to meet mine. "I can't just forget you"

The hurt in his eyes was overwhelming. It was as if his face was a razor blade that just skimmed the skin of my wrist. He was killing me by showing his pain. But it wasn't my fault. No matter how many times I've told myself this I still felt the need to repeat. I had made my choice and if he wasn't able to accept it then that was his problem. I hated to hurt him, but there is only so much I can do. Only so much pain I can feel. I took his hand in mine and gave him a small farewell gesture. I had to let him go. He needed to learn to live without me. I'd done it when he left me and now it was his turn.

"Edward", I pointedly spoke. He brought his gaze to meet mine. For a second it seemed as if the air stood still. I could see in his expression and tauten features that he knew what I was about to say. "I'm going back to Charlie's room where I will be with Jacob. Then I will go back to Billy's house where I will be with Jacob. And any other place or time that I am doing anything after that, I will be with Jacob".

With that I dropped his grasping hand and started to walk towards the exiting corner. I paused at the last moment to say the last thing that I would have to.

"Goodbye Edward"

And the last thing I saw of him was a blank expression and an untouched hand, hanging in the air. A hand that would never touch mine again.

As I took the corner I could feel the tears powering under my chest. Soon small trails of pain masquerading as wet tears showed upon my face and I continued walking. When I got back to Charlie's room I stopped to look in through the window. The image I saw was simple. Sitting next to Charlie was Jacob with his shoulders slumped against the hard hospital chair and his boots propped up against the bed railing. He seemed comfortable. As my eyes trailed along his hand and up his arm I was soon met with equally watching eyes. Very quickly he took in all that was my expression and dropped his feet from the railing. I didn't know what to do so I stayed where I was. Still I never broke eye contact. Neither of us moving, it seemed as if hours had passed when I finally turned the corner and walked through the door. He got up from his comfortable leaser and pulled me into something that couldn't possibly be described as a hug. It was more like he was my warm blanket on a cold winter night or my human sized band-aid that was entirely meant for holding me together. Nothing in this embrace spoke of a hug, but instead raised volumes with the word haven. I was in pain and he was taking all of it within this hold. He was my harbor within the storm.

Minutes passed and all I did was cry. No words were spoken, but small gestures of holding on tighter than ever before spoke massively for anything that was intended to be said. He knew that whatever I was in so much pain about made it necessary for him to be holding me, so that's what he did. Jacob held me. Slowly I started to ease my way out of his bone breaking embrace and I took in his expression. I could see worry brewing underneath his ever hardening demeanor. I had to tell him.

"Jacob I...-"

"Don't worry Bella", he kissed the top of my head and pulled me in tighter. "It will be okay"

"No Jake, I need to tell you…-"

Again he cute me off.

"I know", he paused slightly before finishing. "- and it's okay"

For a second I was lost in confusion. How could he know? I hadn't uttered a syllable.

"You know?", I questioned.

A small smile crept across his face that held two entirely different emotions. One of humor and another that masked the possibility of pain.

"I can smell him all over you"

At that moment I knew. I knew that whatever was to come, Jacob would be there. He would never leave. I held onto him tighter and hid my face within the confides of his chest and remained there for however long it was until he finally brought us out into the hall and sat me down beside him against the wall. As the time passed I relished in his warmth. His love. His hand in my hand and his neck that held my head perfectly as I leaned into him. This is how things were meant to be between us. Aside from the pain and direness of the current situation there was still us. Jacob and I. I loved him and there was no doubt that he loved me back with the power of a thousand suns. He was my warmth and my steady hold. He wasn't just my lover, but my friend. And I needed him.


	28. Normal

Disclaimer: ( I wished I owned this...but the sad truth is that I don't)

_two chapters in one day...who knew i could do it?  
well, i hope you like this one, i laughed a little when i was writing it  
so i guess there is only about eight more chapters left to this story...i just need to write a few more and i'm done  
it's crazy how things go by so fast  
..thanks for the reviews.._

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

**Normal**

A week passed and Charlie woke up. At first it was odd to finally have him back, to hear his voice. The first thing he wanted to know was whether or not his baseball team had made it into the finals or whatever it was they had. I didn't know much about baseball. He was mad that they had in fact not made it. This information was provided by Billy and he seemed just as distressed about the fact as Charlie. I didn't see the point in putting so much care in the sport while there was a much more important fact pending. Since he had woken up the topic of his condition had not been brought up. He didn't want to talk about it and so it wasn't mentioned. I could see in his expressions that he was going to be stubborn on this subject.

After two weeks the doctors said he could go home. I didn't understand the lightness that they were approaching the subject. Just a few days ago they had acted like Charlie was going take a turn for the worst and soon. To me, I had gotten the impression that his condition would be serious no matter how things turned out. For better or worse he was still going to have to live a totally different life. There would be no more sheriff responsibilities for him to busy his day with. And he loved his job, that would be the worst part. I could see that whenever we talked about the police station now that the light in his eyes would dim out. He missed it.

The day we left the hospital the doctor pulled me aside. The original doctor that had been working with us had been reassigned. I secretly wonder if Jacob was to thank. I'd had the sneaking suspicion that he'd requested a different doctor after that first day.

"You're going to need to keep a close eye on him", the doctor had said. "He may not look like he's in danger, but he is". I nodded my head as he continued to speak. "Because of the damage in his heart he won't be able to live like he use to. There will be a special diet and exercises. For a long time there won't be a day when someone won't have to watch him". A knowing smile took over the doctors face. "I've seen him and I've taken notice of his stubbornness. He'll definitely need a close watch". I continued to nod, it was as if the ongoing speech about taking care of my father was routine now. "I'll be giving you a prescription that you can pick up today at the pharmacy". He placed his hand on my shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile. "Other than that all there is to do is wait. He'll get better. Just give it some time"

The doctor handed me a slip of paper with the medications listed on it and said goodbye. I turned around from the check out desk and walked back over to Charlie, who was currently wearing a face of annoyance. Billy hadn't stopped shooting jokes about him being in a wheelchair.

"Look at us", Billy joked. "Two of a kind aren't we?" He patted the rim of his wheel. "People are going to think these things are a style statement"

Charlie continued to hold a face of disgust, but it was clear that Billy had only been trying to lighten the situation.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again", Charlie gritted. "I didn't choose to be in this damn thing, they made me"

Billy laughed at this and slapped his knee. "Well I didn't choose to either, but you don't see me acting like a five year old!"

A hint of a smirk caught at the corner of Charlie's mouth.

"Yeah well, at least I look good in one", he joked.

This was when I walked up to him and grabbed the back handles on his chair. Just as I started to wheel him towards the door Jacob strolled up beside me.

"It's finally time to get these goofs out of here huh?"

"Yup, lets get the cripples out of the hospital", Billy added.

As we made our way through the door Charlie mumbled. "I'm not a cripple".

…

Once we'd gotten back to Jacob and Billy's house and settled Charlie in the living room, I made my way outside. We had decided back at the hospital that staying with Billy and Jacob would be the best idea. There would be more people to watch him and more company for Charlie. Billy seemed keen enough with the idea, so he had Jacob set up his room for him to stay. Unfortunately that meant less privacy for me and Jacob.

Now I was standing outside the garage contemplating on whether or not I wanted to go in. I hadn't heard any news on what had been decided on Mike lately, so I thought that maybe I'd find out myself. There were only so many weeks they could hold him hostage. If Mike hadn't told his parents that he was off on a pre-college hiking trip with his friends then surly the police would be involved. It had been over two weeks now and they would probably be asking questions soon.

I gripped the door handle and walked in. In his usual corner sat Mike, but this time there was a very pissed off Leah giving him a death glare. Once she'd heard the door open she heading right for me and pushed her way through. I watched as she stomped her way back into the house and slammed the door shut behind her. I shot Mike a questioning look.

He laughed. "Believe me, it's not important. You wouldn't want to know"

I made my way to Jacob's Rabbit and sat on the passengers seat that still didn't have a door. Lately there wasn't much time for car repairs in La Push. I decided to get straight to business.

"What's happened the past few days?"

He smiled and let out a laugh that echoed against the garage walls.

"And why should I tell you?"

"Because if you don't I'll just ask Jacob"

He seemed content with this answer and brought his face into a regular expression. No smile, no laugh.

"Nothing much. Leah's a bitch and Sam asks lots of questions"

I waited a second before asking him as I scanned my eyes along the garage floor.

"Do you answer any of them?"

"Only the ones he makes me"

My mouth dropped at this sudden statement. Sam was making Mike answer questions? But Mike hadn't said anything sense he got here, there was no way that he would give anything away now. Unless they were hurting him. It was then that I saw the bruises that ran up along his neck and stopped at his jaw. A busted lip just above his chin and a cut on his left eyebrow. A feeling of pity and anger swelled through me. Even if Mike was on the wrong side that didn't mead he deserved to be beaten. He was still my friend.

"What did they do to you?", I whispered.

His eyes dropped to the floor and from the expression he held on his face I could see that he was thinking about how to answer my question. Finally he brought his gaze back to me.

"It's not important", he waited a few seconds. "How is Charlie?"

I could see that he didn't want to talk further on the subject so I took his change of topic and answered him.

"He's fine. It was bad for a few days, but the doctors think he'll be doing much better". I waited before added the worst of the details. "Something with his heart is wrong, so he won't be able to work at the police station anymore"

A grim expression corrupted Mikes face. Clearly it hurt him to hear me talk about Charlie in that way. In all reality he had known him better than I had and longer. Mike had never left forks in his life.

"I'm sorry Bella. That really sucks"

"You shouldn't be sorry Mike. It's not like you did it". His face angled to the floor as if there was something suddenly very important he needed to look at down there. "Some things are important Mike", I added. He picked his head back up. "Whatever is going on between you and Leah may not be, but being tortured for answers is"

He shrugged. "I heal fast"

It hurt me to hear this. I didn't like that he cared so little about himself.

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt"

He re-situated himself in his chair against the ropes and gave another shrug.

"Doesn't really matter"

I stood up from the car and stomped over to him.

"It matters Mike! Sam is interrogating you and it's wrong! Just because he wants some answers doesn't mean he has the right to do these things to you!" I brought my hand to his chin and brushed along the bruise. He flinched under my touch. Realizing what I'd just done I quickly brought my hand down to my side. "He doesn't have the right to hurt you", I added with a whisper.

Mikes voice dropped to a somber tone. "We're in a war Bella. Things happen, rules change"

"What war! I haven't seen anything that even resembles a war yet! All I've seen is Sam keeping someone in this garage that doesn't need to be. You haven't done anything!"

"You don't know that. I've done things Bella. Just because I've been in this garage for the past few weeks doesn't mean I don't deserve to be. As you said, I'm on the wrong side"

Hearing this from Mikes mouth left me in a stupor. If he thought that he was on the wrong side then maybe there really was a war going on, or at least there was one starting. And a question scratched at the back of my head. What had Mike done? Why did he think that he deserved to be tied up and tortured? I didn't like where things were headed.

"What did you do Mike?"

He dropped his head back to stare at the floor. "You don't want to know and I'm not going to tell you". He looked up to me and caught my eyes. "Don't pry this one Bella. Let me keep this answer to myself"

…

After that conversation with Mike I decided that I was going to have to talk to Jacob. There were things that I needed to know. I spotted him in the living room having a shushed conversation with Sam and Billy. Charlie was off in the corner watching the taped baseball games he had missed, courtesy of Billy. I could tell that he didn't like the pending outcome of the current game by the tight hold he had on his beer. Just as I noticed the beer I prodded over to him and snatched it from his hands.

"Doctor said no beer"

He turned from the TV screen. "Come on Bells, I'm watching baseball"

"Nope. The doctor gave me his orders and I fully intend to follow them". I eyed the case of beer just beside him. "Down to every last can of beer". A regretful frown took over his face as I bent down and took the case. "Billy will thank you", I added. he dropped his attention from me and mumbled.

"Yeah sure"

I brought the beer over to the counter and smiled at Billy.

"Dad said you could have this"

Billy smiled back. "Well isn't he mighty generous today"

Then, just with that I eyed Jacob.

"I need to talk to you"

Billy let out a half corrupted smile and gestured for him to go.

"Go on and have your melodramas. Your only kids once"

So I lead Jacob out the front door and stood just outside it. His hand was in mine.

"Why is Sam torturing Mike?"

Just as quickly as I asked the question, Jacob shifted back in shock.

"Now don't go saying stuff like that. You know Sam", he defended.

I pulled him further away from the door.

"Don't lie to me Jacob. I saw the bruises"

He dropped his gaze.

"That's nothing Bella"

I gave him a few seconds to tell me more, but once I realized that he planned on staying silent I continued with what I had to say.

"That's crap Jacob!" I dropped his hand and configured the worst glare I could possibly put together. "You knew he was doing this and you lied to me!"

"I didn't lie to you!" I could see the hurt in his eyes. "You never asked!"

"Well, you still didn't tell me and that's just as crappy!"

Just then I took notice of our audience and a blush of red made it's way to my cheeks. I hated yelling in front of other people. It just felt weird. And right now Quil, Embry and Seth had a great view of my show. Jacob seemed to have noticed my discomfort because he quickly took my arm and started dragging me towards my truck. After some awkward moments of after fight silence he finally let go of my arm and leaned against the tailgate. Now I was feeling odd standing alone and blankly staring down at his feet. He took my hand and pulled me to him. I started crying.

"What the hell Bella!", he questioned.

"What?", I managed to mumble. He tightened his hold around my shoulders and rubbed his thumb against the side of my face.

"First you're mad, then your crying? You're such a girl!"

I pushed back from him and scowled.

"I am not a girl", I grossed. God I was stubborn and I knew it.

A giant sized laugh blew from his mouth. "Well I sure hope you are, since I kissed you no less than twenty minutes ago"

A small smile crept across my face at his comment.

"Well I've always wondered about you and Quil", I joked. But then the image of Mike's beaten face and busted lip slipped into my mind. There were more important things to be talking about. And my boyfriends sexuality was not one of them. "It's wrong what he's doing to Mike", I added.

"Bella I don't have any say in what Sam does. If he thinks that giving Mike a punch or two will get us some answers then I'm not about to stop him. What's happening is much more dangerous then it seems and that's only because it hasn't really started yet"

"That doesn't make any sense. It can't be dangerous unless it's started"

I didn't like that he was veering away from the Mike issue, but I still needed to know what was going on. Jacob took a hold of my shoulders and gave me a serious face. This was the one that he reserved for things that he was not fooling around with. No jokes.

"Bella, what is happening _is_ dangerous and people are in danger. It just hasn't started because we don't know what to do yet. There's just too much we don't know right now"

"I want to help"

A look of regret and protectiveness took him over after I said this. He hugged me in closer.

"No"

"No?", I asked.

"No you're not helping. It's way too dangerous". He squeezed me tighter. "I'm not doing that to you again"

I jumped back at this comment and made my way to my own section of the tailgate.

"No one's doing anything to me Jacob. I want to help. It's my choice and I have the right to make it"

He made his way over to my claimed spot and took my hand into the both of his. I could feel his warmth surrounding my cold skin. I hadn't realized until then how cold it was. I couldn't have been more than forty out. We hadn't had this cold of weather in September for a long time. After realizing that I wasn't going to push back in disgust he slid up next to me and spoke.

"Everything will be fine. Sam and the rest will find out where the nomads are and we'll figure it out"

"And after that?", I prodded. He seem slightly confused with this question.

"After that everything will be back to normal". He cupped my cheek. "You'll be happy"

"You call having a werewolf for a boyfriend normal?", I heavily mumbled.

With that he attacked me in a kiss that send my brain into shock. It was as if he had invaded me and taken all that was bad. Everything I had been worrying about was now shadowed by his heat. God twenty minutes had been a lifetime from not kissing Jacob. I could feel in his lips the start of a smirk as he stopped kissing even after I continued. I wanted to kiss like this forever. I wanted to feel this for as long as I could.

"God I love you", he mused. I looked up at him and smiled. "Too bad I like boys though"

I dropped his arms and pushed him in the chest.

"Don't joke with me Jacob Black!"

"We could have had a great thing, but with Quil walking around all day I just can't keep my eyes off him!" His eyes were filled with smirking malice.

"Jacob!", I yelled all to playfully.

Then he crushed down on me again and gave me another mind altering kiss. What a jerk he was. Acting so cute and annoying. What could anyone expect me to do? I had to kiss him back. As this went on he slipped his hand in my pocket and pulled out the paper the doctor had given me.

"What's this?", he questioned with an arched eyebrow.

"The medications that Charlie needs to take"

He scanned the list and seemed a bit taken back by it's contents.

"There's a lot of stuff on here"

I grabbed the paper from his hands and stuck it back in my pocket.

"Yeah I guess I should go get them now", I said as I walked towards the driver side door. I pulled it open just as Jacob rounded the truck to hold it for me. Once I got in he hopped in too and pushed me along the seat.

"I'll come too!"

He held his hands out for the keys. I figured now I could get him with my own form of humor. Just then I crawled up on his lap and ran my hands through his hair. It was getting longer now I noticed. A small moan slipped from his mouth as I pressed up against him. "Good god Bella". I continued to slip my fingers through his hair until I pressed my lips along his neck and up his jaw line. He whimpered under my touch, saying my name almost too quiet to hear. Then after a few seconds of that I paused and lightly kissed the corner of his lips and whispered against his heated skin.

"So you like boys do you?"

After that he chuckled and rolled over on top of me. Apparently the tables would be turning in this little joke of mine.


	29. Privacy, or Not

Disclaimer: (Thank-you Stephenie Meyer)

_this one should surprise you  
read . enjoy . review_

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE**

**Privacy, or Not**

After we got the meds from the pharmacy and brought them back home we found it harder and harder to find a place for privacy. And god did I want it. Jacob wasn't making it any easier either. If we were in the kitchen he'd be right there beside me running his hand along my neck. Or when we'd be watching television with Seth and Charlie he'd playfully kiss my shoulder. The most current situation was taking place outside the bathroom when Leah decided that at that moment she needed to use it. Jacob had me pinned up against the wall and was feverously attacking my neck and jaw when she pushed her way through. No one said anything and I could tell that Jacob hadn't even noticed. Either that or he didn't care. So I pushed my arms up against him, breaking the lack of space and stopped his fiery kisses.

"Bella?", he innocently asked.

"Jacob we can't be doing this. Not here"

A pout formed along his face and he curiously looked around.

"There's no one in the kitchen", he suggested. I gave him a knowing look that basically screamed my detest for making out on a linoleum floor. "The truck?", he smiled.

"I think you dad's room is empty", I said while giving a pointing glace towards the living room. It was a joke clearly, but for a second he seemed to be contemplating the option until he finally made a face of disagreement.

"Too weird"

I pulled the labels of his shirt and brought him closer to the wall that I was still being held up against. Then I gave him a small kiss.

"Then I guess we'll just have to stop"

Right then Leah opened the bathroom door and pushed past us, but this time she didn't leave without commenting on the situation.

"Get a room", she mumbled.

Before Jacob could say anything in return she had gone out the kitchen door and was making her way to the garage. A rush of blood made it's way to my cheeks and I knew that I probably looked like a tomato. Jacob lessoned his grip on me and let me slid to the floor.

"Definitely no more of this", he stated.

It was then that I saw the death glare that Charlie was giving Jacob. If I wasn't embarrassed before, I definitely was now. Then Charlie elbowed Billy in the arm. Billy looked over and grinned. He clearly didn't mind that Jacob basically still had me against the wall. Then he dropped his grin and yelled across the living room.

"Jacob, why don't you and Bella go on outside?" He shifted his eyes towards the garage. "I think there's some cleaning you could be working on". We both knew he wasn't talking about yard work. Jacob took my arm and started leading me towards the door.

"Yeah Dad". He absently waved as he opened the door. "See ya later"

Once he shut the door I spun him around and gave him a questioning look.

"What does he want us to do in the garage?"

"Nothing really. Just make sure Mike isn't making too much noise. I guess I could work on the Rabbit"

"So we're not telling Charlie?"

Jacob put his hands on my shoulders and searched my face.

"Do you want to?", he questioned. Relief sprung all over my face after he said this.

"No", I smiled. "It's too early. Besides I don't think he'd do too well with the whole werewolf in your garage thing. It's not really high on the normality scale"

Jacob grinned and turned around to go into the garage. As soon as I walked in I could see that Mike was excited to see some company. Then when I shut the door his eager expression went back to one of indifference.

"Expecting someone else?", I asked him. He eyed Jacob with disgust and answered.

"Nope"

After that I sat down on a close by stool and noticed that Jacob was already quick at work on the Rabbit. You could tell that he missed working on the hunk of metal. It had been at least a month since he touched it. I watched as he leant over in the hood and started tightening something. The muscle in his arm tensed and loosened as he wedged the wrench back and forth. Then he ripped off his white stained shirt and threw it to the floor. After that I couldn't help myself from staring. His skin looked so soft and warm from where I sat. And the way each of his muscles moved as he bent further into the hood made his chest look like a sculpted god come to life. I was doing all I could not to hyperventilate.

"You know", Mike shouted. "I've got muscles just like that, maybe bigger"

Hearing his voice made me rip my eyes from Jacob and stare towards him.

"What?", I asked. A smile crept along his face.

"I said that I had muscles like that, but maybe bigger". He looked over at Jacob and then back at me. "I suppose it's the werewolf thing"

"What the hell are you talking about?". I was getting annoyed. Why was Mike comparing himself to Jacob?

"I just noticed that you were basically drooling after your boy toy there took his shirt off"

With that Jacob popped his head out from in the hood and frowned at Mike.

"Leave her alone Newton", he demanded. That made Mike frown slightly.

"I was just stating a fact boy toy"

Then Jacob smirked and walked right up to my stool and planted a kiss right on my lips. Not just a little peck, but a full blown, lose your breath kiss. I would have fallen off the stool had Jacob not pulled his arm around my back and brought the legs back on the floor. A disapproving grumble came from Mike as Jacob lent back and freed me from the kiss.

"I'd like to see you try that Mr. Muscle", Jacob crooned. Then he eyed the ropes that ran along Mikes arms and legs. "I almost forgot", he smiled. "You're the hostage. So shut the hell up and sit in your corner!"

After that Jacob went back to work on the Rabbit. I could tell that he was more joking than anything, but I still didn't like hearing him talk to Mike like that. Just a couple of weeks ago they would have been civil in each others presence. Probably would have even laughed at the other one's jokes. I guess things just can't be like they were. Simplicity is apparently too much to ask for. I smiled as I saw Jake lean back into the hood and Mike scowled into the corner. Werewolves were some interesting creatures. Scratch that, guys in general were.

…

After spending a little more than four hours in the garage, Jacob finally decided to quit on the Rabbit and took me back into the house. As we were shutting the door Seth bumped past us.

"Where you headed?", Jacob asked. Seth casually looked from the living room to the kitchen and shrugged.

"Nowhere. The garage I guess"

Jacob shrugged and let him slip by. Billy called over to us to sit down in the living room.

"The games almost over. Your teams winning Jacob", he stated with a smile.

We both sat down on the couch. I pulled a pillow over my lap and hugged it against my chest. Jacob wrapped an arm across my shoulders and set his eyes on the TV. Charlie started to grumble.

"He's only happy because his team so happens to be the same as Jake's"

"Eh, don't be so sore Charlie. It's only the ninth inning", Billy joked.

Then we heard a load bang come from the garage and a glimpse of Seth's head passing by the window.

"You wouldn't know that kid's sixteen by the look of him", Charlie stated. "That kid carries the weight of the world on his shoulders"

All three of us turned and look at Charlie. It wasn't just the fact that he was saying something deep about Seth, but the plain fact of what he said. If I had to pick anyone out of the pack that didn't have a single care in the world it would be Seth. So hearing him say that was shocking to say the least.

"What are you talking about", Jacob questioned. "Seth doesn't have any extra weight to handle"

"He's a jokester", Billy added. Charlie simply shrugged.

"It just looks like the kids got something on his mind. Nothing to it really, wish I didn't say nothing I guess. None of my business"

With that everyone set their attention back to the TV screen and continued watching the baseball game. Except me. I was still wondering about what Charlie had said. I hadn't seen it before, but I guess Seth had been acting a little off lately. Not making as many jokes as he normally would and he definitely hadn't been getting in the way lately. But how had my dad seen it before me? I mean I knew Seth better. At least I thought I did? Then Jacob put his hand on my knee and motioned short circles and I decided to forget about what Charlie had said. Seth was a good kid and he wouldn't do anything stupid. With that I jumped off the couch and headed for the door.

"I'll be back", I told Jacob.

Seth was exactly the type to do something stupid. Not so much as Leah would, but enough to get himself in trouble. If he was putting himself in danger because of the nomad pack then I was going to find out why. I didn't want him to get hurt. He was just too innocent. As soon as I caught up to him just along the driveway I patted him on the shoulder.

"Hey Seth?"

He turned around. "Yeah Bella?"

Then I found myself lost for words. I didn't know exactly what I had been planning to ask him. Really I had no idea what I was even getting involved for. I mean, it's not like I would be able to stop him anyway even if he wanted to do something dangerous. Finally I thought of something to say.

"What's going on with you?", I asked. He gave me a confused look and raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, I just…are you okay and all? I mean there's a lot of stuff going on". He continued to give me a questioning look.

"Bella I don't know what your trying to hint at, but I'm fine. I mean it's not like we've really started anything. The past few weeks have been kind of boring"

I stayed silent for a couple seconds before adding to my previous question. "It just seems like you've been worrying about something. Like something's bothering you"

Seth look down at his feet, then scanned the woods.

"I just don't want to bring Mike his food anymore. I'm getting sick of it", he stated. "He can be really annoying", he added.

"Yeah", I laughed. "I can see how you'd think that". A few more seconds passed without talking. "Hey, do you want to watch the end of the game with me?"

"I don't really like baseball"

"Neither do I", I bargained. "But that doesn't stop me"

A small smile crept along his face as he nodded and started walking towards the house.

"Good", I said. "Now we can root for the opposite team and annoy Jacob".

As soon as we got inside and sat on the couch, Leah walked in. She opened the fridge, pulled a plate out and brought it over to Seth.

"Go feed the hostage", she ordered.

Charlie quickly looked over to Leah and Seth and questionably arched his eyebrow. Seth grabbed the plate and acted quick to fix Leah's slip.

"Um…she means the horse we found"

"Horse?", Charlie questioned. Billy looked back and forth from Seth to Charlie.

"Yeah", Seth agreed. "Yesterday this horse just showed up out of the blue and now we're trying to figure out who it's owner is"

"Funny", Charlie said. "I didn't hear any horse out there today?" But then a voice came on the TV announcing something to do with the game. Charlie hollered and fisted his right hand in the air. " 'bout time!", he shouted.

Leah smiled slightly and seemed as though she was about to laugh. But then she simply turned from the couch and headed down the hallway. Probably to fix her hair in the bathroom, I figured. Seth weighed the plate of food in his hands.

"I guess I'll go feed the um…horse"

Remembering our earlier conversation I spoke up. "I'll do it"

Seth motioned for me to stay. "Nah, I'll do it". He turned from the couch and walked to the door and shut it behind him. We all pulled our attention back to the game after that.

…

After another thirty minutes into the game Charlie mentioned that Seth was taking an awful long time feeding a horse. Jacob tried to say that it was a stubborn horse that they had found and that it usually took quite a bit of time to feed it. Charlie decided to give up on the fact and looked over to the kitchen.

"Can't I just have the one beer?"

"No", I said.

"Well jeez. Isn't there any respect for a man trying to watch baseball. First there's interruptions about supposed horses, then I'm not allowed beer"

"Hey I'm not drinking either!", Billy joked. "All for you Charlie boy. Not a drop"

Charlie's face turned red from this and he stopped pressing on the matter. Just as Quil and Embry entered the room, Jacob kneeled into my ear and whispered.

"I think I'm gonna check on Seth"

I nodded and got up with him as he headed out the door.

"Yell if anything interesting happens", Jacob told his dad.

Then we were out the door and headed to the garage. But before we got to far Jacob took me in his arms and kissed my neck.

"Finally some alone time", he murmured. Then he kissed me again.

"I think I like this alone time you speak of. What is it again?", I joked.

"Oh it's nothing but good", he whispered against my ear.

The heat of his breath blew against my skin and sent warm shivers across my neck. God I loved it when he did this. Then I pushed in to give him a kiss but a bang and the sound of something hitting the floor in the garage caught our attention. Jacob sent an investing look towards the windows then dropped my arms. He ran up to the garage door and went in. When I finally got up to him I couldn't see what had happened because he was blocking the door. Pushing at his arm I took sight of Seth in the corner of the garage, right over where Mike was tied up. I tried to move Jacob out of the way, but there was just no budging. Then I realized why Jacob was so unresponsive. Through the shadow of the garage I could see Mikes face and right next to it was Seth's.

"WHAT THE HELL!", Jacob roared.

With the outburst Seth fell backwards and hit the garage floor. Mike looked up and caught my expression. My jaw had dropped at the sight. Then a smirk grew along his face.

"Maybe knock next time, huh?", he pointed out. Seth just stared over at Jacob, hiding all emotion.

"What in the name of…what the hell Seth!", Jacob yelled. "Were you kissing him?"

Finally Seth's silence broke and he jaw bobbed up and down as he tried to speak.

"I didn't…it's not! I didn't kiss him!"

Then he got up off the floor and barged his way out of the garage. Not without giving Mike the evilest of glares. Jacob quickly ran after him. Mike smiled at me and grinned all his teeth.

"I think I know what imprinting is now", he grinned. I still stood with my mouth agape.


	30. Seth

Disclaimer: (I wish)

_i apologize in advance. this will be one of those lovely cliffhanger chapters  
please don't sue  
actually i don't think you can? or at least not for it being a cliffhanger  
whatever...i'm babbling_

**CHAPTER THIRTY**

**Seth**

A few seconds had passed after Jacob ran after Seth. Now it was just me and Mike in the garage and I was still in awe from the spectacle. My eyes wouldn't move from Mikes position. What had just happened was certainly a twist that I hadn't expected._ Seth and Mike?_ It just didn't add up. Then I gave up on reasoning and ran towards the house, leaving Mike alone. When I got up to the door I could already hear the yelling.

"What are you talking about Seth!", Leah screamed. That was when I noticed the circle of spectators around Seth. Each seeming equally as surprised as I was. Both Quil and Embry, I could tell were suppressing laughs.

"I told you already!", Seth screamed back.

"You were kissing him", Jake pointed out.

"I was not!"

By now both Billy and Charlie were listening with turned heads from the living room. Billy seemed like he was holding back a smile. Leah's face was now one of masked anger with a mix of utter disbelief, and Charlie didn't have a clue about what was going on.

"Did you imprint on him or something?", Quil asked.

"No, I didn't imprint on him!", Seth yelled.

"Then what's going on?", Embry questioned with a smile. By now Seth's eye's were wide as bowling balls.

"He imprinted on me!", Seth answered with a shriek. Jacob broke out in laugh.

"Well that was unexpected!", Jacob let out. "How'd it happen?"

"He attacked me!", Seth blurted. It was obvious that he was getting uncomfortable.

"How?", Quil pushed.

"With his lips!", Seth shouted. Jacob gave him a knowing look. It was becoming evident that he knew something that I didn't.

"Seth, he was chained down", Jacob reasoned.

Hearing that sent crimson to his cheeks. After a few seconds passed it was apparent that he didn't know what to say. For a moment everyone just looked at him as if there was nothing more to be said. Then he just blurted it out.

"Well it's not like I'm gay or anything!"

With that both Embry and Jacob started laughing so hard that they were now holding their sides. Quil didn't seem to know how to take the most recent discovery as he just continued to stare in disbelief. Leah had already stormed out of the room.

"I don't even like boys", Seth muttered. "Stop laughing!", he pointed towards Jacob and Embry.

It was then that I finally put two and two together. Seth had been acting sort of weird lately and in all truthfulness I hadn't been paying much attention to him or anyone else for that matter for the past couple of weeks. A vague memory of Seth coming in from the garage about two weeks ago and acting beyond odd caught up with me. At the time I had thought he'd just gotten in a fight with Mike, but now I could see that something else was clearly going on. It was clear now that this was probably not the first time they had kissed. This had been going on for quite some time. Seth had been going through something all by himself that he shouldn't have had to. His friends should have been there. I should have been there. Instantly I felt guilt wash over me. It wasn't like we were so close that we talked about that sort of stuff anyway, but I still felt bad for not being able to see what had been in front of me all along. After my realization I noticed the look that Seth was giving me as his circle of bystanders continued to laugh. He was confused, lost and embarrassed.

I barged through the circle and took his hand, ready to lead him out of his humiliation.

"Come on Seth, lets get out of here", I motioned. It looked as if a wave of relief had washed over him as I said this. He whispered a thanks and grasped my hand as we exited the kitchen.

Embry laughed again. "Hey Bella, I don't think you're Seth's type!", he yelled as we went through the door.

From outside there was still the muffled laughs from the house in the background. I turned to Seth and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"What?", he defensively asked.

"This wasn't the fist time that Mike ki-"

"I didn't kiss him", he mumbled. "He attacked me"

I decided to let him believe this for the moment as I continued.

"Okay", I reasoned. "This isn't the first time that Mike 'attacked' you, is it?"

Seth's cheeks turned a scarlet brown as he shook his head.

"No"

"Do you want me to go punch him?"

Seth seemed surprised to hear this. Actually I was too. I'd never thought that this would have effected me so much, but seeing Seth in so much confusion just didn't seem fair. And Mike had been getting on my nerves lately.

"No!", he almost shrieked. I arched my eyebrow again in question.

"Do you like Mike, Seth?"

Again Seth seemed as if he was lost for words. I couldn't blame him. It was a rather confusing situation. He looked to the ground and started to talk over himself.

"I don't know", he whispered. Then he looked back up at me. "No", he finally stated. He looked to the ground, shrugged his shoulders and sent his hands to his hair and pulled at it. "I don't think so"

"It's either yes or no Seth", I interrupted.

"Can't it be both?"

"Seth", I pointed out. "You either want to kiss him again or you don't. Easy as that"

"Then definitely not!", he declared.

Just then the house door opened and Jacob came out. He strolled up to us and smiled.

"And how are you ladies doing?", he joked.

Seth sent him a look of disgust. I couldn't help myself with my response to his joke.

"I vaguely remember you", I pointed at Jacob. "Saying something about how you liked Quil". Jacob's grin dropped as he heard what I was saying. "How you couldn't keep your eyes off of him"

Jacob quickly walked up closer to me and pointed his finger in the air.

"That was a joke!"

Seth started laughing as a large grin took over his face.

"You said that!", he laughed. Jacob turned to him just as Quil and Embry decided to join the conversation.

"No!"

"Don't lie Jacob", I smirked. "Tell Quil all about how you like to watch him"

With that Quil made a face of confusion and looked back and forth from me to Jacob.

"What?", he questioned with an edge of hysteria in his voice.

"She'd joking", Jake informed.

This resulted with Embry throwing his hands up in the air and walking away from the conversation.

"I don't want to know!", he stated as he walked back towards the house. Jacob looked back to Quil.

"It was just a joke"

Then everything was back to normal. I was laughing, Seth was laughing and only Jacob was holding a face of disbelief.

"You guys are messed up. I'm outta here", he said with a bit of annoyance. "I'll see you guys later". And he headed out towards the woods.

"Where's he going", I asked Quil.

"Oh, Sam just wanted us to do some scouting tonight. Jake's taking the first shift"

Then Quil took a step closer to me just as we were about to head back inside.

"You were joking right?", he mercifully questioned.

I smiled and walked inside. I'd let him figure that one out on his own. Jacob should have thought twice before he decided to poke fun at Seth.

As soon as I got through the door I was met with two pairs of staring eyes. Charlie and Billy were both pointed in my direction. Billy's face was one of worry, while Charlie's was raising an eyebrow in wonder of what just happened. Billy motioned for me to come sit with them.

"Why don't you come on over Bell", he asked. I followed his instruction and made my way to the couch. "I told Charlie that you'd explain everything to him". Then Billy sent me a look that told me the exact opposite of what he'd just said. Apparently he was going to expect me to come up with some sort of excuse for what had happened. _Great_, I huffed in self defeat. Here it goes.

"What do you want to know?", I asked.

Charlie looked at me quizzically for a second then looked out towards the garage.

"There isn't a horse out there is there?"

I smiled and shook my head no. I didn't think he bought that story when he first heard it anyway. Seth isn't known for his lying genus. Clearly.

"Do I want to know Bells?", he asked.

And this was the question. The one that would let him into my world and take him out of his. Did I really want to do that to him? Destroy what he knows? He'd gone through at lot in the past month and this probably wouldn't help him any. Plus with the Nomad pack and the threat of a fight, it was safer if he didn't know. The less people involved the better.

"Probably not", I answered. In all truthfulness it was the truth. He nodded his head in agreement and looked back at the TV.

"Don't you want to know about what just happened?", I asked. I mean, wouldn't he want to know? He was there for it. He must be in the least bit curious as to why everyone was so built up over Seth's choice in kissing partners.

"God no", he laughed. "Why would I want to know that?"

"Oh, I guess it's not important", I settled. He raised his eyebrow again.

"Is it important?"

I thought it over for a second, but decided that it would just be better not to tell him. If he wasn't eager to know, then I wasn't going to be eager to tell.

"Not as important as dinner", I stated.

And that was where I left it. Billy joined Charlie in his attention to the TV screen and I got up and walked to the kitchen. It was my night to cook.

…

When Jake got back from scouting he quickly made his way over to the various pots I was cooking in. He pulled a lid off one and sniffed deeply.

"Mmmm", he breathed.

I turned around and re-covered the pot.

"It's not done", I told him.

"I don't care. I like my spaghetti undercooked", he smiled.

I gave him a look of amazement and scrunched up my nose.

"That's sick Jake"

"I'm just kidding Bells", he laughed. Then he placed his hands along my waist and turned me to face him. "Kiss me", he demanded.

"Not until you clean up", I joked. "You smell like a dog"

He held on tighter and whispered along my ear.

"That's because I am a dog", he smiled. Then he wisped me around and planted a kiss on my shoulder. At the same time he backed up into the handle of the sauce pot and knocked it over. Red splashed along the floor tiles and dripped down the oven. Jake looked up from the mess and gave me an apologetic stare.

"Nice Jacob", I stated as I bent down with some paper towels. "What are we going to have with the noodles now?"

He bent down with me and started mopping up the sauce with the towels.

"You should have let me kiss you"

I dropped my jaw in shock. Did he just blame this on me?

"Jacob you are one-"

My smart combat was instantly interrupted with the kitchen door flying wide open and a distraught Embry rushing towards us. Jacob quickly stood up and acknowledged his worried expression.

"What is it?", Jake questioned.

"It's Sam", Embry solemnly stated. "Something's happened"

…

"Tell me exactly what happened", Jacob demanded as we walked across the grass.

"I don't know", Embry answered. "We just found him out in the woods"

We continued to march our way through the grass and entered the clearing of the woods. It was starting to get dark out and the wind held our breaths in the cold air. I looked over at Jacob as he started to take up speed. His face was of total control. It didn't seem like anything could intrude on what he was thinking about now. And whatever it was, it was serious. A few seconds later Quil stepped up to us out from behind a tree.

"He's over here", he informed Jacob.

Jacob let him take the lead and followed him to another clearing just a few feet away. It was dark out, but I could still make out that what was lying in a heap along the dying grass was Sam. But it didn't look like him, this was a bloody and mangled version of the pack leader. Jacob stopped in his tracks and huffed out a breath of warm air that scurried up in the fall sky.

"Shit", he growled.

And that was all he said. It was all he needed to say. It was clear that there was no other words to explain what this meant. Even I knew what this would mean. The nomads were here.


	31. Show and Tell

Disclaimer:(It isn't and never will be mine. If I had Hermione's time turner then maybe, but I don't think I could do that to Stephenie)

_this chapter is dedicated to myself  
it's my b-day  
oh, and i promise to put up the next one by friday  
i just have to fix it up and finish it  
so yeah...enjoy :)_

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE**

**Show-and-Tell**

"We need to get him some help", Embry pointed out. "He's loosing a lot of blood"

"Who do you expect us to call?", Seth questioned. Then Quil joined the conversation.

"Yeah, we can't exactly go to the hospital"

Jacob rounded the corner of the hallway with an armful of towels in his hands.

"We just need to stop the bleeding", he stated.

I watched as he pressed a yellow towel up against Sam's chest while he handed Quil a striped one.

"Put pressure on his shoulder. I think that's the worst one", he directed.

My eyes were caught up in the mayhem that was Jacob's living room. Leah and Billy were both watching with idle stares at what Jacob was doing. Quil was pushing down against Sam's shoulder to stop the bleeding. Embry was pacing back and forth along the kitchen. And Charlie was watching it all from afar. I think he knew not to ask questions.

Sam looked bad. Real bad. And if he couldn't go to the hospital then there really was only one other option. I knew I would get five pairs of hate filled eyes once I'd said it, but it was the only chance for Sam.

"He needs a doctor Jake"

"I know Bella, but we don't have one", he answered.

"Yes we do", I hinted. Jacob turned to me with amazed eyes.

"Can you really expect for us to let them treat Sam?", he accused.

This cut me deep the way he said this. It was as if he was using a two sided sward by rejected the Cullen's help. They were a part of me, therefore he was also rejecting something of myself.

"He can help us", I pleaded.

"No Bella", Jacob cautioned.

"Do it for Sam, Jacob", I pleaded further. I knew he would have to accept it then. There just was no other alternative.

"Bella", he pleaded. I could actually see the pain in his eyes. This was not going to be easy.

"It's the only way", I informed.

Jacob looked around the circle of people and took in what their faces were saying. Each one held a grim expression of loss. They knew just as much as I did that this would be Sam's only chance. Then he ran his eyes along Sam's injuries, his face contorted into something of desperation.

"Fine", he grunted.

And with that I was off to the phone.

…

We all sat with an anxious air as we waited for Carlisle to arrive. It had been twenty minutes since Sam was brought into the house. The towels were covered in blood and Jacob's face was getting paler by the second. It was clear that something wasn't right. Finally a flash of light passed by the windows and across our faces. Footsteps caught our ears and a quick knock at the door followed. I jumped from my seat and opened the door.

"Bella", Carlisle greeted. Then he scanned the room and caught sight of Billy and Charlie. "Mr. Black, Chief Swan", he nodded. Both nodded back to him. Leah walked up to him and snarled.

"Cut the pleasantries Cullen and do your job"

Jacob glared at her and stood up from the mess of bloody towels. He motioned for Carlisle to come over.

"Ignore her", Jacob informed. Leah huffed in annoyance and leaned against the couch.

Carlisle bent over beside Sam and scanned over his body. It was easy to see that he was ignoring the bruises and cuts, but instead was taking stock in the amount of blood on the towels.

"The damage is immense", he stated. "How did this happen?"

Everyone looked around at one another and then back at Charlie. Charlie didn't seem to notice. Jacob spoke up.

"It wasn't anyone like you that did it", he informed with strong eyes. That answer really only left one possibility for what had happened. Werewolves and vampires were the only candidates for such an attack. Not the local bears, like Charlie was probably thinking.

"I see", Carlisle nodded. "I'll need space. Do you have an extra room?"

Jacob nodded and motioned for the others to pick up Sam's unconscious body. Slowly they made their way to Jacob's room and positioned him on the bed. Carlisle placed his hand on Jacob's shoulder and masked a serious face.

"The rest can leave", he decided.

With that everyone but Jacob left the room and the door shut.

…

"How is it?", I asked Jacob. He had now been out of the room for a couple minutes to get some water and I could see that he was in a hurry.

"Not good", he whispered.

I pulled him into a hug and he wrapped his arms around me. I could feel him shaking. He looked over to the sink and noticed the water starting to seep over the bucket rim. I turned the tap and wrapped myself back up in him.

"Sam will be fine", he assured. "Your doctor is good with our kind"

"Yeah", I mumbled against his chest. He held me out at arms length and looked curiously at me.

"What's wrong Bella?"

I should have known that he wouldn't have thought I was so worked up over Sam. Deep down I knew that he was going to be okay. The thing that was bothering me was Jacob. I couldn't help it. Every time I looked at Sam and remembered the blood, all I could see was Jacob. My Jacob. I couldn't let that happen. There was no way that I was going to let anyone take him from me. Not like that.

A tear slid down my cheek and he stopped it with his thumb.

"It'll be okay Bella". He pushed my head under his chin and hugged me tighter. "I won't let anything happen to you"

I pushed back from his embrace and caught his expression. _Did he actually thing I was worried about myself? Could he even think that?_

"It's not me I'm worried about", I assured him.

"Then what's the problem?"

I went back into the hug and squeezed with all my might.

"It's you. I don't want to lose you. I can't", I mumbled with tears coming now at their full momentum. He shushed me and rocked me back and forth.

"Nothing is going to happen to me", he half smiled. "I won't leave you"

"Promise"

"Promise what?", he questioned.

"Promise me that you won't leave me". I looked him hard in the eyes. "That when I say no, that you won't go". He shook his head from side to side. Clearly he was in disagreement. Like I knew he would be.

"I have to fight"

"No. Promise me", I demanded. I didn't care if I was being selfish. I wasn't going to let what happened to Sam happen to him. Jacob was mine and I wasn't taking any chances.

"I can't promise you that Bella". He eyed the others in the room and frowned worriedly. "The others…", he hesitated. "…they need me. I'm all they've got now"

"Jacob!", Carlisle shouted from the other room. Jacob looked from me to the door and frowned.

"I have to go", he said as he pushed back my gripping arms and went into his room with the water bucket.

The water splashed to the side and a few drops landed on the kitchen floor. Instantly I felt numb inside. For a second I just stood there and watched his bedroom door. Hoping that maybe, there would be the slight chance that things could work out. That we could get out of this war, or whatever it was, unscathed. But then a feeling of desperation took over me and I knew. I knew that it wouldn't happen like that. Something was going to happen and it was going to be bad. Another second passed and I noticed that Charlie had been watching me from his spot in the living room. I could tell that he was worried for my sake. He didn't know much, but he could tell when something wasn't right. I wiped my cheeks with my sleeve and walked over to him and sat on the couch.

"You okay Bells?", he asked. I could tell that he didn't want to bud in, but it was becoming more obvious by the second that what was happening was a little more than a bear attack. And he knew it.

"I'm fine Dad", I assured. "It's just a bad day"

"I can see that", he added. "It's not too often that bears attack in these parts". Then he gave me a look of understanding. I could tell that he knew a lot more than what I had originally thought.

"Yeah, bears", I agreed.

A few minutes passed of empty silence. Normally it would have been nice, but today I just wasn't having it.

"I think I'm gonna go talk to Mike", I said. Charlie looked at me oddly.

"The Newton boy?", he asked. "What's he doing in La Push?"

I thought about telling him for a second. I really did. But then I realized that Mike probably didn't want the whole town knowing about his recent liking for running barefoot and without cloths through the local woods. That was one thing I would leave for him to decide on.

"He cut his hiking trip short and decided to hang around here for a while", I lied.

Charlie nodded his head in agreement and I got up off the couch and made my way to the garage. When I got inside I could see that Mike was no longer tied up. He was leaning against the workbench, pulling on a boot.

"Hey Swan", he smiled. "What brings you into my digs? Need a hammer?", he joked.

"No Mike. I just needed to get away". I looked him up and down. "When did they untie you?", I asked. He was now lacing up one of his boots.

"About the time they noticed I was kissing Seth", he laughed. I arched an eyebrow in question.

"Really?"

"Well sort of. Apparently they figure that if I imprinted on one of theirs, that I wouldn't be much of a threat". Then he flexed his arm and grinned. "I think I'm still pretty scary". I smiled back at him. I didn't think there would ever be a time that I would consider Mike Newton as scary. "I guess it makes sense", he continued. "I don't think I'll be fighting against you guys now. I mean now that you've got someone who's pants I'd like to get into on your side". Now his face was all grins. My mouth dropped.

"Mike!", I shrieked.

"What?", he defended. "It's not like I'm talking about you"

"Yeah", I laughed. "But this is Seth"

"Yeah", he grinned. "I thought it was a little odd at first. Once I was told about the whole imprinting thing I was for sure that it was going to be you". Then he turned his arm to where a bruise was very visible to see. "Or Leah, she made it pretty clear that she wanted it to be her". I laughed as he grimaced.

"She seemed pretty shocked about it too", I agreed. "I think that she figured you'd imprint on her too, you know because she did. But I guess it doesn't work like that", I smiled.

"She'll get over it"

"I don't know Mike", I warned. "She went through the same thing with Sam and it was pretty bad"

"How is the torture artist anyway", he grossed. Clearly he didn't hold any reservation for the pack leader. I guess I wouldn't either if I had been beaten repeatedly for answers that I didn't have.

"He'll be fine", I assured him. "But who decided on letting you go?", I asked.

"Sam", he grinned.

"But Sam's been unconscious for the past hour", I told him. "Who told you this?"

Just then the garage door opened and Seth walked in. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped.

"Oh shit", he whispered.

"Did you untie Mike?", I asked him.

"Listen Bella, don't get mad, but-"

"I'm not that one you have to worry about Seth", I interrupted him. "What about Jacob? And Sam, when he wakes up? What do you think they will do?"

"I don't know", he mumbled.

"This will only make it worse for Mike", I informed him. "They'll tie him back up"

"I just figured that we could use him to our advantage. He's on our side!"

I gave him a quizzical look and tried to bit back a smile.

"Did you imprint on him Seth?", I asked.

"No! God No!", he shrieked. Mike sulked against the workbench and frowned.

"Then what are you talking about?"

"I just figured that we could use as many wolves as we could get"

"So you want to use Mike because he's in love with you and won't fight against us?"

"Basically, yeah", he smiled.

"That's sick Seth", I commented.

"How's that sick!"

"You're using him!"

"Yeah!", Mike shouted with his finger pointing at Seth.

"Shut up Mike!", we both yelled. He frowned even further and continued to watch the conversation from a distance.

"It's just not right!", I yelled.

"We need the help!", he countered.

"Don't I have any say?!", Mike asked.

"No!", we both yelled again. A few seconds of silence passed.

"Jacob's going to kill you", I informed him. Seth scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah, I know", he agreed.

"So when are you going to tell the others?"

"Now, I guess", he frowned.

With that I grabbed Mikes arm and we followed Seth into the house. Once we got inside a shock came over everyone's faces. Jaws dropped and eyes widened. Except for Leah's, hers made a evil glare, that if the phrase 'looks could kill' actually existed, this was one of them.

"What is he doing in here?!", she shrieked. Following Leah's outburst, both Quil and Embry jumped from the floor and snarled.

"What the hell Bella?!", Quil shouted. Then I realized that I still had Mike's arm in my hand. I dropped it quickly. "Why isn't he tied up?"

"Well actually", I started.

"Actually it was me", Seth admitted. All eyes went to Seth at that moment. Then Jacob walked through his bedroom door and once he saw Mike he dropped the bundle of towels that were in his hands.

"Bella, Seth", he asked. "Why isn't Mike in the garage?"

At that moment everyone just looked around at one another and then back from us to Jacob. Apparently we should have thought of something to say before we decided to play 'show and tell'. Seth seemed to be shaking nervously at my side and as for Mike it was clear the he didn't know what to do. A silence took on the room that was both uncomfortable and intimidating. We had no explanation. Or at least not one that was sane.


	32. Injuries and Updates

Disclaimer: (Sorry, not mine. Yet I find myself wishing anyway)

_holy jeez guys i'm soooo sorry  
i really didn't mean for this to take so long to get updated  
it's been at least...well it's been a long time  
you might need to re-read the end of the previous chapter to get back in the groove__  
sorry  
so here it is, chapter thirty-two  
i hope you like it and i really hope you can forgive me_

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO**

**Injuries and Updates**

"So is anyone going to say anything?", Jacob questioned.

"Well", Seth spoke. "It's like this"

"It's obvious what he's doing!", Leah interrupted, barging into the argument. "Now that blue eyes over there has imprinted on him, he thinks he gets to say what goes!" Seth glared at his sister in disagreement.

"Shut up Leah!", Seth yelled. "Like usual, you don't know a fucking thing!" The look on her face seemed shocked once her brother yelled at her. Apparently he hadn't done that before.

"Calm down", Jacob demanded. "We'll work this out. Quil, Embry, take Newton back to the garage and tie him up". Both boys started for Mike, but I interrupted.

"Stop", I ordered. Jacob quickly averted his eyes from Quil and Embry to me.

"What?", he asked.

"Seth has a good idea that he wants to share with you". As soon as I said it I heard a whine from the left of me.

"Bella…", Seth moaned. I gave him a reassuring look.

"Just tell them"

"What's the idea Seth?", Jacob questioned.

I could tell that he was trying to be patient, but I knew all to well that he was beyond mad right now. It's when Jacob acts serious that it's time to worry. Seth rounded the kitchen table and went up to Jacob. Then he did something that I did not expect. He pulled Jacob around to face the opposite direction of the hallway and started speaking just to him. The rest of us stood in silence while we tried to figure out what was going on. Embry turned to me with a curious expression.

"What's this about?", he asked.

I continued to watch Seth and Jacob speak quietly. Seth was making hand motions as he talked and Jake was nodded his head in earnest. Apparently whatever Seth was saying was catching his interest. Or making sense in some way. I answered Embry without turning my head.

"I don't know"

A couple of minutes passed and both of them turned back to meet our awed and confused faces. Seth walked back to my side and smiled.

"Newton will be staying here", Jacob alerted.

"What about Sam", Quil pointed out. "He's the leader, doesn't he have a say?"

Jacob frowned and looked from Quil to me.

"While Sam's unable to act as leader, like now", he motioned. "I will be giving orders"

"That's bullshit!", Quil yelled. Jacob returned his gaze to him.

"You know the rules Quil", Jake informed. Then he looked around the room. "Newton stays", he finished. He waited a few seconds in case of another objection and then turned back to his room, where Sam and Carlisle were waiting. The door shut and everyone stood in silence. It was evident that there was nothing more to discuss.

…

After another two hours Carlisle and Jacob finally came out of the room. It was now past midnight and Charlie had already fallen asleep by the couch. Billy wheeled his way across the kitchen tiles towards Jacob's room as soon as Carlisle walked out. Jacob walked up to me and pressed his lips on my forehead, then lowered them to mine and kissed me.

"Is everything okay?", I asked. Jacob nodded. I could see that he was tired.

"Everything's fine", Carlisle announced. "He had a lot of bleeding, but he healed fast". Everyone in the room let out a sigh of relief. Their leader was going to be okay. "But it will be a couple of days until he'll be on his feet again", he continued. "A couple of ribs were broken"

Since no one knew what this would mean for the war, everyone decided to stay silent. If Sam, their leader, wasn't going to be able to fight then the chances weren't going to be good. Yet they all knew, including me, that the fight would still happen. The war would continue. Carlisle wiped his hands on a white cloth and placed it on the counter.

"Thank you for letting me help", he smiled. Jacob made an odd face with a scrunched up nose and knitted eyebrows. Then he put out his hand towards Carlisle.

"Dr. Cullen", he acknowledged. Carlisle reached out and shook his hand. The look on Jacob's face was priceless. I could see the actual pain it took for him to do this. Jacob dropped the pale hand quickly and forced a smile. Carlisle smiled back and then headed for the door.

"Take care Bella", he smiled. I forced a smile in return. I still felt odd being near him. Knowing that he most likely blamed me for what had happened to Edward. But I guess it was fare, because I was the reason his son left in the first place. But I pushed this feeling back and thanked him.

"Thank you", I smiled. He tilted his head in understanding and opened the door and left.

Once the rest of the pack was sure that the vampire, as they would put it, was gone, they all rushed towards Jacob's room. Slowly I followed behind. From my position at the door I could see that Jacob was sitting near the bed while the rest encircled him. Leah was standing in the far corner holding a face of remorse. Even though she put off a hard front it was easy to see that Sam's pain bothered her. She was in love with him after all. A few seconds passed and a muffled cough came from Sam as he rolled on the bed.

"Who touched the vampire?", he questioned in a half dazed tone.

Jacob quickly rubbed his hand along his pants and grimaced. Sam eyed him suspiciously and cocked an eyebrow.

"It was you wasn't it?"

"It's not like I had much of a choice", he retorted. "He saved your life"

"You should have seen yourself", Seth interrupted. "There was blood everywhere!"

Most of the room turned to look at Seth. A moment of silence followed the glares the rest of the pack were sending him.

"You know what you might find interesting Sam?", Embry grinned.

"What?", Sam asked.

"The fact that our little hostage is no longer a hostage"

Sam's eyes popped to their full width, then sliced daggers at Embry.

"And why not?", he spit through his clenched jaw.

"Well apparently little Seth here-"

"SHUT UP!", Seth yelled. Jacob turned towards Embry and gave him a dominating look.

"Leave him alone Embry"

"No, I think he should know", Leah added with a bit too much perkiness as a smile crept on her otherwise irritated face.

I turned my gaze to Seth. The poor kid didn't know what was happening. The thing between him and Mike was already confusing enough, he didn't need the rest of his pack making fun of him because of it. I frowned as I heard Embry's next words.

"It's a really romantic story Sam. I'm sure Seth wouldn't mind telling it"

Sam arched an eyebrow and seemed to be trying to force information out of Seth my concentrating on his reaction. His eyes scanned him up and down and finally he gave up with a frown.

"What is it Seth?", he demanded.

"It's nothing", Seth mumbled below his breath. "He may have imprinted on me"

Embry rolled with laughter.

"Maybe?! There's no maybe about it! The half breeds in love with you!"

"SHUT UP!", Seth roared.

"Well", Sam started. "That doesn't change anything". He looked around the room and stopped, sending a stern look pointed at Quil. "You and Embry can put him back in the garage"

With that Leah's half smile quickly formed into a grin and Seth's whole face dropped. I wasn't going to stand for this. I didn't care if Sam wouldn't take me seriously, but Mike was not going back in the garage. Just as I was about to speak my disagreement, Jacob spoke up.

"Quil, Embry, he's not going in the garage"

Sam abruptly turned to his second in command and sent him a daggering glare. Half in amazement and half in anger.

"Excuse me?", he questioned. Jacob shifted nervously in his seat, but ended it there. I could see the change in him as he spoke again. Jacob was no longer a follower. He lead.

"I said he's not going in the garage. Newton is on our side now"

Sam attempted to rearrange himself on the bed, but failed when it looked like a sharp pain in his side prevented him from moving any further. He flustered a hand along his waist and hissed.

"I decide who is and who isn't on our side Jacob", he breathed harshly. "I'm the leader, I make the choices"

Jacob shook his head. Long strands of ebony black hair fell forward then limped.

"Not anymore", Jacob informed. "Things have changed"

Sam's expression seemed almost stuck in a state of shock at this declaration.

"You said you didn't want the alfa position, so I kept it. You can't change your mind Jacob"

"It's not a matter of changing my mind Sam", Jacob firmly noted. "It's just what has to happen"

Sam slumped back against the headboard, seeming to accept what he'd just been told.

"Get me Emily will you?", he quietly asked Jacob. Jake nodded and started his way out of the room. With a motion from Sam the rest followed him out.

…

And now I sit.

It's been an hour since we all left Jacob's room and took residence around the kitchen. Once Emily came, her and Jacob went straight into his room and shut the door. She probably wasn't going to take Sam's injuries well. And it didn't help much that no one bothered to pick up the bloodied towels in the hallway. When her eyes caught sight of that she was in instant tears. But Jacob assured her that he was fine and then lead her into his room. That was the last that any of us saw of them.

For a place that was always filled with fun-loving games and rowdiness, someone could mistaken it as a wake. Looking around at the surrounding faces in the room, it seemed just that. Something had died in each of us and we were now mourning it individually. No one seemed able to look anyone else in the eyes. Too much had happened and nothing could be said. When a groups leader falls, so does their willpower. Tonight things were going to change and people were more than likely going to die. What a crappy realization.

At that thought a tear escaped my ever hardening stare and trailed down my cheek. I didn't want to lose anyone. Looking around the room I saw the faces of people that I loved. Quil and Embry were Jacob's best friends, his brothers. Mike was someone of my past, who was now interestingly involved in my present and I couldn't possibly think of losing him. He was Mike after all, just Mike. And seeing him now as he casually leaned against the counter I couldn't not be reminded of the fair-haired boy who welcomed me with just a tad too much enthusiasm on my first day in Forks. He didn't deserve this fate, just like Billy didn't. My eyes quickly darted to him, he was still seated in his chair facing the livingroom so as to keep an eye on the window. He probably still sensed the danger of another attack. I could see the worry in his expression as he watched the window with his stone set glare. He worried for his son and the rest of the pack. It just wasn't fair to see so much pain thrown upon such a buoyant person. I didn't want to see the day that Billy wasn't there to crack a joke.

Slowly my eyes adverted towards Charlie. My father didn't deserve this either. He was always a good man, with a loving heart. He didn't show it, but he was worried. For everyone. Even though he didn't know the specifics of the situation, he knew things weren't right. And he wasn't dumb, he knew a bear didn't attack Sam. A pained lump constricted my throat. If I lost him…no I wasn't even going to think about it.

And then there was Seth. I almost smiled at the bored expression he held as he mindlessly scratched his arm and occasionally snuck quick glances towards Mike. It's odd at how quickly I took a liking to the ruff and ratty boy. If I'd ever compare someone to a brother, he'd be it. It was always just me and my parents and then me and my mom. But just after a short year with Seth, it seems like he was always a part of me. If there was anyone here that didn't deserve to die it was him. He was just so young. Silly all the time, but always masked with seriousness. Contradictive, but for some reason the spirit suited him. And I loved him.

More tears started to collect around my eyes, blinding me in a treacherous wall of fear. I didn't want to see the people I loved drop away from me. Heck, even Leah didn't deserve to die. She was a bitch, but no one deserved such a gruesome end. And if the attack on Sam was a preview for what's to come, I don't think anyone would need to stretch their imagination much. It was going to be bad.

I took a deep breath and gave one last scan of the people I was doomed to lose. Then I chose to give up on my wait. The meeting in Jake's room was probably going to take a while. Making my way to the couch, I slumped down with a pillow and closed my eyes.

…

_Bright lights. Always bright lights. Sam sits in the corner holding a small block with a moon symbol roughly painted on it's side. This confuses me, so I slowly take a step towards him. I can almost make out the smell of dying grass._

"_Don't Bella"_

_I look over my shoulder and see Billy._

"_Where's your chair?", I whisper. It seemed almost self-conscious, as if I should already know the answer._

_Alls he does is chuckle in response. But quickly his face turns into stone seriousness. It's almost like slow motion that I turn to look back at Sam. Now he's turned the block and a new symbol appears. A blur takes over my eyesight and I can't see what it is. Billy laughs again._

"_Don't bother Bella. Just do what's needed. Don't think about the wolf"_

_I arch my brow in confusion. I have no idea what he's talking about._

"_There's no wolf here", I inform him. It seems almost imperative that he knows this._

"_Oh actually there's quite a few. But you don't need to worry", he corrects. "You just need to do your part and that's it"_

_A brown flash crosses behind Billy and disappears. I try to follow it, but the blur takes over my sight again._

"_What part?", I ask._

"_You'll know", he starts but is cut off when the brown flash appears beside him. For just a second I can almost make out who it is. It's clearly a person, but who it is I can't fathom to know. Yet the face seems familiar._

"_Who is it?", I question Billy. He shakes his head with a frown, pointed at the unknown face._

"_Go away"_

…

"Wake up Bells", a soft whisper catches my ear. I roll over from the couch and see Jacob's smiling face looking down. Slowly I start to realize that I'd passed out while waiting for his meeting with Sam to end.

"I think I fell asleep", I informed him.

"I'd say so", he laughs. "But I think it's time to get up"

After his words sunk in I looked around and saw that nobody else was in the room. It seems oddly quiet.

"Where'd they all go?"

"They're just outside", he answered as he kissed my shoulder.

The small gesture was so small and simple, yet unyielding. Instantly I was in his arms, touching and grabbing for more. Finally I found my way to his lips and then I was home. So much was wrong with everything, but this feeling right now was for certain. More than anything I just wanted to melt into his body and stay there. With the before silence, the room was now filled with warm breaths caught between us and the slight squeak of the couch as he better positioned himself over me.

In a hurried pace his lips caught at my throat and sucked a kiss just at the base. At the contact my breath hitched and I arched back to give him better access. Slowly he trailed blazed kisses across my shoulder and up my neck. A moan erupted from the silence. If it was myself or him, I didn't know. All that mattered was that he was here right now and he was kissing me. God, it felt like I'd just gone home with his kiss. A chuckle caught my ear and I felt him smirk against my neck.

"Hey Bells", he questioned.

"Yeah", I responded. All too aware of my breathless speech.

"I think we should probably go outside"

"Yeah, okay", I agreed. Still unmoved due to the six foot-seven hunk of werewolf currently on top of me. Jacob arched an eyebrow in humor.

"You know you kind of need to get up"

"I would, but you're kind of acting as a human body brace at the moment", I laughed.

"Oh", he grumbled as he made his way off. "Lets go"

Taking my hand he pulled me off the couch and attacked me in a hug. Warmth instantly covered me as Jake's arms tightened. I couldn't help but feel like a candy bar wrapped in it's foil packaging. _Well_, I thought to myself, _at least if I was going to be food product, it was a Jacob Bar_. He let out a hot breath against my neck and sighed.

"This really sucks", he mumbled.

"I agree"

"I just….I don't….why can't things just be more normal", he continued.

"Normal never existed Jake", I half smiled.

"Yeah, well…lets go find the rest", he decided and unwrapped me.

Taking my hand, we walked to the door. Just as he turned the knob, he hesitated and let go. Almost lightning fast he pulled me up into a kiss that attacked all my senses. Before I even knew it I was responding to the attack with more passion than I'd thought possible. It almost felt like a last kiss and that scared me on a level so dark that my brain didn't know what to think and without warning tears started streaming down my face. Clinging tighter to him, I hid the treacherous cry into the side of his collar. All too soon he heard the muffled sobs and pulled me from him and gave me a curious look.

"Come on, let's go", he stated and kissed my forehead.

"Sorry", I groaned.

"Bella", he mused as he pulled me tighter to him. "Nothing's going to happen. We'll be fine and everything will get better. Besides", he added. "we've got Mike now"

"Mike!", I joked. "Okay, we'll see how that goes". Now with my smile back, I snuffed out my tears with my sweater and sighed. "Let's go"

Now with the door open, we both left our little moment and went outside. As the cold air caught my face I could feel the tingle of the fall weather setting in. It's certainly interesting how fast time can pass when you're under the threat of an antagonistic nomad tribe of werewolves. God, if that wasn't mouthful. A split second passed and Jacobs hand tightened exponentially in my own with a threat to crush. Instantly the atmosphere changed into something dark and the air felt thick with anticipation. Slowly my eyes traveled up to Jake's and I could see the same feeling in his own expression. Something was wrong.

Then a howl erupted from the woods.

"BLACK!", it yelled.

Jacob's eyes darted from me to the intruder, who was still invisible behind the trees. Quickly he scanned the tree line as he stepped in front of me in a protective stance. All sound evaded me as my ears rang with my quickening heart beat. I could almost taste the impending ruin. Then I noticed that everyone else was gone. No Quil, no Seth, not even Embry or Mike. The clearing was completely empty except for us.

"BLACK!", the voice screamed again.

Jacob grabbed me tight.

"RUN!", he urged in my ear. "GET OUT OF HERE BELLA"

My heart stopped and he let go, rushing to the woods he headed straight towards the threat. I felt immobile as I watched him disappear with distance, but then my legs took control and as quick as I could I dodged past a tree making my way to the garage. Nearly tripping over a shredded tire, I slammed my back against the garage door. Whatever the hell was happening it wasn't good.


	33. Jacob, Bella, and Edward

Disclaimer: (nothing here is mine. except the plot. and even that doesn't compare to stephanie)

_i hate myself. i really didn't mean to make you guys wait so long  
i won't give excuses, cause i'm not like that  
but i'm sorry  
i really hope you'll stay with my story and enjoy the newest chapter  
there's only a few more left..._

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE**

Jacob, Bella and Edward

**JACOB'S POINT OF VIEW:**

I smelled it. Right as we walked out the door I caught the difference in the air and I knew. The rest of the pack was gone, probably taken. Bella was clinging on my arm and realizing that she would be here for this swelled me with anger. My hand tightened in her grip so as to steady myself. Those bastards. Those stupid fucking bastards. I was going to kill them.

"BLACK!"

My name roared through the woods at a splintering speed. I hadn't heard the voice before. It was foreign to me, but I would remember it. Bella didn't seem frightened yet, but I knew it was coming. Her pale face was massively getting paler and her grip on my hand was unyielding. I could see in her eyes the fear building and taking home. She seemed to be reading the same thing from my gaze as well. Some shit was going to happen and it was going to be fucked up. Fuck I hated werewolves sometimes.

"BLACK!", the voice bellowed a second time.

In the fastest motion possible I swooped down on Bella and grabbed her shoulders. With a last glance at her quickly breaking face I barged into a hug.

"RUN", I yelled. "GET OUT OF HERE BELLA!"

Then I let her go.

Not even looking back because I couldn't, I ran. From my previous scan of the wood line I figured the bastard was somewhere near the south end. I thought about phasing, but figured better of it. I wanted to see this fucker in my own eyes. I wanted to kill him with my own hands. This was how I was going to finish it. All to quickly I noticed a shift in the scent. It wasn't headed south like I'd originally thought. Stopping in my tracks, I froze and scanned my surroundings. Trees. Dark sky. A breeze ruffled my hair as it passed my nose. The smell seemed off, not like the one from before. Instantly I turned to my right.

"You're faster than I expected", the dark figure spoke.

Taking a step closer so the moon light would show his face, I could now see who it was. Pale face, tall figure and a crippling stance. This was not a werewolf.

"Well, you're uglier than I thought", I spit.

"Touché", he purred.

"So they have parasites working for them now?", I accused.

"You are quick to assume that it is them that are in charge. I expected more from you Black. You really are like they say you are-"

"Where's my pack?", I interrupted with a voice verging on anger.

I wasn't at full rage yet, but I could feel it coming. The feeling just before a phase started itching at my back. I was going to have to act quick. If this guy thought I was the type for small talk then he was obviously dumber than I'd originally considered. Just as I thought that he stepped out of the light and rounded towards my left.

"Hasty are we?", he purred yet again. God I hated it how the bloodsuckers purred out every syllable as if they were a cat. Sick bastards.

"Who are you?", I growled. A sided smile caught his face. The slight lighting that hit his profile at an angle gave the look as much malice as could be perceived.

"Does that really matter? I know who you are and I know what you want. Does my name hold any real importance in this?"

So he wanted to play games. I fucking hated games with these creeps. It always seemed to come down to that. Apparently life after a few hundred years can lose it's spice if this is what they have to do to get a thrill. Bunch of fuckers. I was particularly starting to hate this one.

"Don't fuck with me leech, I'll kill you"

He didn't even flinch at my threat, which is usually not a good sign. Instead he dropped his smile, leaving his face expressionless.

"I have no doubt of that", he spoke with an air of knowledge. "It's not like I haven't met your kind before. Werewolves aren't the smartest or the best smelling creatures in our world, but if anything they do know how to put on a show. Killing machines is what my partner describes you as"

"Your partner?", I questioned.

"Oh yes, you didn't think I'd be coming alone. Don't worry though, you'll meet him soon", he smirked.

I took a step to my right, causing our stances to look more like a dance. Slowly the leech prowled in a circle as I countered it. Just the smell of him was pissing me off, this little game of his wasn't helping the cause. Phasing was going to take place soon if I didn't do something.

"Where's my pack, leech", I spit. The only tone such a creature deserved.

A smirk grew on his face as he straightened out his shirt. It was then that I noticed his attire. Long black coat. Red silk shirt. A pair of pressed pants, possibly grey. A taste of bile grew in the back of my throat. Preppy-ass vampires, always going for the posh look. Then I saw his shoes. They didn't fit with the rest of his look. Just at the hem of his pants stood a pair of faded converse. Blue with a red star. The fucking leech was wearing Embry's shoes.

"Nice shoes", I casually drawled.

Then the fucker had the balls to look down with an eye of innocence. Tilting his head back up he was now sporting a smile from cheek to cheek.

"Yes, rather fitting I think", he added.

"Actually I was just thinking how they didn't go with your outfit at all. A little to normal for a blood-sucker like you"

"Oh, you have a fashion sense! How extravagant!", the vampire purred with delight.

"Where's my pack", I demanded.

"Now now, lets not get hasty again. As I said, I know what you want so there's no need to ask", he spoke prissily. "Your dogs are quite fine…for the time being"

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?"

The vampire smiled again.

"Everything and everything", he spoke quickly. "But the question is, what do you think you can do about it?"

From the feeling I was now getting, I could tell that a smile was forming on my lips. The blood-sucker may be pissing me off, but I wasn't about to lose my cool just yet. I had to keep this little game of his going if I was going to get what I wanted. For Bella and my pack I was going to play and I was going to win.

"First I'll get you to tell me where they are", I answered knowingly. "Then I will find them, kill whoever stands in my way and then I'll come for you", I added with a smile. "I'll kill you"

For a split second it seemed as if I'd scared him. A slight shimmer of actual fear plagued across his face, but in an instance it was replaced with a side-long smirk and a quirky laugh.

"What if I promise to give the shoes back?"

A silence took over the woods as both my eyes and his matched. I wasn't sure why this statement of his seemed to have taken such a toll in our banter, but for some reason it struck me as odd. Why would he mention giving the shoes back? Was it normal for a vampire to steal then return? I remembered all to clearly the story of Bella's encounter with a particularly nasty group about a year back who collected from their victims. I had only assumed this one would be the same. I guess not.

With a bellowed laugh the nameless creature continued.

"Yes, that is right. I'll give you the shoes as I said". Then a particularly evil grin overtook his already vice features. "It's not like he'll need them though"

I phased.

**BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW:**

My breathing was already labored, but even over my shallow breaths I heard the howl from the woods. Something was wrong. As fast as I could get my legs to cooperate, I pushed off the garage and headed for the house. I needed to call someone.

**EDWARD'S POINT OF VIEW:**

_Five days earlier…_

I hate myself.

Currently all I can think about is the various ways I could rid myself of this place. It's become clear that all my presence does is cause pain. I saw it in Bella's eyes and I know my family doesn't need me. I don't live like them anymore, so now all I can do is take myself away from it. Bella doesn't need me and she's made it clear. Maybe by doing this, I will be giving my one last gift to her. Letting her have her dog and live a safe life will be my goodbye.

After she walked away from me in the hospital I knew it was over. Her pain was so surviving I could taste it in the air. I could tell that the tears in her eyes were caused by me and the realization of that did it. It was time for me to leave. Yet still I followed her. I don't think she knows this, but when she walks towards something she doesn't want it is so visible it hurts to see. Her feet shuffle and her head hangs low as she tries to make the distance stretch. And even though I knew her pain, all I could think about was mine. For a soul-less dead vampire, I felt so much pain at that moment nothing else could matter. I felt like I was dying all over again.

For a moment she just stood outside Charlie's room, watching. First at Charlie, then I noticed her eyes steer towards Jacob. Her dog. The expression she made was so full of love and care that it made me sick. For that I hated her and I'd never thought that possible. For someone I claimed to love so much, I could now hate her just as equally.

Personally I blame the dog.

_Two days later…_

One of their pack was attacked last night. Some other group of dogs had been running around the past few weeks and it seemed evident that something would happen soon. If anything those mutts are territorial. When the call came for help I told Carlisle not to go. It really wasn't anything that had to pertain to us. Separate species, separate problems. The only response I received was silence. Not even a thought. When he came back covered in the dogs blood he walked right past me and went to wash up. I don't even know why I bothered coming out of my room anymore. Aside from the fact that I can read their disapproving minds, their lack of presence speaks enough. They hate me.

Alice asked me not to come to her anymore. For weeks I'd been asking questions about Bella. It started off with wanting to know if she'd come back to me, then to weather or not she'd be okay. She didn't have to say anything to stop me from coming, she pretty much gave it off by singing the Canadian National Anthem in Spanish in her head.

I did catch a glimpse of Sam Uley. I guess the dog lived. Congratulations to them.

_A couple hours later…_

"I'm not coming back Carlisle"

Carlisle tilted his chin towards the window and seemed to be looking for something off in the woods.

"Do you smell it?", he asked.

The question was unusual and when I searched his head for possible hints I found nothing.

"Smell what?", I questioned.

"It's in the wind", he frowned. "If you can't pick up on such things maybe it's right for you to leave". He looked back from the window to me. "Perhaps sooner than now".

Again I searched his thoughts and came up with nothing. Fed up with this oddness, I asked him.

"Why can't I hear your thoughts?"

"Because I'm blocking you", he stated simply.

"How-"

"I'm not that unobservant Edward, so don't make me out to be. I know you've been killing humans and living off their blood".

The only words to describe this moment were guilt and pain. Guilt because I knew I'd shamed him and pain because I knew I'd never be welcomed back. And yet there was still more surprise. The pain seemed more physical than anything and I couldn't understand it. Why was I feeling this when I shouldn't have cared at all? If I was murdering people then why was I able to feel remorse for it? Perhaps I should have stayed in Italy with the Volituri.

"It hurts me to say this Edward, but you are not welcome here anymore. You may not go with the name Cullen and you must leave at once". His eyes filled with something of remorse. "We've already discussed it as a family and we'd like you to leave", he finished.

I gave it ten seconds to sink in. I was no longer a Cullen. No longer a brother or a son. I didn't have Bella and I didn't have my family. I was simply a killer. Anger took over me.

"Where is this family then!", I demanded. "No one wants to see me off?!"

"Calm Edward", Carlisle warned. "Leave with dignity"

"How can I leave with dignity like this! I have nothing! I am nothing! I'm a killer and the worst part is that I like it!", I shouted. Speaking evenly, he quietly responded.

"And that is why you don't belong with us anymore. You enjoy it and that doesn't leave room for change. You'll never change Edward, not for us anyway"

Searching his thoughts for one last piece of hope, I found nothing. Still his mind was forbidding me access. I didn't quite know how he was doing it, but I could only assume it had to do with drinking human blood. Without taking a second glance, I turned from Carlisle and walked out the front door. Walking past my car, I continued heading for the woods and closer to the wolves. I was going to kill them, all of them.

Then just as I stepped through the forest line, I heard a phone ring behind me.

"EDWARD!", Carlisle's voice ripped through the woods. Both his thoughts and his speech was filled with worry.

As quick as I left, I turned around and ran back. Still with the phone in his hand, I reached Carlisle at lightening speed in hurry.

"It's Bella. They're in trouble", he spoke.

For a split second I was in instant fear for her life. Bella was in trouble and I was going to save her. Then the image of her at the hospital pushed it's way back into my mind and I knew better. She didn't want me. I started to turn away, back to my original destination when Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder.

"She needs you", was all he said and I was stuck.

"Where are they?", I asked.


	34. Unexpected

Disclaimer: (and i owe it all to........Stephenie Meyer!)

_hey guys, sorry  
i know i suck at this updating thing, but i swear i'm trying  
at least that's something, huh?_

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR**

Unexpected

_**Jacob continued…**_

I phased.

The vampire took a step back while raising his hands in defense.

"No need to get doggy, Black"

As the bloodsucker moved hesitantly between the trees, I knew I was going to have to make my move. I didn't even care if I got information from him anymore. He'd killed Embry and now I was going to rip his head off. I took a step to my left to block his sly escape.

"Why don't you calm down", he strained.

As he stilled his stance, the moonlight caught just the angle for me to see his throat muscles tighten as his eyes wavered through the surrounding woods. I could see he was trying to plan a way out, but I wasn't going to give him the time. A branch snapped under my weight when I took a step forward.

"I didn't kill him", he spoke calmly as he carefully eyed my front legs. "Your wolf is still very much alive".

The expression he gave off seemed to be one of extreme disappointment. Apparently he had been looking forward to making a game of the situation. Too bad I didn't fuck with vampires. Instantly I phased back. There was more to discuss.

"Where are they?", I demanded.

A smile overtook his previously nerv-wrecked face. I could see the lie he was already playing out in his head.

"Would you like to wear my shirt?", he quipped. Disturbingly his eyes dragged along my less than covered body and rested on my chest. "It's cold", he added.

"I'll be fine", I grunted. "Tell me where they are"

"You can't expect me to actually tell you?", he questioned headily.

Now I was seriously getting sick of the game he seemed more than eager to keep up. Time was running low, I didn't know where my pack was, and Bella was by herself.

"Well", I snarled, "I did, but if you want to continue this game I guess I could get "doggy" again"

He smiled at the term.

"I can see that you don't miss things. You should probably know that I really don't hold any real power over this situation. As you can see", he eyed me then himself, "I don't care much for physical fighting"

I scoffed at his wording.

"Of course you wouldn't, you wouldn't want to dirty your pressed pants"

"And correct you are", he chimed with a smirk. "But in all fairness, I was lying about your mutt, he's very much alive. So you have no reason to get "doggy" with me", then his eyes glittered with a wink. "Unless that _is_ what you want?"

Whatever his insinuation was, I wasn't having it.

"Sorry, I prefer the living and breathing type", I answered. "Now tell me where the fuck my pack is"

"In living, do you mean the girl?", he inquired.

"She has nothing to do with any of this", I growled. God, I was going to full blast fucking phase if he kept on this track.

"Ah", he motioned. "But she has everything to do with this. I'm actually quite surprised that you hadn't seen it yet"

"Seen what?", I growled.

…

_**Bella **_

_Edward was coming. He would be here. He would help. _

If I continued to repeat this over and over, then maybe it would start to sink in. I could literally feel the trouble that was coming, and boy was it coming fast. Just after I'd made the call, I had heard the most pain filled howl that I could have ever imagined come ripping through the woods. Either Jacob was hurt, one of the boys was, or I was in a trap. I suppose I probably should have foreseen this, basing off my track record anyway. I walked to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. Frantic was started to set in as I gulped the liquid at a racing speed. The usual content tick of the clock was becoming a drum beat against my heart as each second passed.

_What was taking him so long? _

As I turned to place the cup into the sink, my heart stopped. If it was possible, and apparently it was, I was having a complete system failure. With my knees locked and my eyes wide, the image in the window's reflection was enough to make me wonder if I would ever live for another day. With hope of all hope I dropped to the floor and prayed that the man outside hadn't seen me, but most of all I prayed he wasn't the vampire that I knew him to be.

_Why him?_

…

_**Edward **_

Lightning. Sound. Light. All things I am slower than, and more than ever I am aware of this. I hate that when there is something I need to be doing more than anything, it's more often than not, harder than anything I've done before. And right now I needed to be where Bella was.

Carlisle only need say that she was at the dogs house and I was off, tearing through the woods. I'd be damned if something was going to happen to her there. Leaving her to the dogs was suppose to mean she'd be safer, apparently I was wrong on that assessment. Now, more than ever she was in danger.

If I was lucky, I'd get there before she was already gone, taken, or whatever those imbeciles had planned. If I was lucky, she'd still be alive.

…

_**Bella**_

Never had I been so closely acquainted with Billy's tiled kitchen floor. And really, the dirt that had clearly been building up for weeks didn't matter, definitely not when compared to what was standing outside. I tried to hold my breath as I heard the door unlatch and push from the frame. I tried to keep my heart beat at an all possible minimum. But all this was painfully done in blind hope, because it really wouldn't matter if he could hear my breathing or feel my heart's over excessive pumping. And when the door shut, followed by footsteps towards the only thing separating me from him, I prayed to all that I could that Billy's kitchen counter would provide enough of a barrier, because right now, my blood was all to blame.

I was going to die.

"I smell you", his voice droned. "So you might as well get up"

_Do as he says_.

Edward? Edward was here! But where, and why wasn't he stopping this guy?

Not knowing what to do, I decided to take the advice. Steadying my hands against the floor, I slowly pushed myself up.

_Look him in the eyes. Don't show fear. Be strong Bella._

I wasn't sure if I could, but my eyes apparently had strength that I did not know of. Now I was looking right at him and he was countering me.

"You are to come with me. That is all that will happen", he voiced, still with a steady expression.

"Edward will know", I pleaded for a last chance. "The Cullen's will find out".

_Don't threaten Bella. Just do what he says. This is not a game, he can and will kill you._

"Do you think that I care if your vampires know?", he spoke. "I could care less. I will kill them all regardless, and by then you will have already been dead"

"Then why should I come with you?", I argued.

"Because, it would be useless to have to kill you…for now anyway"

What do I do? I can't just go with him, he'd eventually kill me and then Edward. But what choice did I really have? Could I outrun him? Not at all, I doubt I'd make it past the dishwasher. Yet there was no way that I could just give up like this. I had to fight.

"I won't go"

He turned from the counter and vanished. Stuck in aw, my face must have looked like a deer mesmerized by a giant SUV's headlights. _Where did he go! How? _Then I felt a bush at my shoulder and I knew.

"Then I will have to make you", he worded against my ear.

…

_**Jacob**_

If he was saying what I think he was, then I was extremely fucked. This was a trap and I hadn't seen it, hell, I didn't even think about it. They weren't after my pack at all, they wanted Bella.

"The girl is the reason for why I'm hear. Actually", the vampire smirked. "I think I made quite a domineering distraction if I must say. By now she's more than likely with my partner".

I didn't even bother with what the leech said, once my realization hit home I was off. Running as fast as I could my mind was filled with distinct possibilities. Flashes of Bella dead, Bella surrounded by them, Bella on the brink of death. Nothing seemed as important as the feeling that I was having right then. It felt like my chest was being ripped out of my center. The core of me was diminishing with the thoughts of losing her.

Finally reaching the clearing, I could make out my house. But something stopped me. With my bare feet perched in the cold dirt, I froze and aimed my nose to the air. Something akin to the scent of mold and death filled me, causing me to snarl. Shit. They'd already come. I don't think I'd ever ran the distance from the clearing to my house in such speed before, but that thought was quickly dismissed as I took in the fact that the door had been left open.

_Oh god, Bella._

I didn't even need to go in. She wasn't there, and she hadn't been for at least a couple minutes. I could already track her sent in the air that pointed her capture heading west. A thud of the ground muffled by the crisp dirt echoed in my ears as my knees hit the ground. Seconds passed where I just breathed, all I allowed myself to do was breath.

_What do I do? How can I get her back?, _I pleaded with myself.

The noise of a pebble kicked past my ear and heightened my senses back to reality. Opening my eyes I saw a pair of expensive black shoes painted in dirt.

"You're going to need my help", Edward answered.


End file.
